The Thief of Dreams
Kubla Khan revisited65 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
I love your poem about dreams. It is smooth to read and to understand. You did an excellent job and I saw no errors. Have a great evening and night. Shirley
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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I love your poem about dreams. It is smooth to read and to understand. You did an excellent job and I saw no errors. Have a great evening and night. Shirley
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, Shirley. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for dropping by. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from rama devi
Bravo, my friend, for a highly original, eloquent and masterfully crafted sonnet. Great composition style and clever closing couplet. Flawless meter. Great fresh rhymes, especially this stanza:
The weaving comes adrift like swirls of mist
That dissipate in rays of morning sun;
The mantle disappears, though strands persist
With which to build the domes of Kubla Khan.
Great phrasing phonics...great to read aloud, especially the alliteration and consonance, especially the D and S sounds in your first stanza
Each day that dawns is but the thief of dreams,
the tattered veils of thought that drift through night.
They make good sense in sleep, though now the seams
Are split, unable to withstand the light.
Spag suggestions:
For poets can(,) at times(,) rework remains
with careful, stitched(-)up words to form a quilt,
a patchwork made of fragments from their brains;(--)
a Xanadu of pleasures that's rebuilt.
With edits:
For poets can, at times, rework remains
with careful, stitched-up words to form a quilt,
a patchwork made of fragments from their brains--
a Xanadu of pleasures that's rebuilt.
Artistic presentation too. The poem captures something between the lines...I enjoyed it! My favorite stanza:
The weaving comes adrift like swirls of mist
That dissipate in rays of morning sun;
The mantle disappears, though strands persist
With which to build the domes of Kubla Khan.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Bravo, my friend, for a highly original, eloquent and masterfully crafted sonnet. Great composition style and clever closing couplet. Flawless meter. Great fresh rhymes, especially this stanza:
The weaving comes adrift like swirls of mist
That dissipate in rays of morning sun;
The mantle disappears, though strands persist
With which to build the domes of Kubla Khan.
Great phrasing phonics...great to read aloud, especially the alliteration and consonance, especially the D and S sounds in your first stanza
Each day that dawns is but the thief of dreams,
the tattered veils of thought that drift through night.
They make good sense in sleep, though now the seams
Are split, unable to withstand the light.
Spag suggestions:
For poets can(,) at times(,) rework remains
with careful, stitched(-)up words to form a quilt,
a patchwork made of fragments from their brains;(--)
a Xanadu of pleasures that's rebuilt.
With edits:
For poets can, at times, rework remains
with careful, stitched-up words to form a quilt,
a patchwork made of fragments from their brains--
a Xanadu of pleasures that's rebuilt.
Artistic presentation too. The poem captures something between the lines...I enjoyed it! My favorite stanza:
The weaving comes adrift like swirls of mist
That dissipate in rays of morning sun;
The mantle disappears, though strands persist
With which to build the domes of Kubla Khan.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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You know how much I appreciate your comments and advice, RD. The third stanza is much improved by your punctuation tweaks. Thank you for noticing and noting the poetic devices used and for your affirmation and encouragement. The sixth star shines bright in my firmament! All good wishes, Tony
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Yay! :-))))
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It is clear and concise. Well written. Thanks for sharing! It has a chance of winning the contest. Excellent work! Good luck!
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It is clear and concise. Well written. Thanks for sharing! It has a chance of winning the contest. Excellent work! Good luck!
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, Raul. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for dropping by. All good wishes, Tony
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You're welcome.
Comment from country ranch writer
The picture says it all nice set up and presentation for this although I don't know the history behind the poem itself.good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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The picture says it all nice set up and presentation for this although I don't know the history behind the poem itself.good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, CRW. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks for dropping by and for your good luck wishes. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from June Sargent
I absolutely love these lines - so inspiring and empowering!
For poets can at times rework remains
with careful, stitched up words to form a quilt,
a patchwork made of fragments from their brains;
a Xanadu of pleasures that's rebuilt.
Thank you for such a lovely sonnet and presentation. The artwork is perfect. Well done!
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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I absolutely love these lines - so inspiring and empowering!
For poets can at times rework remains
with careful, stitched up words to form a quilt,
a patchwork made of fragments from their brains;
a Xanadu of pleasures that's rebuilt.
Thank you for such a lovely sonnet and presentation. The artwork is perfect. Well done!
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, June. I always appreciate your comments. Thanks, too, for dropping a sixth star on this. Most affirming. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Mastery
Excellent write my friend. I like the rhythm when reading it. I agree with these lines in particular Tony:
"with careful, stitched up words to form a quilt,
a patchwork made of fragments from their brains";
Bravo my friend. :) Bob
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Excellent write my friend. I like the rhythm when reading it. I agree with these lines in particular Tony:
"with careful, stitched up words to form a quilt,
a patchwork made of fragments from their brains";
Bravo my friend. :) Bob
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, Bob. I always appreciate your comments. It's good of you to drop by and review. All good wishes, Tony
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:) Bob
Comment from robyn corum
Tony,
It's rather remarkable how very, very good you are at poetry. We might be forgiven for letting that knowledge slip since you spend so much time on your stories. But - wow - when you get back to it, it's like riding a bike, huh?
*smile*
Beautiful post. The fact that you've sprinkled it chockful of all those little poetic devices we all love, like consonance and assonance, alliteration and simile, metaphor and imagery (galore), and more.
What I woulda said is I have a buncha cool dreams but they disappear when I wake up. Hmmm...
Leaves you wantin' something, don't it?
I think yours is much better. --wink--
Thanks a bunch and good luck!
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Tony,
It's rather remarkable how very, very good you are at poetry. We might be forgiven for letting that knowledge slip since you spend so much time on your stories. But - wow - when you get back to it, it's like riding a bike, huh?
*smile*
Beautiful post. The fact that you've sprinkled it chockful of all those little poetic devices we all love, like consonance and assonance, alliteration and simile, metaphor and imagery (galore), and more.
What I woulda said is I have a buncha cool dreams but they disappear when I wake up. Hmmm...
Leaves you wantin' something, don't it?
I think yours is much better. --wink--
Thanks a bunch and good luck!
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, Robyn. I always appreciate your comments. It's good of you to drop by and review in such detail. Your comments are most generous and affirming and, as always, delivered with panache! All good wishes, Tony
Comment from richie b
Tony,
Your poem is dressed in mystical dreams. It is a poem you
can sense color and fragrances. It speaks of Eastern lore with
the morning sun and golden rays casting their spells. I enjoyed
your poem, thank you for sharing.
Peace,
Richie b
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Tony,
Your poem is dressed in mystical dreams. It is a poem you
can sense color and fragrances. It speaks of Eastern lore with
the morning sun and golden rays casting their spells. I enjoyed
your poem, thank you for sharing.
Peace,
Richie b
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, Richie. I appreciate your poetic comments. It's good of you to drop by and review. All good wishes, Tony
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Some days the words just
flow!
Peace,
Richie
Comment from Alchera
The Elizabethan sonnet has been perfectly written, set in its required versification structural format and fixed to its descriptive narrative memorial "dome of pleasure of Kubla Khan" treated by Coleridge,too.Great. Job
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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The Elizabethan sonnet has been perfectly written, set in its required versification structural format and fixed to its descriptive narrative memorial "dome of pleasure of Kubla Khan" treated by Coleridge,too.Great. Job
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, Alchera. I always appreciate your comments. It's good of you to drop by and review. All good wishes, Tony
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You are Always welcomed,Tony! Blessings from Italy. Tony
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
The Thief of Dreams
by tfawcus
Hello, Tony,
A beautiful entry for the
Sonnet Poetry Contest.
I googled Kubla Khan, a poem written by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.... I read it, it's very beautiful. It's a good topic.... revisited. Your sonnet has great imagery. Well done my friend.
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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The Thief of Dreams
by tfawcus
Hello, Tony,
A beautiful entry for the
Sonnet Poetry Contest.
I googled Kubla Khan, a poem written by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.... I read it, it's very beautiful. It's a good topic.... revisited. Your sonnet has great imagery. Well done my friend.
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thanks, Rose. I always appreciate your comments. Most affirming. It's good of you to drop by and review. All good wishes, Tony