Scene 8 -St. Paul Island 1942
Scene from The Spirit Basket6 total reviews
Comment from irishauthorme
Amazing account from WWII, I had no idea that these people were deported to what the US Army deemed was a safe refuge from a purported Japanese invasion. I can only imagine, from your narrative, the hardships they endured and the heartbreak of returning to their ruined homes with many of their prized, family possessions gone.
I see the Japs invaded the Aleutian Islands of Kiska and Attu and held them for almost a year, before being reclaimed by Canadian and US forces, what are called the "Forgotten Battles."
I am glad you are reminding us of this episode during WWII, so much has been forgotten.
irish
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Amazing account from WWII, I had no idea that these people were deported to what the US Army deemed was a safe refuge from a purported Japanese invasion. I can only imagine, from your narrative, the hardships they endured and the heartbreak of returning to their ruined homes with many of their prized, family possessions gone.
I see the Japs invaded the Aleutian Islands of Kiska and Attu and held them for almost a year, before being reclaimed by Canadian and US forces, what are called the "Forgotten Battles."
I am glad you are reminding us of this episode during WWII, so much has been forgotten.
irish
Comment Written 06-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2020
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Thank you so much for reading this in an appreciative way. When I retired from the UA Museum, I thought stories about the highlights shown there make interesting stories for teenage readers. I appreciate your comments!
Comment from Aiona
I can tell this is an adaptation of a book because some parts, such as the whole paragraph describing the passage to Admiralty Island is what they would call "not filmable." It reads like a novel.
Which is not to say it isn't very interesting and very good! It's just.... not quite yet in script form.
Maybe one way to make it script-like would be to put
CHYRON or SUPER to make it a paragraph that is a subtitle. But, that's the easy way out. The better way would be to somehow make it a script, and not just exposition, in novel-form. The advantage of a script for TV or film or even webseries is that the story is told with PICTURES. So things in the script need to be filmable. Telling a story only with what one sees. The audience is not omniscient. So one doesn't have the luxury, as in a novel, of simply explaining what characters are thinking or feeling. It has to be shown visibly.
There are a lot of gems in this section though.
Example:
INT. NATASHA'S SMALL BEDROOM -MORNING
Natasha wraps dresses, sweater and hairbrush in towels. Puts all in the basket. Then she arranges her Shirley Temple doll on her bed, closing its eyes.
NATASHA
Go to sleep Shirley Temple, I will be home for you soon.
KEEP THIS SCENE!
It is very emotional. You don't need to say "Natasha is sad." The visuals of the scene already tell us that.
That is what script-writing is all about.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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I can tell this is an adaptation of a book because some parts, such as the whole paragraph describing the passage to Admiralty Island is what they would call "not filmable." It reads like a novel.
Which is not to say it isn't very interesting and very good! It's just.... not quite yet in script form.
Maybe one way to make it script-like would be to put
CHYRON or SUPER to make it a paragraph that is a subtitle. But, that's the easy way out. The better way would be to somehow make it a script, and not just exposition, in novel-form. The advantage of a script for TV or film or even webseries is that the story is told with PICTURES. So things in the script need to be filmable. Telling a story only with what one sees. The audience is not omniscient. So one doesn't have the luxury, as in a novel, of simply explaining what characters are thinking or feeling. It has to be shown visibly.
There are a lot of gems in this section though.
Example:
INT. NATASHA'S SMALL BEDROOM -MORNING
Natasha wraps dresses, sweater and hairbrush in towels. Puts all in the basket. Then she arranges her Shirley Temple doll on her bed, closing its eyes.
NATASHA
Go to sleep Shirley Temple, I will be home for you soon.
KEEP THIS SCENE!
It is very emotional. You don't need to say "Natasha is sad." The visuals of the scene already tell us that.
That is what script-writing is all about.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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You have given me inspiration to look again at all the scenes and make more attempts to improve. I very much appreciate your advice. Many thanks.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
It may be fairly large, but I like and have enjoyed the 8th scene of the script, a chapter of your book, portrays THE St. Paul Island; with vivid descriptions in a point; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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It may be fairly large, but I like and have enjoyed the 8th scene of the script, a chapter of your book, portrays THE St. Paul Island; with vivid descriptions in a point; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this; keep writing. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 03-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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I very much appreciate your comments. Thank you for reading through this scene.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Alaskastory, your story is developing into quite an epic tale. This chapter about the war years I found most interesting.
I had a question about the way you have the native people speak in such a way? ( it almost sounds like a 1950s western movie where the Indians were all depicted speaking in the same stilted style ) Did they all really do this?
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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Dear Alaskastory, your story is developing into quite an epic tale. This chapter about the war years I found most interesting.
I had a question about the way you have the native people speak in such a way? ( it almost sounds like a 1950s western movie where the Indians were all depicted speaking in the same stilted style ) Did they all really do this?
Comment Written 03-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2020
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I have had AK native friends over the past 60 years. Those raised in villages do pronounce slightly differently. Thanks for noticing that and for reading through this scene.
Comment from Lucy de Welles
I'm still seeing that Jared and Professor talk like text books. ALL the other dialogue is natural. It's just these two. Mostly Jared.
A 15 y.o. wouldn't talk like he is talking here.
Maybe something like:
Jared:
Yeah..after all those years on the fishing boats...he finally
decided to stay on St. Paul Island. He married Lukenia and they had two daughters named Natasha and Alice. Lukenia was Russian too.
Jared:
(holding up emblem)
Japan made my family go to the war. Lukenia hated it when Ivan went. He got this emblem as an award for going to war and was so proud of it. Lukenia refused to sew it onto his shirt.
Something more 15 year oldish.
I don't know how you do it. But when you revert to 1942, the conversation just opens up, loosens up and flows naturally.
Anyway, this is shaping up nicely.
Well done!
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
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I'm still seeing that Jared and Professor talk like text books. ALL the other dialogue is natural. It's just these two. Mostly Jared.
A 15 y.o. wouldn't talk like he is talking here.
Maybe something like:
Jared:
Yeah..after all those years on the fishing boats...he finally
decided to stay on St. Paul Island. He married Lukenia and they had two daughters named Natasha and Alice. Lukenia was Russian too.
Jared:
(holding up emblem)
Japan made my family go to the war. Lukenia hated it when Ivan went. He got this emblem as an award for going to war and was so proud of it. Lukenia refused to sew it onto his shirt.
Something more 15 year oldish.
I don't know how you do it. But when you revert to 1942, the conversation just opens up, loosens up and flows naturally.
Anyway, this is shaping up nicely.
Well done!
Comment Written 02-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for giving me good hits about Jared again. I shall give it another try. I am so glad you enjoyed the 1942 episode. It's good to hear from you.
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I love the idea of taking a historical novel and writing the script for it. Do you have someone interested in producing it? I shall have to look up the book. (I write historical fiction myself)
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
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I love the idea of taking a historical novel and writing the script for it. Do you have someone interested in producing it? I shall have to look up the book. (I write historical fiction myself)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2020
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No producers in mind. I keep thinking of it for group readers to get kids deeply interested in historical events. Thanks for reading.
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I like that idea, and with numerous parts to get people involved
