The Claw
100 words: Chased by a sadistic, evil entity.22 total reviews
Comment from Diana L Crawford
hahaha!! i thought i was in for a real "horror" story! Well done! love how you brought the fun into the ending! Isn't it funny how we love to be scared at least just a little! lol!! xoxoxoxo
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hahaha!! i thought i was in for a real "horror" story! Well done! love how you brought the fun into the ending! Isn't it funny how we love to be scared at least just a little! lol!! xoxoxoxo
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from poetwatch
I use to do the same thing (not wet my pants) :) but chase my brothers with "the claw" That chicken leg looked good when it flexed. :) Your brother had lots of fun, your mother had lots of work. :) This is a good offering for the True Story Flash. Take care of yourself.
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I use to do the same thing (not wet my pants) :) but chase my brothers with "the claw" That chicken leg looked good when it flexed. :) Your brother had lots of fun, your mother had lots of work. :) This is a good offering for the True Story Flash. Take care of yourself.
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from Debbie Pope
So your outrageous imagination started early, huh? You can attribute it to the chicken foot. I love that you let yourself get lost in the fantasy. You could live in a pretend world. That's awesome.
I loved your story, and I predict a winner for you. You have a great intro and closing, and I enjoyed the characterization of the children and your mom.
Great job. I'm just out of sixes.
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So your outrageous imagination started early, huh? You can attribute it to the chicken foot. I love that you let yourself get lost in the fantasy. You could live in a pretend world. That's awesome.
I loved your story, and I predict a winner for you. You have a great intro and closing, and I enjoyed the characterization of the children and your mom.
Great job. I'm just out of sixes.
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from RodG
A very impressive story told in only 100 words. You set the scene perfectly with your DESCRIPTION of terrified Jennifer running from The Claw. Then we learn why she%'s running, then laughing. The amusing ending was a terrific way to focus on her again. Rod
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A very impressive story told in only 100 words. You set the scene perfectly with your DESCRIPTION of terrified Jennifer running from The Claw. Then we learn why she%'s running, then laughing. The amusing ending was a terrific way to focus on her again. Rod
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Enjoyed your true-story flash fiction Lisa May, and your added author notes. It sounds like something a brother would enjoy. We had chickens too, I remember the way they still moved when their heads were chopped. I don't know how we ever ate them. Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
valda
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Enjoyed your true-story flash fiction Lisa May, and your added author notes. It sounds like something a brother would enjoy. We had chickens too, I remember the way they still moved when their heads were chopped. I don't know how we ever ate them. Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a fun write, drawing the reader in by starting of with terror and ending in a bit of childish fun. Very inventive and a joy to read Lisa, love Dolly x
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This is a fun write, drawing the reader in by starting of with terror and ending in a bit of childish fun. Very inventive and a joy to read Lisa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from Patty Palmer
Ha! Ha! I'm sure that would be scary! If you did that to me even at my age now, I'd be sure to wet my pants! Heck, I wet my pants anyway every time I laugh! It's an old people thing!
xxoo
Parry
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Ha! Ha! I'm sure that would be scary! If you did that to me even at my age now, I'd be sure to wet my pants! Heck, I wet my pants anyway every time I laugh! It's an old people thing!
xxoo
Parry
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Delightful! Wouldn't have guessed this was true--thanks for the footnotes. Great description of encroaching terror; vivid and fresh imagery: pearlized talons. What a treat--with pay to boot. Cheers. LIZ
Back with congrats on your prize--not in the least surprised!
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Delightful! Wouldn't have guessed this was true--thanks for the footnotes. Great description of encroaching terror; vivid and fresh imagery: pearlized talons. What a treat--with pay to boot. Cheers. LIZ
Back with congrats on your prize--not in the least surprised!
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Great way to tell a story that makes the reader think one thing, but which actually ends up being another thing, from the proper perspective. I didn't see anything to improve on. The title reminded me just slightly of a reference to an American movie from 1997. Scary/fun read!
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Great way to tell a story that makes the reader think one thing, but which actually ends up being another thing, from the proper perspective. I didn't see anything to improve on. The title reminded me just slightly of a reference to an American movie from 1997. Scary/fun read!
Comment Written 13-May-2020
Comment from oliver818
You tell this really well. I like the pace of the peace and the way it seems so creepy but the twist is it's just a kids game. Well done and thanks for sharing this
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You tell this really well. I like the pace of the peace and the way it seems so creepy but the twist is it's just a kids game. Well done and thanks for sharing this
Comment Written 13-May-2020
