St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "St. Louis Chapter 29 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
21 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
I loved the Special Forces prayer as I had a brother who was a Green Beret. This added feature made this particular chapter stand out for me and I came back with a six for your efforts.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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I loved the Special Forces prayer as I had a brother who was a Green Beret. This added feature made this particular chapter stand out for me and I came back with a six for your efforts.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xoxo
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Thank you. I am so sorry you had to read this when it didn't have any money attached. In a little while I'll post today's post.
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I'm behind due to many things going on. It's not you and please don't apologize for my tardiness is to blame. Loved it! Sal xoxoxoxo
Comment from w.j.debi
There is a lot of emotion going on between the characters. I feel a connection with the characters even after reading only two chapters--that includes the dogs, too.
This would make a great movie. It puts the reader on the edge of the seat, breathless to see what happens next.
Your question about the prayer--Definitely include the prayer. I got choked up reading it. I had no idea special forces had a prayer and it just made that part of the story even more poignant. If you just mentioned it in passing it wouldn't mean as much.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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There is a lot of emotion going on between the characters. I feel a connection with the characters even after reading only two chapters--that includes the dogs, too.
This would make a great movie. It puts the reader on the edge of the seat, breathless to see what happens next.
Your question about the prayer--Definitely include the prayer. I got choked up reading it. I had no idea special forces had a prayer and it just made that part of the story even more poignant. If you just mentioned it in passing it wouldn't mean as much.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Barbara.wilkey,
Nice piece of General Fiction having impressive phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme, particularly planning for Mac's Extraction which is going to be executed as an 'Extraction Mission'.
Description of the strategy and PRAYER are particularly noteworthy. No doubt, it makes a reader look forward to know about the next episodes.
Interesting, Indeed!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2020
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Hello Barbara.wilkey,
Nice piece of General Fiction having impressive phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme, particularly planning for Mac's Extraction which is going to be executed as an 'Extraction Mission'.
Description of the strategy and PRAYER are particularly noteworthy. No doubt, it makes a reader look forward to know about the next episodes.
Interesting, Indeed!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Barbara.Wilkey, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from richie b
Barbara,
I see nothing wrong with including the Special
Forces prayer. Vets would appreciate it and the
reader would learn something.
Your story is precise and moves well. Your dialogue
includes all your characters and keeps the reader
following the plan of action concerning Mac's
kidnapping.
Your story is building suspense and keeps the
reader interested. You are a fine writer.
Peace,
Richie b
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2020
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Barbara,
I see nothing wrong with including the Special
Forces prayer. Vets would appreciate it and the
reader would learn something.
Your story is precise and moves well. Your dialogue
includes all your characters and keeps the reader
following the plan of action concerning Mac's
kidnapping.
Your story is building suspense and keeps the
reader interested. You are a fine writer.
Peace,
Richie b
Comment Written 09-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ben Colder
I let all my six get away before reading your work. Forgive. The write is lengthy and at times I drifted but you have such talent I have less problems picking back up. The prayer, I think it is ok but in total, I think just a mention would do fine however, it is your story.
I always support your work. Hate it I ran out of six.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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I let all my six get away before reading your work. Forgive. The write is lengthy and at times I drifted but you have such talent I have less problems picking back up. The prayer, I think it is ok but in total, I think just a mention would do fine however, it is your story.
I always support your work. Hate it I ran out of six.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review and please don't worry about the six.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Another wonderful chapter! I would include the prayer.
Just a though on the prayer: Shouldn't all the The be Thy in this section?
"GRANT US WISDOM FROM THE (THY) MIND, COURAGE FROM THE (THY) HEART, STRENGTH FROM THE (THY) ARM, AND PROTECTION BY THE (THY) HAND.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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Another wonderful chapter! I would include the prayer.
Just a though on the prayer: Shouldn't all the The be Thy in this section?
"GRANT US WISDOM FROM THE (THY) MIND, COURAGE FROM THE (THY) HEART, STRENGTH FROM THE (THY) ARM, AND PROTECTION BY THE (THY) HAND.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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I copied it, cut and pasted, exactly as it was written. HMMM. very interesting. I will go back and recheck. Thank you for the kind review.
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That prayer section just did not sound right somehow. It was probably just a misprint.
Comment from royowen
Considering the prayer, I don't really have an opinion, merely something I can do. As a young Christian I was taught God listens to the echoes of the heart, more than the words of one's mouth, elegant or otherwise, I've always prayed spontaneously, as do my contemporaries. As long it's by faith. It's a comfort thing, beautiful prayer though, I'm not bothered, I'm sure others would be the same. Beautifully written, well expressed my friend, beautifully written, blessings, Roy
Typo : (are) we all in agreement?
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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Considering the prayer, I don't really have an opinion, merely something I can do. As a young Christian I was taught God listens to the echoes of the heart, more than the words of one's mouth, elegant or otherwise, I've always prayed spontaneously, as do my contemporaries. As long it's by faith. It's a comfort thing, beautiful prayer though, I'm not bothered, I'm sure others would be the same. Beautifully written, well expressed my friend, beautifully written, blessings, Roy
Typo : (are) we all in agreement?
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2020
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All but a few seem to like the prayer. I haven't completely decided it. It may depend on the editor. Thank you for the kind review.
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Well done
Comment from lancellot
I liked their plan. You did a great job adding enough plausible steps and suggestions that characters seem to be making a function plan. The realism draws the reader in. And the prayer, was an excellent thought
Great work.
The men nodded, but Trey teased, "Sure glad we didn't have to wear this while [on] active duty."
- Does it sound more natural with this word?
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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I liked their plan. You did a great job adding enough plausible steps and suggestions that characters seem to be making a function plan. The realism draws the reader in. And the prayer, was an excellent thought
Great work.
The men nodded, but Trey teased, "Sure glad we didn't have to wear this while [on] active duty."
- Does it sound more natural with this word?
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Enough people have mentioned that word that I must be wrong. I read it without the word, but I am now adding it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent chapter once again. Always on key! Prayer is good for inclusion seeing it sounds genuine. You have some FS crap in the author notes. Just one miss I think. to wear this while (on)active duty."
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Excellent chapter once again. Always on key! Prayer is good for inclusion seeing it sounds genuine. You have some FS crap in the author notes. Just one miss I think. to wear this while (on)active duty."
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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Thank you for the kind review. There's nothing I can do about the FS crap.
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Nah I know that about FS crap just letting you know.
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LOL
Comment from Gert sherwood
I know one thing that I liked in chapter in the book St. Louis Chapter 29 part 2 is the prayer I believe should be included, but shorten to say,-----
ALMIGHTY GOD, WHO IS THE AUTHOR OF
LIBERTY AND THE CHAMPION OF THE
OPPRESSED, HEAR OUR PRAYER.
WE, THE MEN OF SPECIAL FORCES,
ACKNOWLEDGE OUR DEPENDENCE UPON THEE
IN THE PRESERVATION OF HUMAN FREEDOM.
GO WITH US AS WE SEEK TO DEFEND THE
DEFENSELESS AND TO FREE THE ENSLAVED.
MAY WE EVER REMEMBER OUR NATION, WHOSE
MOTTO IS "IN GOD WE TRUST," EXPECTS THAT
WE SHALL ACQUIT OURSELVES WITH HONOR,
THAT WE MAY NEVER BRING SHAME UPON OUR
FAITH, OUR FAMILIES, OUR FELLOW MEN.
((GRANT US WISDOM FROM THE MIND, COURAGE
FROM THE HEART, STRENGTH FROM THE
ARM, AND PROTECTION BY THE HAND.)))
Barb what does this mean ---?
((((STRENGTH FROM THE
ARM, AND PROTECTION BY THE HAND)))
Gert
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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I know one thing that I liked in chapter in the book St. Louis Chapter 29 part 2 is the prayer I believe should be included, but shorten to say,-----
ALMIGHTY GOD, WHO IS THE AUTHOR OF
LIBERTY AND THE CHAMPION OF THE
OPPRESSED, HEAR OUR PRAYER.
WE, THE MEN OF SPECIAL FORCES,
ACKNOWLEDGE OUR DEPENDENCE UPON THEE
IN THE PRESERVATION OF HUMAN FREEDOM.
GO WITH US AS WE SEEK TO DEFEND THE
DEFENSELESS AND TO FREE THE ENSLAVED.
MAY WE EVER REMEMBER OUR NATION, WHOSE
MOTTO IS "IN GOD WE TRUST," EXPECTS THAT
WE SHALL ACQUIT OURSELVES WITH HONOR,
THAT WE MAY NEVER BRING SHAME UPON OUR
FAITH, OUR FAMILIES, OUR FELLOW MEN.
((GRANT US WISDOM FROM THE MIND, COURAGE
FROM THE HEART, STRENGTH FROM THE
ARM, AND PROTECTION BY THE HAND.)))
Barb what does this mean ---?
((((STRENGTH FROM THE
ARM, AND PROTECTION BY THE HAND)))
Gert
Comment Written 07-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2020
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This is the actual prayer. I believe either it all stays in as originally written or the entire prayer is taken out. Since it is Special Forces prayer, I don't want to mess with it. Thank you for the kind review.
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Well knowing it's the actual prayer, I would say definitely yes keep it in your story
And someway in your chapter that the prayer is an original prayer.
Gert
Gert
