The Longing
It begs to question.71 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
I like how your last is a question. It fits perfectly as the last line and sums up the first two. This is a great theme for a poem. Why do we yearn for certain things and they dwell in our minds. Excellent poetic form and use of words. Congrats on winning the contest.
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I like how your last is a question. It fits perfectly as the last line and sums up the first two. This is a great theme for a poem. Why do we yearn for certain things and they dwell in our minds. Excellent poetic form and use of words. Congrats on winning the contest.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from jdmoores
Interesting. It does feel like part of a longer work. As I've said before, I'm not really up on the modern forms of poetry, so I don't feel it fair for me to judge, but I'd be interested to know where this work goes from here.
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Interesting. It does feel like part of a longer work. As I've said before, I'm not really up on the modern forms of poetry, so I don't feel it fair for me to judge, but I'd be interested to know where this work goes from here.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from nomi338
Congratulations on matching words with a most sensuous art work. I would have no problem hurrying home to her, I would have a larger problem with ever leaving her in the first place. Woo!
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Congratulations on matching words with a most sensuous art work. I would have no problem hurrying home to her, I would have a larger problem with ever leaving her in the first place. Woo!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from Janet Foor
Congratulations Opal on the win.
This is an excellent 5/7/5 poem for the contest.
It does beg the question.
Very nicely done.
Blessings
Janet
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Congratulations Opal on the win.
This is an excellent 5/7/5 poem for the contest.
It does beg the question.
Very nicely done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from Alchera
The older you get, the more we go in search of truth and knowledge that both contain many other "hungry desires". Well provocative thought, well written in seventeen syllables based on an (abstract) senryu structural format! Congratulations and cheers to the winner!
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The older you get, the more we go in search of truth and knowledge that both contain many other "hungry desires". Well provocative thought, well written in seventeen syllables based on an (abstract) senryu structural format! Congratulations and cheers to the winner!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Opal!
Welcome to FanStory!
Congratulations on your win!
Your well-crafted 5/7/5 affords the reader contemplation as to the "why" behind "ravenous yearnings." Delectable ... :)
Thank you for sharing!
diane
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Hello Opal!
Welcome to FanStory!
Congratulations on your win!
Your well-crafted 5/7/5 affords the reader contemplation as to the "why" behind "ravenous yearnings." Delectable ... :)
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from Poetofheart2013
What a beautiful poem full
Of really good Imaging with a
a few you really said a lot.
And picture was perfect for it.
I really enjoyed reading it.
Just keep up the good work
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What a beautiful poem full
Of really good Imaging with a
a few you really said a lot.
And picture was perfect for it.
I really enjoyed reading it.
Just keep up the good work
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from estory
You had the perfect balance of haiku, and that gave it an oriental feel, but it was a very different kind of poem from traditional haiku. I think you had a dreamy sense of vague desires seizing your thoughts, but what really set it apart in my mind was that last question: why? That lends it an air of the mysterious, as to what is actually at work here, and where it will take us in the journey of life. And it is also up in the air. What are the answers? estory
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You had the perfect balance of haiku, and that gave it an oriental feel, but it was a very different kind of poem from traditional haiku. I think you had a dreamy sense of vague desires seizing your thoughts, but what really set it apart in my mind was that last question: why? That lends it an air of the mysterious, as to what is actually at work here, and where it will take us in the journey of life. And it is also up in the air. What are the answers? estory
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Congratulations, Opal, on your excellent, well deserved win. This is a poem that encompasses all. We all need to be wanted, and desired. But, unfortunately, that is not always possible. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
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Congratulations, Opal, on your excellent, well deserved win. This is a poem that encompasses all. We all need to be wanted, and desired. But, unfortunately, that is not always possible. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
Comment from Sanku
Desire or hunger can consume a person. Ravenous is that extreme case when satiating becomes difficult .so it comes back again and again. Congratulations on your win
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Desire or hunger can consume a person. Ravenous is that extreme case when satiating becomes difficult .so it comes back again and again. Congratulations on your win
Comment Written 24-Sep-2020
