Comment from cdefan

Excellent

Exciting chapter! Tense and action from the start to the finish. I'm glad you are posting some of the older series here. This one is really good.
I will keep looking for new chapters.

Great read! I like this Steven character. Not one you'd want to mess with. Lol!

 Comment Written 15-May-2020

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reply by the author on 20-May-2020

Thank you, cdefan :)

Good to know you liked the chapter so well. I appreciate you taking the time to read my story. Hopefully things will get back to normal soon and I can work on the new book.

Hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from Mistydawn

Excellent

What a heck of a beginning. It's very well-written, descriptive, suspenseful beginning to end. Your great description painted a vivid yet gruesome scene in the reader's mind. I only wish I had a six to give this well-deserving piece. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 14-May-2020

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reply by the author on 15-May-2020

Thanks, Mistydawn :)

Never apologize for the five, girl. I'm so thrilled to have you give me your honest opinion and take the time to read my story. You always give me the motivation to keep on. Hopefully in June I will get back to the sixth book... The Curse. So for now since I'm re-editing the other books, I will share some sneak peek chapters.

Stay safe & thanks so much!
Hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

A heart-racing chapter with lots of blood and gore. You did an excellent job and I love the storyline. I look forward to reading more of your writing. Shirley

 Comment Written 14-May-2020

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reply by the author on 14-May-2020

Thank you, Shirley :)

It's always a pleasure to hear from you. I do love to write some horror. The more action, the excited I get about writing.
I appreciate you taking the time to read my chapter and give me inspiring feedback.

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from ngage

Excellent

Great sneak peek chapter, Ms Shana. The artwork and title was eye catching too.
I really liked the suspense and action you put into this chapter. It kept me drawn into the story. This Steven character sounds like someone you don't want to mess with. You have a fantastic imagination my friend. Keep them coming if you don't have new chapters from the curse to share.

Nate

 Comment Written 14-May-2020

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reply by the author on 14-May-2020

Thanks Nate! :)

So glad you read this chapter. I was hoping you would enjoy the action and the artwork. I know you like a bit horror so this is right down your alley. You're a gem!

Hugs,
Shana :)

Comment from royowen

Excellent

What an exciting episode dear Shana, they sure didn't know what they were doing when they confronted Stephen, and he "turned" but he's been shot, and in a district he doesn't know. But they are no more, but this doesn't help Steven in an any way. This is a masterful episode, with that brilliantly clever finish. Leaving it up in the air. Well done, blessings, Shana, blessings Roy
Typo : Don't move, the tattooed, bald guy said.

 Comment Written 14-May-2020

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reply by the author on 14-May-2020

Thanks for taking the time to read this chapter although you have followed Unleashed Chaos all the way. I did do some changes since I realize some of the mistakes I've made in my past books. I'm glad you spotted a typo for me. I can always count on you!

Thanks again my friend!
Always your fan,
Shana :)

reply by royowen on 14-May-2020

Well done Shana

Comment from fm wright

Exceptional

I truly like your descriptions of the building and the characters. You certainly packed a lot action into this beginning. It was certainly a great read.

 Comment Written 13-May-2020

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reply by the author on 14-May-2020

Thank you, Faye :)

Since I'm going back and re-editing my books, I thought what a great idea to share some of the chapters here. It's funny how I can spot all my mistakes later. I'm glad you enjoyed. Thanks for giving me great feedback!

Hugs!
Shana :)

Comment from Lucy de Welles

Good

Very exciting. Good descriptions. Action really moves story forward. Shows character's emotions. Needs some grooming to make it shine. Here are some suggestions and I"m sure others will see different things.
A few re-write suggestions.
Paragraphs:
3: A cold chill washed over him.
"For some reason" drags it down.
stomach lurched
sick to his stomach is leggy
focusing
using a single word is better than "shifting back to focus"
4: He swallowed and reached for the door.
A growl froze his hand in mid air stopping the ring.
6: A dark silhouette stepped from the shadows.
"Out of nowhere" is redundant
7: another dark figure pushed ITS way through the shadows
singular/plural thing
19: Steven whirled around in a blur, slicing the guy's throat with his razor sharp claws. The blast of a gun echoed like a crack of lightening. The bald guy flew back, blood spurting, and Steven fell to his knees clutching his chest.
Something like that....
It is obvious that you have put a lot of work into this. I can feel maturity in your writing.
Thank you for the opportunity to review your work.
Well done!

 Comment Written 13-May-2020

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reply by the author on 14-May-2020

Thank you, Lucy :)

It's nice to get a new reader and a fresh pair of eyes. I appreciate all your advice. It really helps!

Stay safe and thanks again!
Shana :)

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Thanks for bringing this story back. Quite a fighting cacophony in this chapter and the question remains up in the air, who is still alive? Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.

 Comment Written 13-May-2020

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reply by the author on 14-May-2020

Thank you, Iza :)

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I've been working on re-editing my previous books. Everyone's advice is so helpful. Thanks for taking the time to read my story and give me inspiring feedback.

Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from CEO2020

Exceptional

Your writing gets stronger with every piece you submit. I liked this post especially because of Steven. I connected spiritually with him in IMMORTAL.
This post features him and now I have connected with him emotionally. That is the art of a good writer - connecting the reader with the characters emotionally and spiritually - because if we can feel them, we can see them, and if we can see them, then the imagination is made real.
Excellent Work!

 Comment Written 13-May-2020

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reply by the author on 14-May-2020

Thanks Neal :)

I appreciate your inspiring feedback! I thought you might enjoy this one since Steven is involved. Now that I go back to my previous writing, I find so many mistakes. I'm omitting the wordy stuff. Thanks for all your encouragement. You make a difference!

Always you fan,
Shana :)

Comment from BlueTiger

Excellent

Great work on this chapter. Your story drew me in from the beginning, and left me wanting to know what happened next. Well-executed characters and simple, easy to follow writing style. Definitely an enjoyable read. No grammar errors I could find.
-BT

 Comment Written 13-May-2020

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reply by the author on 14-May-2020

Thank you, Blue Tiger :)

Great to hear from new readers and get a fresh pair of eyes. Your feedback is very encouraging. Glad you enjoyed. I hope to hear back from you.

Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)