Comment from Mistydawn

Exceptional

Wow, what an intense chapter. It's very well-written, intriguing start to finish. You had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. Your description is perfect, I could easily picture it in my mind. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020

Wow! Thank you, Mistydawn! :)

I had to rewrite this, and was hoping it sounded okay. Fight scenes have always been a challenge for me. After time, it gets easier. I'm so thrilled you enjoyed!

Thanks so much for your wonderful review!
Hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from ngage

Excellent

Another riveting chapter, Ms Shana! Great special effect descriptions. It was like watching it all play out on a movie screen inside my head. I'm interested in finding out about these hybrids.
They sound dangerous for the Breedline.

Keep them coming!

Nate

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020

Thank you, Nate :)

So glad you liked the fight scenes. It is a challenge to write sometimes. Yes, the hybrid's are going to be hard to battle.

Thanks again for your great encouraging words my friend!
Hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from Roberta Lawrinsky

Good

dear author,
I'm reading a sustained story here about a complex battle & all the elements & descriptions are miraculously kept straight & best of all-- the concept of transformation is given its due through careful, detailed description!
Suggestions:
weakness NOT weaknesses (beginning)
a hissing noise came from beyond COMMA catching Tim's attention
although they had taken out many hybrids NOT had took out
thanks for the interesting read.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020

Thanks Roberta :)

I appreciate your helpful tips. This is why I post here. It sure does help me.

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

Being fully conversant with your art and style of expression and characterization, I like this chapter on blood and war, enjoyed the supernatural taletelling, catchy beginning and good curious ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020

Thanks so much, Alcreator :)

Glad you enjoyed another chapter. The battle scenes can be challenging at times and hopefully they will keep getting easier. Hope to hear back from you my friend!

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from Marjon van Bruggen

Excellent

There is a lot of noise going on, as well as rivers of blood flowing, necks snapping, and howls heard in this unheard-of fight between the hybrids and the wolf and panther. Wow! And I don't know if the fight is over yet.
There is a lot going on here, the reader hardly gets time to breathe.

Only one thing:
In the beginning of this chapter,
...that's their weakness(es) I don't think it is plural.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020

Thank you so much! :)

You have caught something I looked over. This is why I love this site. Everyone is so helpful. Bless you!

Sincerely,
Shana :)

reply by Marjon van Bruggen on 17-Jun-2020

You are welcome!

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Breedline and Hybrids, clash of Titans in this eternal fight for surviving for keeping your line and secret. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020

Thank you, Iza :)

I appreciate your words of encouragement. FanStory has been so helpful for me. I hope to hear from you again!

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from royowen

Exceptional

I think I like this new way of writing, although I know you're just keeping up your writing, I know when I sweat off on my writing, and come back, I do improve the writing, with God's help, He's the giver of the gift after all. You're still the best writer of action scenes ever, as you've done here. I think you've done the right thing by rewriting these episodes, well done Shana, amazing episode, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020

Thank you, Roy :)

I agree with you. Going back after time, you see all the changes that need to be made. I'm so glad you approve. Your opinion is important to me. I do think my battle scenes are improving.

Thanks again my friend!
Always your fan,
Shana :)

reply by royowen on 17-Jun-2020

You?re doing a great job

Comment from fm wright

Exceptional

Definitely a battle to remember. Each scene was filled with action, as well as crisp and distinctive words unveiling the outcome, while the thoughts of each character was brought to light. Truly a pleasure to read.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020

Thank you, Faye :)

I appreciate your kind review. As I go back and review my writing, I see lots of changes that need to be made. I'm so glad I am improving. You and many others have helped me get there. Everyone here is a blessing.

Thanks again and stay safe!
Shana :)

reply by fm wright on 17-Jun-2020

You are so welcome. You stay safe as well.
Faye :)