When Eagles Soar
A Triolet36 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
When Eagles Soar
by tfawcus
Hello, Tony,
Beautiful Triolet, my friend. I love this poetic form... it's very melodic with the repeating lines and meter. Poor little prey it's about to become eagle dinner. Well done my friend.
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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When Eagles Soar
by tfawcus
Hello, Tony,
Beautiful Triolet, my friend. I love this poetic form... it's very melodic with the repeating lines and meter. Poor little prey it's about to become eagle dinner. Well done my friend.
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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Thanks for the lovely comments about my Triolet. As you say, the poor rabbit is probably no longer with us. It pays to be higher up the food chain.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
The eagle is truly a majestic creature. Your vivid description is skillfully and creatively written, and your repeat lines are well-chosen. Effective
use of alliteration
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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The eagle is truly a majestic creature. Your vivid description is skillfully and creatively written, and your repeat lines are well-chosen. Effective
use of alliteration
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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Thank you for your affirming comments about the structure of my poem, the alliteration and my choice of repeating lines. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Margaret Bednar
I'm sure all those rabbits, mice, and more live i dread of such a shadow. Makes me think of standing beneath all the military aircraft at Wright Patterson AFB in Ohio when they would have air shows. The B1 Bomber - I think it is the one that could hover, its power its shadow upon the ground- was frightening. This poem makes me remember that.
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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I'm sure all those rabbits, mice, and more live i dread of such a shadow. Makes me think of standing beneath all the military aircraft at Wright Patterson AFB in Ohio when they would have air shows. The B1 Bomber - I think it is the one that could hover, its power its shadow upon the ground- was frightening. This poem makes me remember that.
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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I remember the black B52s standing in long lines at Guam and Wake, with their wings drooping almost to the ground. Such an ominous sight, especially at dawn or at dusk.
Comment from royowen
What a lovely triolet, you've written a beautifully written job on this. These can be the victim of less then strong phrasing, lately I've added lines to it to strengthen it even more, if the opening lines are strong, as yours are, it adds to their strength, well done Tony, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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What a lovely triolet, you've written a beautifully written job on this. These can be the victim of less then strong phrasing, lately I've added lines to it to strengthen it even more, if the opening lines are strong, as yours are, it adds to their strength, well done Tony, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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Thanks, Roy. I know what you mean. They can end up being a bit trite with all that repetition. Glad you thought this one worked OK. All good wishes, Tony
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Well done
Comment from lyenochka
You excel in every form. Of all the repeating forms, the triolet is my least favorite because there is so much repetition in such a short poem. But you made it soar and I could feel the poor rabbit "cower in fright." We have many bald eagles in our neighborhood and lots of bunnies, too.
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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You excel in every form. Of all the repeating forms, the triolet is my least favorite because there is so much repetition in such a short poem. But you made it soar and I could feel the poor rabbit "cower in fright." We have many bald eagles in our neighborhood and lots of bunnies, too.
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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Not my favourite form either, but a challenge to try and make it work. Glad it managed that to some extent at least.
Comment from Susan Larson
Beautiful image and beautiful words. I always see it as a blessing to see eagles soar over our yard. Doesn't matter to me whether they have pinions poised or are just traveling. They are a perfect inspiration for poetry and you captured their beauty.
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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Beautiful image and beautiful words. I always see it as a blessing to see eagles soar over our yard. Doesn't matter to me whether they have pinions poised or are just traveling. They are a perfect inspiration for poetry and you captured their beauty.
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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They are magnificent birds and an inspiration - provided one isn't a bunny! Thanks for your review. Appreciated.
Comment from phill doran
Hello Tony
A wonderful interpretation of a difficult form, which can prove 'sing-songy' if not handled properly.
"pinions poised" is a delightful phrase and adds its own music to the reading.
Super imagery from a few words.
I wish you well with your continued writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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Hello Tony
A wonderful interpretation of a difficult form, which can prove 'sing-songy' if not handled properly.
"pinions poised" is a delightful phrase and adds its own music to the reading.
Super imagery from a few words.
I wish you well with your continued writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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Kind and most unexpected, Phill. It's a bastard of a form with all that overbearing repetition! However, interesting to try to make it work. Glad you liked it.
Comment from estory
The repetitions of that phrase create this great circling effect of the eagle going around and around looking for its prey. Awe inspiring and you get that fear effect as the shadow goes over you estory
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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The repetitions of that phrase create this great circling effect of the eagle going around and around looking for its prey. Awe inspiring and you get that fear effect as the shadow goes over you estory
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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They are magnificent birds and an inspiration - provided one isn't a bunny! Thanks for your review. Appreciated.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Eagles and well written Triolet's. Two of my favorites, Tony. I haven't written one for a long time. The eagle can cast a wide shadow. I saw one not long ago, on the roadside,
spreading her wings to chase the black birds off a road kill. The wing span was at least five or six feet. Huge bird. Well done my friend. Have a nice day. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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Eagles and well written Triolet's. Two of my favorites, Tony. I haven't written one for a long time. The eagle can cast a wide shadow. I saw one not long ago, on the roadside,
spreading her wings to chase the black birds off a road kill. The wing span was at least five or six feet. Huge bird. Well done my friend. Have a nice day. Nancy:)
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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They are magnificent birds and an inspiration - provided one isn't a bunny! Thanks for your review. Appreciated. I can't say I'm a great fan of the Triolet with its overbearing repetition, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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If a Triolet is written skillfully one doesn't notice the repeat, only the content. Warm regards, Nancy:)
Comment from Mistydawn
What a beautifully written poem. Your great word choice paints a vivid picture in the reader's mind. The line that says I cower in fright reminds me of a time I was playing with the grandchildren. I was pretending I had died. I hear this god awful squawk I look up and see birds circling above me. I never got up so fast in my life. I'm sure they weren't Eagles being we live in a valley, but it was scary just the same. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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What a beautifully written poem. Your great word choice paints a vivid picture in the reader's mind. The line that says I cower in fright reminds me of a time I was playing with the grandchildren. I was pretending I had died. I hear this god awful squawk I look up and see birds circling above me. I never got up so fast in my life. I'm sure they weren't Eagles being we live in a valley, but it was scary just the same. Nicely done.
Comment Written 23-May-2020
reply by the author on 23-May-2020
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They are magnificent birds and an inspiration - provided one isn't a bunny! Thanks for your review. Appreciated. It sounds as though your circling birds might have been vultures!
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They were quite intimidating whatever they were.
