The Warning
A Pantoum46 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A
The Warning
by tfawcus
Hello, Tony,
I wonder if your beautiful Pantoum is about George Floyd. It has a great sound rhthm with the repeating lines. Great job my friend.
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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A
The Warning
by tfawcus
Hello, Tony,
I wonder if your beautiful Pantoum is about George Floyd. It has a great sound rhthm with the repeating lines. Great job my friend.
Comment Written 30-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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Thanks, Gypsy. Yes, it is about George Floyd. I've now added a note to that effect. Glad you enjoyed the rhythm.
Comment from Anne-Marie brison
Wow!!!!! It is really so very good and beautiful, it's really good and creepy!!!!!! Great job!!!! Keep writing!!!!!
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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Wow!!!!! It is really so very good and beautiful, it's really good and creepy!!!!!! Great job!!!! Keep writing!!!!!
Comment Written 30-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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Thank you for your review and encouragement, Anne-Marie.
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You're welcome
Comment from January L'Angelle
This Pantoum (which is new to me) is very nicely written. I love the way this sounds. I read it aloud and it rolled right off my tongue. It was a bit eerie to read, but I did like the poem's story. What could a person do that death cannot forgive their crime? I suppose if you do not ask for forgiveness, then you will not be forgiven. This poem is quite thought provoking. I like it. -January L.
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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This Pantoum (which is new to me) is very nicely written. I love the way this sounds. I read it aloud and it rolled right off my tongue. It was a bit eerie to read, but I did like the poem's story. What could a person do that death cannot forgive their crime? I suppose if you do not ask for forgiveness, then you will not be forgiven. This poem is quite thought provoking. I like it. -January L.
Comment Written 30-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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I'm sorry, January. I released an earlier draft of this poem accidentally. It has now been substantially edited and re-released.
Thank you for your kind words about this earlier version.
Comment from royowen
I thought I recognised the process but you certainly re arranged the bones, and I couldn't have put it better how man's demise outside of redemption could be put, I've been hearing a lot of stories of conversions at this time from evangelical groups recently. Well done, this is brilliant Tony, I'll tackle one of these shortly. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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I thought I recognised the process but you certainly re arranged the bones, and I couldn't have put it better how man's demise outside of redemption could be put, I've been hearing a lot of stories of conversions at this time from evangelical groups recently. Well done, this is brilliant Tony, I'll tackle one of these shortly. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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I'm sorry, Roy. I released an earlier draft of this poem accidentally. It has now been substantially edited and re-released.
Thank you for your kind words about this earlier version.
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Hah hah, still pretty good, give this a name and you?ll be a genius Tony,
Comment from CHANYA MASHENGU
The writer is talking about his body after death. he likens the decomposition of his bones to the sins he committed while still living.
He gives instructions on how they should be handled.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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The writer is talking about his body after death. he likens the decomposition of his bones to the sins he committed while still living.
He gives instructions on how they should be handled.
Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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I'm sorry, Chanya. I released an earlier draft of this poem accidentally. It has now been substantially edited and re-released.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from lyenochka
Lately, I'm reading some really dark poems. I think Dean has been acting as muse lately.
Your pantoum reads beautifully as well as eerily and yet there's a bit of humor in "tread gently on my bones tonight" and that I should have pity for the worms!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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Lately, I'm reading some really dark poems. I think Dean has been acting as muse lately.
Your pantoum reads beautifully as well as eerily and yet there's a bit of humor in "tread gently on my bones tonight" and that I should have pity for the worms!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-May-2020
reply by the author on 30-May-2020
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I'm sorry, Helen. I released an earlier draft of this poem accidentally. It has now been substantially edited and re-released.
Thank you for your kind words about this earlier version.
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Oh, your changes give it a very different feel - simply swapping "Kneel" for "tread" was a big change but the drama was taken to new levels!
