Intersections
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Centrifugal Force"Stories of people at crossroads of their lives...
8 total reviews
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I enjoy reading this short story. You are a good short story writer. The argument rings true. You presented both sides of argument very well.
I do practice Yoga once or twice a week because I also run, bike, swim, ski and play tennis. I disagree with Bobby's view about women. Women have different varieties; some are good mothers and some are not. I didn't want to be a mother when I got married to my husband due to the childhood trauma. My husband wanted one kid and he turned to be a great child, a young man now. It was a great experience. I was never brought up to be a mother because my parents have a great plan for me: to be a success scientist. After studying physics in the best college in China, I decided that I didn't like physics. I wanted to be a writer or even a doctor. But I can't change major in China. It turns out that I'm a good engineer. What I really like is still writing. I will do it full time soon.
We probably will have the same argument about Elon Musk.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
  |
I enjoy reading this short story. You are a good short story writer. The argument rings true. You presented both sides of argument very well.
I do practice Yoga once or twice a week because I also run, bike, swim, ski and play tennis. I disagree with Bobby's view about women. Women have different varieties; some are good mothers and some are not. I didn't want to be a mother when I got married to my husband due to the childhood trauma. My husband wanted one kid and he turned to be a great child, a young man now. It was a great experience. I was never brought up to be a mother because my parents have a great plan for me: to be a success scientist. After studying physics in the best college in China, I decided that I didn't like physics. I wanted to be a writer or even a doctor. But I can't change major in China. It turns out that I'm a good engineer. What I really like is still writing. I will do it full time soon.
We probably will have the same argument about Elon Musk.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2020
-
Thanks so much for your excellent review on this short story. I don't know if it is one of my favorites in this collection. Probably one the least well written, but I wanted to illustrate something of the tension between men and women in today's world. The confrontational nature of it, sometimes. Well I am glad you decided to write because you have amazing talent. Writers are observers of the world, rather than partakers in it; they watch and listen and with their perspective on life and experience, they articulate this experience for the world to ponder. If you have this soul, then writing is a way of life. Your story about the secret was one of the best short stories I have read in a long time. Somewhere there is a publisher for it. estory
-
Thank yo so much. I do like writing, at least I can do it for myself and my friends at FanStory now. I'm working with an editor to get my second book out soon
-
Good luck with it. I hope to be reading some of it soon. I had a bbq Oktoberfest here with my sisters and dad. Nice fall weather down here now. I am working on a novel myself doing the final editing and next year I will have a new collection of short prose poetry pieces and new poetry. estory
Comment from Eugene Bales
Dear Estory, You have the current politically correct information and the rebuttal to it well captured.
However, you need to humanize these characters. In my experience, people don't converse in such stiff sentences. I suggest you get someone to read your work aloud to you with little expression. This is invaluable way to pick up clunkers.
Further, it's difficult to satirize those who self satirize.
Satire is difficult, and I admire your tackling it.
All best wishes, Eugene Bales
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
 |
Dear Estory, You have the current politically correct information and the rebuttal to it well captured.
However, you need to humanize these characters. In my experience, people don't converse in such stiff sentences. I suggest you get someone to read your work aloud to you with little expression. This is invaluable way to pick up clunkers.
Further, it's difficult to satirize those who self satirize.
Satire is difficult, and I admire your tackling it.
All best wishes, Eugene Bales
Comment Written 25-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020
-
Well I did say these characters were caricatures in my notes. They were designed to illustrate a theme. estory
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is an excellent look at the changing times in thinking.
I noticed one typo:
"but the way she wrinkled her nose you could (tell or see) she was displeased about something."
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
|
This is an excellent look at the changing times in thinking.
I noticed one typo:
"but the way she wrinkled her nose you could (tell or see) she was displeased about something."
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
-
Thanks for the excellent review and your comments supporting the story. I really wanted to create a sense of how prejudices and narrow opinions can destroy the really important things in all of us; especially love. estory
-
You did a great job.
Comment from sibhus
I don't thing you have been incendiary at all. I know so many people just like this, and they only seem to be interested in people that think just like they do. Shortly afterward they get bored with their clone and move on to the next. Really good story that portrays the modern age.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
|
I don't thing you have been incendiary at all. I know so many people just like this, and they only seem to be interested in people that think just like they do. Shortly afterward they get bored with their clone and move on to the next. Really good story that portrays the modern age.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
-
Thanks so much for the excellent review and your comments supporting the story. I think you got what I was trying to say here; narrow opinions, on either side of the spectrum, can sabotage the humanity in all of us. estory
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I like the story, you have truly stated in time we find changes in attitudes, stand and state of our living in terms of politics and other dimensions of living, particularly at one's young age appears a space for making daring challenges; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
 |
I like the story, you have truly stated in time we find changes in attitudes, stand and state of our living in terms of politics and other dimensions of living, particularly at one's young age appears a space for making daring challenges; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
-
Thanks again for the exceptional review and all your continued support for my work estory
Comment from Susan X Smith
The woman sounded like a real witch but I enjoyed the read although I suspect you would not like my politics. The story was at once humorous and serious.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
|
The woman sounded like a real witch but I enjoyed the read although I suspect you would not like my politics. The story was at once humorous and serious.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
-
Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the story. I wanted to create two polar opposite caricatures for this piece, to illustrate how narrow viewpoints and adherence to dogmas can undermine the really important part of our humanity; compassion, and love. Remember the last line of the story, the words of the waitress "What does politics have to do with love?"
Comment from Iza Deleanu
You definitely know how to put a spin in a story. And I knew from the first sentence that something"explosive" is going to happen. Congratulations on the excellent plot and good luck with your next story.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
|
You definitely know how to put a spin in a story. And I knew from the first sentence that something"explosive" is going to happen. Congratulations on the excellent plot and good luck with your next story.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
-
Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your support for the story. I'm glad that the tension was tight enough to keep readers engaged and I hope you enjoyed the story. I will do some more poetry for a bit and then post the next story in this collection probably in a month or two. The next one is one of my favorite all time stories and I think I created a wonderful heroine for it and I am curious to see how female readers react to her. I had to push myself quite far as an older male writer to create Chloe and her story of looking for a better life. Watch for American Pioneer coming soon. estory
-
You are so welcome:)
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is an interesting story in that everyone has expectations and what seems 'logical' to one person may be illogical and cruel to someone else. How interesting to choose two characters who are pretty much opposite in at least a dozen opinions. I caught a few little things that might be improved:
mysogenystic - should be misogynistic
There was a playful confidence in her blue eyes and she sounded smart.
I would put a comma after eyes.
Bobby asked her if she would have dinner with him in a restaurant downtown and she agreed.
I would put a comma after downtown.
There were a few more little places, but I bet other reviewers will catch them. Nice share. This reminds me that if writer's block ever hits, just try two people talking from opposite sides of the spectrum.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
|
This is an interesting story in that everyone has expectations and what seems 'logical' to one person may be illogical and cruel to someone else. How interesting to choose two characters who are pretty much opposite in at least a dozen opinions. I caught a few little things that might be improved:
mysogenystic - should be misogynistic
There was a playful confidence in her blue eyes and she sounded smart.
I would put a comma after eyes.
Bobby asked her if she would have dinner with him in a restaurant downtown and she agreed.
I would put a comma after downtown.
There were a few more little places, but I bet other reviewers will catch them. Nice share. This reminds me that if writer's block ever hits, just try two people talking from opposite sides of the spectrum.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2020
-
Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your interesting perspective on the story. I think you got exactly what I was trying to say here, and I needed to create these polar opposite caricatures to get my point across. But i'm glad it seems some people at least enjoyed the story. estory
