The Family Next Door
A child's lament39 total reviews
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello,
I pray all is well in your life. Your imagery of the food is so inviting and looks delicious. This is a well written childhood story of two different families. A child looks back into her childhood at the neighbor's dinner table of a full table of scrumptious food. in beautiful china. Then, looks at her/his own under nourish dinner card table which was broken and wonders, why isn't the next door neighbors table hers/his table. He/she also sees their crack dishes, and wonders why don't they have beautiful china. This happens like this all over the world in many homes. The Haves and the Have Nots! This poem is nicely written. Nice rhyming of your words. Happy writing:-)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Hello,
I pray all is well in your life. Your imagery of the food is so inviting and looks delicious. This is a well written childhood story of two different families. A child looks back into her childhood at the neighbor's dinner table of a full table of scrumptious food. in beautiful china. Then, looks at her/his own under nourish dinner card table which was broken and wonders, why isn't the next door neighbors table hers/his table. He/she also sees their crack dishes, and wonders why don't they have beautiful china. This happens like this all over the world in many homes. The Haves and the Have Nots! This poem is nicely written. Nice rhyming of your words. Happy writing:-)
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Joyce, thank you! If we could just all take the opportunity to talk about life, wouldn't we all learn more Grace and Acceptance?
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Amen. Being a friend starts with a conversation. Blessings to you.
Comment from Mia Twysted
As a child is when you see more of the differences between your family and other families. I feel wanting from this piece. A wanting to have what looks so good from the other side of the street.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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As a child is when you see more of the differences between your family and other families. I feel wanting from this piece. A wanting to have what looks so good from the other side of the street.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Mia thank you!
Comment from Jacob David Collins
I enjoyed reading this. Other people always do seem to live more exciting lives than we do, the truth is, they may be thinking the same about us as well. I thought this was well written and your writing flowed well. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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I enjoyed reading this. Other people always do seem to live more exciting lives than we do, the truth is, they may be thinking the same about us as well. I thought this was well written and your writing flowed well. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Jacob, I do appreciate your review, comments and good wishes!
Comment from Roberta Lawrinsky
hi--
This poem captures a child's view, perhaps at the age of seven or eight or so, when a child notices differences in his/her family & other families.
Childhood yields many insights.
suggestions:
Where exactly you are situated?: looking out a window of your house over to the other house?
why not tell the reader you're at a window?
rather than saying you're 'unseen'
You must be only two or three feet away, for you to
be able to see all that food.
so much food, you thought the table 'unstable'?
do you mean you thought the table would break or fall or collapse from the sheer weight of all that food?
sounds as if you wanted an easy rhyme with table
the image of your family's card table/dining table with propped up leg is quite poignant
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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hi--
This poem captures a child's view, perhaps at the age of seven or eight or so, when a child notices differences in his/her family & other families.
Childhood yields many insights.
suggestions:
Where exactly you are situated?: looking out a window of your house over to the other house?
why not tell the reader you're at a window?
rather than saying you're 'unseen'
You must be only two or three feet away, for you to
be able to see all that food.
so much food, you thought the table 'unstable'?
do you mean you thought the table would break or fall or collapse from the sheer weight of all that food?
sounds as if you wanted an easy rhyme with table
the image of your family's card table/dining table with propped up leg is quite poignant
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2020
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Roberta, all very good questions because it caused you to think!
not being seen is a metaphor of the the child's' perspective of not being seen at home or beyond.
The volume of food, to this child, was shocking as this child never had a meal that required more than one bowl served on a weak and wobbly table.
Comment from Janet Foor
A sad and somber poem for the contest. Unfortunately, many children grow up in less than ideal circumstances.
Your childhood poem is well written.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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A sad and somber poem for the contest. Unfortunately, many children grow up in less than ideal circumstances.
Your childhood poem is well written.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Janet, I appreciate your review comments .
Comment from Sally Law
I grew up raised predominantly by my single mother. I can certainly relate to this. Although our home was modest, it seemed more special than my richest friends. Love made the difference, I think.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the contest,
Sally xo
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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I grew up raised predominantly by my single mother. I can certainly relate to this. Although our home was modest, it seemed more special than my richest friends. Love made the difference, I think.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the contest,
Sally xo
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Sally, I am sure, like me, there is very little that you would want to change or rewrite...I find this current trend to rewrite history so blatantly wrong...how will we ever learn from the past if all is written with a participation trophy mentality? Loving virtual hug!
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Me too, my kindred friend. Five names come to mind but I'll have to wait and see who our are. Blessings for the contest!!
Sal xoxo
Comment from A. Louise Robertson
This poem touches the heart. Picturing the child looking in the neighbor's window with longing I was reminded of times in my own life when we "made do" with what we had. This is a difficult circumstance to forget when a child grows up. Hopefully, it makes them grateful for all they might acquire later in their lives, rather than disdainful of those who have more.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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This poem touches the heart. Picturing the child looking in the neighbor's window with longing I was reminded of times in my own life when we "made do" with what we had. This is a difficult circumstance to forget when a child grows up. Hopefully, it makes them grateful for all they might acquire later in their lives, rather than disdainful of those who have more.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Louise, it was and it did.
Comment from zanya
Yes a sadness pervades the childhood memories here as seen through the eyes of a child -in a very practical way the child is acutely aware of family differences - well portrayed
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Yes a sadness pervades the childhood memories here as seen through the eyes of a child -in a very practical way the child is acutely aware of family differences - well portrayed
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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zanya, thanks for your words.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"The Family Next Door", is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece. This talented poet's work was enlightening to both read and review. Comparisons are odious. Nothing has changed since this saying was first used. Sadly, I've run out of sixes. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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"The Family Next Door", is an extremely well-written and heart-wrenching piece. This talented poet's work was enlightening to both read and review. Comparisons are odious. Nothing has changed since this saying was first used. Sadly, I've run out of sixes. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
Duchess, thank you
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Dear Anon,
you're more than welcome.
God bless, take care and keep sharing,
the Duchess
Comment from Margaret Bednar
"the last time he did flip" says a lot about the situation in the child's house. The comparison to next door is heart-wrenching. The fourth stanza just brings home the differences - what wonderful writing.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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"the last time he did flip" says a lot about the situation in the child's house. The comparison to next door is heart-wrenching. The fourth stanza just brings home the differences - what wonderful writing.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Margaret, thank you, the view from my childhood window,
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It?s non fiction. Even more of a dear poem.
