St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "St. Louis Chapter 30 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Human trafficking--how terrible. Mac was fortunate to be rescued from that gang, and it sounds like she's going to be all right. There's not much information from her yet, as she's still undergoing treatment. Lots of suspense in this, and great work with the characters. Logan's stuck his neck out in the operation to rescue Mac, but they succeeded, and also rescued three other women. Outstanding chapter. judi
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
  |
Human trafficking--how terrible. Mac was fortunate to be rescued from that gang, and it sounds like she's going to be all right. There's not much information from her yet, as she's still undergoing treatment. Lots of suspense in this, and great work with the characters. Logan's stuck his neck out in the operation to rescue Mac, but they succeeded, and also rescued three other women. Outstanding chapter. judi
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from royowen
I sort of have in my mind, "St. Louis blues" I've got A funny idea in my head I could be plagiarising something. But I'll sleep on it Barbara. This a great episode, but I'll be guessing that perhaps Mackenzie will be OK, I certainly hope so, I immediately think of my daughters, and I would be devastated if it happened to them. You're a good writer Barbara, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
 |
I sort of have in my mind, "St. Louis blues" I've got A funny idea in my head I could be plagiarising something. But I'll sleep on it Barbara. This a great episode, but I'll be guessing that perhaps Mackenzie will be OK, I certainly hope so, I immediately think of my daughters, and I would be devastated if it happened to them. You're a good writer Barbara, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
St Louis Blues are a professional hockey team. LOL Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sankey
This was a very thorough chapte. Descriptions detailed and we are all in the picture pretty well of all that has happened ro=to Mac and probably the other girls. Well done. Very real! One spag. Oops! McKenzie's in the hospita(l).
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
|
This was a very thorough chapte. Descriptions detailed and we are all in the picture pretty well of all that has happened ro=to Mac and probably the other girls. Well done. Very real! One spag. Oops! McKenzie's in the hospita(l).
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review and the catch. It will be corrected ASAP
-
I see I spagged in my review ho hum.
Comment from BethShelby
It sounds as though so terrible things happened to Mac, but at least she is alive and will probably be all right. It seems like a lot has happened in 15 days. As always, I am anxious to read more of your interesting novel.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
|
It sounds as though so terrible things happened to Mac, but at least she is alive and will probably be all right. It seems like a lot has happened in 15 days. As always, I am anxious to read more of your interesting novel.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, that poor girl! If those men ever have to face Logan, I don't hold out any hope that they'd survive the first two minutes. How awful, Mac is so apposed to alcohol and to have it forced into you like that, goodness knows how she'll come through it. This was an excellent part, Barbara, thoroughly enjoyed reading it, even though it was awful. Why can't you use 'St Louis'? Although, having a title with 'puzzle' in it, sounds good. I'll have a think, as I'm sure many others will. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
The(n) Dr. Gray returned.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
|
Oh, that poor girl! If those men ever have to face Logan, I don't hold out any hope that they'd survive the first two minutes. How awful, Mac is so apposed to alcohol and to have it forced into you like that, goodness knows how she'll come through it. This was an excellent part, Barbara, thoroughly enjoyed reading it, even though it was awful. Why can't you use 'St Louis'? Although, having a title with 'puzzle' in it, sounds good. I'll have a think, as I'm sure many others will. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
The(n) Dr. Gray returned.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the catch. I just fixed it. It's so much easier for me to write the story than it is to name it. LOL
Comment from roof35
I am coming late to this story but I am hooked good. Guess I will have to check out your portfolio. It is very well written although a little tough to read because of the terrible things happening to the characters. Still you make want to read. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
|
I am coming late to this story but I am hooked good. Guess I will have to check out your portfolio. It is very well written although a little tough to read because of the terrible things happening to the characters. Still you make want to read. Nicely done.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review and the encouragement.
Comment from richie b
Barbara,
Your story has reached the point where the reader is
begging for answers. Everyone wants to know the
extent of Mac's injuries. Being a hostage to a human
trafficking group is chilling.
You have set up your story well and know the reader
will not let go. Your conversations lets the reader feel
they are in the scene.
Great writing, looking forward to more!
Peace,
Richie
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
|
Barbara,
Your story has reached the point where the reader is
begging for answers. Everyone wants to know the
extent of Mac's injuries. Being a hostage to a human
trafficking group is chilling.
You have set up your story well and know the reader
will not let go. Your conversations lets the reader feel
they are in the scene.
Great writing, looking forward to more!
Peace,
Richie
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review and the encouragement.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Congrats for early publication and for change in title; I like this chapter; good progression; nice work is going on; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
|
Congrats for early publication and for change in title; I like this chapter; good progression; nice work is going on; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
A very sell written chapter. You did a great job conveying Logan and Simon's worry for Mac.
notes:
Simon chewed on his lower lip. "I know I'm overstepping but I have a vested interest and need to check. Have you started an IV for hydration?"
- this line seems a bit odd. I would think Simon would know starting an IV would be standard procedure, and what would Simon have done if Gray said, no? Simon didn't examine her.
Logan nodded. "I plan to.["]
- add
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
|
A very sell written chapter. You did a great job conveying Logan and Simon's worry for Mac.
notes:
Simon chewed on his lower lip. "I know I'm overstepping but I have a vested interest and need to check. Have you started an IV for hydration?"
- this line seems a bit odd. I would think Simon would know starting an IV would be standard procedure, and what would Simon have done if Gray said, no? Simon didn't examine her.
Logan nodded. "I plan to.["]
- add
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Good point. I will recheck that area. That's one area I keep working on. Thank you.
Comment from Ulla
Awe, Barbara, Mackenzie is pretty much batched up.This is terrible and I feel so sorry for Logan. But he will be there for her, of that I'm sure. But I'm equally sure that his anger will soon flare.He'll want revenge. Great writing. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
|
Awe, Barbara, Mackenzie is pretty much batched up.This is terrible and I feel so sorry for Logan. But he will be there for her, of that I'm sure. But I'm equally sure that his anger will soon flare.He'll want revenge. Great writing. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for the kind review.
