The Gemcutters Daughter
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Quake"A dwarven high fantasy adventure.
5 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought that was great. I like how you make the small things important in the book. Like the fact the Master of Gems speaking and stating she is almost ready. The entire book chapter was enjoyable. Easy to read and developing at a nice pace.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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I thought that was great. I like how you make the small things important in the book. Like the fact the Master of Gems speaking and stating she is almost ready. The entire book chapter was enjoyable. Easy to read and developing at a nice pace.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
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Thank you very much! I appreciate the input. It still needs polishing a lot, but I appreciate anyone giving it a read. Have a great day!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This fantasy fiction speaks at a good length, a realistic description of quake and destruction and state of living through an innovative taletelling, progressed by balanced plot development, and realistic characterization, good beginning and resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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This fantasy fiction speaks at a good length, a realistic description of quake and destruction and state of living through an innovative taletelling, progressed by balanced plot development, and realistic characterization, good beginning and resolved ending; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 15-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it and the feedback helps a lot.
Comment from Fonda Little
My favorite part was, "The core of Dhuldarim was a giant machine, metal and stone woven together in the form of giant gears that powered the turning of the world itself. Some of the energy was diverted into their forges, but that was such a small expense of power comparatively that Tali doubted that anyone above had noticed, let alone minded. Homes and workshops alike were carved into the whirring parts, carefully placed to never impede the flow of progress. Walkways spanned the great chasm between gears like spiderwebs, delicate and miniscule beside the gargantuan gears.", because I have read a lot of stories in my day but never have I read one about a dwarven city having a giant machine in the middle of the world that powers the turning of it! That was pretty impressive and very creative!
The Lord led me to this verse after I read this,
Daniel 2:22
New International Version
22 He reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what lies in darkness,
and light dwells with him.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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My favorite part was, "The core of Dhuldarim was a giant machine, metal and stone woven together in the form of giant gears that powered the turning of the world itself. Some of the energy was diverted into their forges, but that was such a small expense of power comparatively that Tali doubted that anyone above had noticed, let alone minded. Homes and workshops alike were carved into the whirring parts, carefully placed to never impede the flow of progress. Walkways spanned the great chasm between gears like spiderwebs, delicate and miniscule beside the gargantuan gears.", because I have read a lot of stories in my day but never have I read one about a dwarven city having a giant machine in the middle of the world that powers the turning of it! That was pretty impressive and very creative!
The Lord led me to this verse after I read this,
Daniel 2:22
New International Version
22 He reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what lies in darkness,
and light dwells with him.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you liked the description of Dhuldarim. I was trying pretty hard to do something interesting with them. It's been fun tweaking the different fantasy races in that story.
Comment from Shirley McLain
You have a chapter that is full of tension and action. It certainly held my attention from start to finish. You did an excellent job. I didn't find any errors. Take care and have a great day. Shirley
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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You have a chapter that is full of tension and action. It certainly held my attention from start to finish. You did an excellent job. I didn't find any errors. Take care and have a great day. Shirley
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thank you very much! Have a good day as well. Let me know if you see anything that could be improved.
Comment from Bill Pinder
I liked this creative story about dwarves working in the mines with the gems. I can tell you're definitely a lord of the rings fan. You did a good job of making it a believable action story and building suspense about what will happen next. Bill
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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I liked this creative story about dwarves working in the mines with the gems. I can tell you're definitely a lord of the rings fan. You did a good job of making it a believable action story and building suspense about what will happen next. Bill
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 15-May-2020
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Thank you very much. I appreciate the review. Let me know if you see anything that could be improved.
