A friend in need
More willpower needed13 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Great job, Jen. I agree. The sugar addiction, Snickers or whatever is hard to kick. I think a lot of people will identify with this little dialogue only story. Marilyn
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2020
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Great job, Jen. I agree. The sugar addiction, Snickers or whatever is hard to kick. I think a lot of people will identify with this little dialogue only story. Marilyn
Comment Written 22-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2020
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Many thanks Marilyn.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry. You did a good job with the dialogue. I believe most will think it is something besides a 'chocolate fix'--I know I did. I like the way you led up to the end. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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I enjoyed your contest entry. You did a good job with the dialogue. I believe most will think it is something besides a 'chocolate fix'--I know I did. I like the way you led up to the end. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Many thanks. Jen.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jen, what a lovely little flash this is. There I thought she was a hard drug addictive and then all it was were the kitkats and other sweets. I love it. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Hi Jen, what a lovely little flash this is. There I thought she was a hard drug addictive and then all it was were the kitkats and other sweets. I love it. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Many thanks Ulla for the great review. So glad you like it. Hugs. Jen
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
A nice fun piece for the competition, although I'd guessed where it going pretty early on. Having a cup of tea was the worst thing. It's difficult to have tea without biscuits or sweet things! lol
Morning Julie, come in the door's open. - should probably have a comma after 'in'.
it's customary to have commas either side of a name when addressing the person.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Hi there,
A nice fun piece for the competition, although I'd guessed where it going pretty early on. Having a cup of tea was the worst thing. It's difficult to have tea without biscuits or sweet things! lol
Morning Julie, come in the door's open. - should probably have a comma after 'in'.
it's customary to have commas either side of a name when addressing the person.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for your comments and help. I have corrected it. Take care. Jen
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a great entry for the Dialogue Only Writing prompt. I thought the girl needed drugs, but it candy! It should to well in the contest. I wish you the bet of luck!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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This is a great entry for the Dialogue Only Writing prompt. I thought the girl needed drugs, but it candy! It should to well in the contest. I wish you the bet of luck!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Many thanks. Jen.
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You're welcome.
Comment from kahpot
Ha! Ha! chocolate withdrawal, very well done and very humorous, the lead up and descriptions are wonderful and the ending is great, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Ha! Ha! chocolate withdrawal, very well done and very humorous, the lead up and descriptions are wonderful and the ending is great, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for the great review. Jen
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Five stars for content and such a smile-provoking twist at the end. Julie sounds like she is definitely going through withdrawal. Guess many of us have been in that boat (for chocolate/sugar). I would suggest working on punctuation. I will point out the last part only as an idea:
Oh, well. All right, I'll get it, and I'll join you just this once--and then I'm throwing the stuff away so I won't be tempted again. Here, you have the Kit Kat, and I'll have the Snickers.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Five stars for content and such a smile-provoking twist at the end. Julie sounds like she is definitely going through withdrawal. Guess many of us have been in that boat (for chocolate/sugar). I would suggest working on punctuation. I will point out the last part only as an idea:
Oh, well. All right, I'll get it, and I'll join you just this once--and then I'm throwing the stuff away so I won't be tempted again. Here, you have the Kit Kat, and I'll have the Snickers.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for the great review. Jen.
Comment from emmaysavage
I thought your selection of art was very apt.I enjoyed how you told your story in dialog. It has a great description of withdrawal experience and I liked the twist at the end.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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I thought your selection of art was very apt.I enjoyed how you told your story in dialog. It has a great description of withdrawal experience and I liked the twist at the end.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Many thanks. Jen.
Comment from Joann Alexander
This short story had me going. I was certain it was about drugs. Instead it was about giving up sugar! It made me laugh and wonder how long I could go without eating something sweet.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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This short story had me going. I was certain it was about drugs. Instead it was about giving up sugar! It made me laugh and wonder how long I could go without eating something sweet.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for the review. Jen.
Comment from papa55mike
Giving up chocolate was the greatest challenge of my life so far. Here's a hint, they make chocolate covered cereal bars with half the sugar. What a wonderfully written story.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Giving up chocolate was the greatest challenge of my life so far. Here's a hint, they make chocolate covered cereal bars with half the sugar. What a wonderfully written story.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much Mike for your great review. Jen.
