The Family Next Door
A child's lament39 total reviews
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Oh, this one gripped my heart. Your poem is skillfully and creatively composed--and SO vividly descriptive of the gulf between the haves and the have-nots!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Oh, this one gripped my heart. Your poem is skillfully and creatively composed--and SO vividly descriptive of the gulf between the haves and the have-nots!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Janice, you written from my own moccasins
Comment from harmony13
The author's words were interesting, descriptive, and creative. I pondered
on the theme and words of this poem. I think the author's words were sad. The poem was heartfelt. Childhood memories can surface strong emotions. The artwork is perfect and compliments this poem.
Hope you are having a great day!
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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The author's words were interesting, descriptive, and creative. I pondered
on the theme and words of this poem. I think the author's words were sad. The poem was heartfelt. Childhood memories can surface strong emotions. The artwork is perfect and compliments this poem.
Hope you are having a great day!
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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harmony13, thank you!
Comment from Bobby Cunningham
This is a very nice story and one that is definitely relatable to me. I had to read it again to notice the rhyming. I think that that's what makes this poem so unique the rhyming is so subtle, but so obviously there. You have a special talent that allowed you to achieve that. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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This is a very nice story and one that is definitely relatable to me. I had to read it again to notice the rhyming. I think that that's what makes this poem so unique the rhyming is so subtle, but so obviously there. You have a special talent that allowed you to achieve that. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Bollie13, Thank you for this noticeable effort I made.
Comment from Earl Corp
I hope this isn't autobiographical, this would have been a poor childhood yo have to endure. But even the best of homes have skeletons in the closet. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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I hope this isn't autobiographical, this would have been a poor childhood yo have to endure. But even the best of homes have skeletons in the closet. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Earl it is, and frankly I would not turn the clock back to change one day. I learned alot about how not to do it.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I like this poem very much for two main reasons. I find the techicity of the rhyme over tgree lines unusual. But above all I like the comparison between the organized rich meal, and the disorganized, poor apology for the same. The description
a well-used reassigned
card table, with a bent leg, propped
with a book with a broken spine
is phenomenal.
I am confused as to why you chose to describe it as a child's lament.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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I like this poem very much for two main reasons. I find the techicity of the rhyme over tgree lines unusual. But above all I like the comparison between the organized rich meal, and the disorganized, poor apology for the same. The description
a well-used reassigned
card table, with a bent leg, propped
with a book with a broken spine
is phenomenal.
I am confused as to why you chose to describe it as a child's lament.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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My life experience
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about looking at the neighbors with tables loaded with food every day it seems that they may have a perfect life, but i wonder sometimes how much of that food are actually got eaten, sometimes it is just too much.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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A very well-written poem about looking at the neighbors with tables loaded with food every day it seems that they may have a perfect life, but i wonder sometimes how much of that food are actually got eaten, sometimes it is just too much.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Sandra thank you, I appreciate your review:
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I presume this is how it looks, the life across the lines, wealthy family on one hand and poor on the other, with an abusing father to complete the picture. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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I presume this is how it looks, the life across the lines, wealthy family on one hand and poor on the other, with an abusing father to complete the picture. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Thanks for your review.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks in your childhood days how you lamented for food, nothing was same about food, food taking services between your neighbour next door and your family; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thanks for sharing this; keep writing. Wish good luck in the contest. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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This speaks in your childhood days how you lamented for food, nothing was same about food, food taking services between your neighbour next door and your family; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thanks for sharing this; keep writing. Wish good luck in the contest. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Thanks friend!
Comment from roof35
Oh, this is very nicely done. I could feel the sadness this child had in a poor and dysfunctional family. Your picture, of course, paired perfectly with your words. You told the story well and rhymed it, too. Excellent job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Oh, this is very nicely done. I could feel the sadness this child had in a poor and dysfunctional family. Your picture, of course, paired perfectly with your words. You told the story well and rhymed it, too. Excellent job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2020
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Thank you!
