An Offer She Couldn't Refuse
When a fantastical change of perspective heals the mind...16 total reviews
Comment from Bill Pinder
Great story, Yvette! Would give you six stars if I had it. Entertaining characters created by your ever imaginative muse blend into an interesting story. Bill
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Great story, Yvette! Would give you six stars if I had it. Entertaining characters created by your ever imaginative muse blend into an interesting story. Bill
Comment Written 08-May-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Thanks so much, Bill, for this awesome review, sir!! I do so enjoy writing as my 'escape' from stuff (teaching, parents, life in general - lol!) and this one came at the end of the final grading cycle of the school year... HOORAY - it's all done (except the crying... of a few students... and, of course, their parents... sigh)!! ;) Thanx for stopping in and you take care out there! ;) Yvette
Comment from richie b
Yvette,
Your skills shine in this story. I write comic
books and you produce classics. Your story
flows easily, no ebbs and tides.
You handle a complex issue of PTSD with
care and integrity. You created scenes and images
that keep the reader on their toes.
Your main character is complex, her mind
troubled at times trying to comprehend all
that is in front of her. A lesser writer would
easily make a mess of Nannette Bridges
personality.
I admire your work, kudo's!
Stay well,
Richie
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Yvette,
Your skills shine in this story. I write comic
books and you produce classics. Your story
flows easily, no ebbs and tides.
You handle a complex issue of PTSD with
care and integrity. You created scenes and images
that keep the reader on their toes.
Your main character is complex, her mind
troubled at times trying to comprehend all
that is in front of her. A lesser writer would
easily make a mess of Nannette Bridges
personality.
I admire your work, kudo's!
Stay well,
Richie
Comment Written 06-May-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Thanks so much, Richie, for this awesome review, sir!! I do so enjoy writing as my 'escape' from stuff (teaching, parents, life in general - lol!) and this one came at the end of the final grading cycle of the school year... D-O-N-E, Done!! ;) Thanx for stopping in and you take care out there! ;) Yvette
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Yvette,
You are most
welcome. I hope you
relax and enjoy.
Richie
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Found It writing prompt.
This short Sci-Fi story is clear and well told.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the Found It writing prompt.
This short Sci-Fi story is clear and well told.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 06-May-2020
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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Thank you.
Comment from S.M.E.Schultz
This is a great story! Have you thought of expanding it into a novel or novella? The characters are bizarre enough to be very cool! Your narrative is clear and with enough gaps to make the reader want more information, like more of the back story on Nan, and more about Four and Nine [I assume the names are related to their respective heights...but maybe not?]
Well done!
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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This is a great story! Have you thought of expanding it into a novel or novella? The characters are bizarre enough to be very cool! Your narrative is clear and with enough gaps to make the reader want more information, like more of the back story on Nan, and more about Four and Nine [I assume the names are related to their respective heights...but maybe not?]
Well done!
Comment Written 06-May-2020
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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I am so grateful for your awesome review, S.M.E. - my fantasy goes a little off the rails every now and then, so I'm glad you enjoyed!! Oh, I have tons of stories and extensions waiting in the wings just as soon as the school year finishes... which is this week - hooray!! Take care out there!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Wow! I don't think I'll bother competing with this story, it was amazing! Such an imagination you have. I loved the whole concept of this story, the Galactic Collective Physician, I don't think anyone has come up with an idea like this before. I think if someone knocked on my door and handed me a set of keys, I would want to see what door it fitted. I really enjoyed your story, and couldn't find a single nit in it! Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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Wow! I don't think I'll bother competing with this story, it was amazing! Such an imagination you have. I loved the whole concept of this story, the Galactic Collective Physician, I don't think anyone has come up with an idea like this before. I think if someone knocked on my door and handed me a set of keys, I would want to see what door it fitted. I really enjoyed your story, and couldn't find a single nit in it! Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-May-2020
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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Yeah - at the end of a stress-filled time, my fantasy goes a little off the rails - kindof like some folks do physical exercise to just 'blow off steam', I guess - lol! ;) But I'm glad you enjoyed, Sandra!! Thank you for this awesome review and may you have a wonderful week over there!
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I should have known it was your writing, it was just the best of them all. I voted for you, too. You should have won. xxxx
Comment from Franklin Dillard
Good day to you, this is a real wonderful arrangement of words. It gives the reader the excitement reading from the First sentence to the last. you did a remarkable job.
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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Good day to you, this is a real wonderful arrangement of words. It gives the reader the excitement reading from the First sentence to the last. you did a remarkable job.
Comment Written 06-May-2020
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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Thank you.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an extremely imaginative story. It is well-crafted, and reads plesantly, with an occasional touch of humour. The only niggle I have is not to have found out why Nan bled the first time she tried to unlock the door.
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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This is an extremely imaginative story. It is well-crafted, and reads plesantly, with an occasional touch of humour. The only niggle I have is not to have found out why Nan bled the first time she tried to unlock the door.
Comment Written 06-May-2020
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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When you read the 'action' there, Katherine, you'll see that a needle quickly shot out then disappeared... honestly, it's one of those quandaries left to the reader to decide exactly what happened, but you'll note that the door automatically opened right after that... hmmmm. :-) Thank you for this awesome review and may you have a wonderful week over there!
Comment from Veenbee
Wow, this was a very unique story. I literally felt like I was going through the twilight zone. That was cool. As I read I was determined to find out where I was. Like maybe she was going to wake up and really be elsewhere. Then to find out she was the Honorable Galactic Collective Physician. I liked the description you gave when she poked her wrist on the doorknob. Your choice of words painted a very detailed picture of her every move. Then you had her yell at the house. I liked that. Very good job.
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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Wow, this was a very unique story. I literally felt like I was going through the twilight zone. That was cool. As I read I was determined to find out where I was. Like maybe she was going to wake up and really be elsewhere. Then to find out she was the Honorable Galactic Collective Physician. I liked the description you gave when she poked her wrist on the doorknob. Your choice of words painted a very detailed picture of her every move. Then you had her yell at the house. I liked that. Very good job.
Comment Written 05-May-2020
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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An enjoyable Twilight Zone excursion would mean that I accomplished my fantasy-goal for the day, Veenbee! Thank you for this awesome review and may you have a wonderful week out there!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a very alluring story. The reader is led along a journey which at first seems predictable. Everything still has a tinge of oddity. The reader pushes that aside presuming this will be a bit of a mystery but will be answered with a predicable outcome...NOT. This has much potential. You can backtrack for some sort of prelude and slowly develop the wonderful scenerio and plot and world to which you have only begun to introduce the reader. This deserves A+
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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This is a very alluring story. The reader is led along a journey which at first seems predictable. Everything still has a tinge of oddity. The reader pushes that aside presuming this will be a bit of a mystery but will be answered with a predicable outcome...NOT. This has much potential. You can backtrack for some sort of prelude and slowly develop the wonderful scenerio and plot and world to which you have only begun to introduce the reader. This deserves A+
Comment Written 05-May-2020
reply by the author on 06-May-2020
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I am so grateful for your detailed review, Liz - my fantasy goes a little off the rails every now and then, so I'm glad you enjoyed!! Oh, I have tons of stories and extensions waiting in the wings just as soon as the school year finishes... which is this week - hooray!! Thank you also for these awesome stars as they are bright spot amidst the craziness of 'now'! Take care out there!
Comment from Shirley McLain
You wrote a good story that I enjoyed reading. I figured the story when #4 almost said hospital. Let me correct that I almost figured it out. I was surprised by the Aliens. Great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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You wrote a good story that I enjoyed reading. I figured the story when #4 almost said hospital. Let me correct that I almost figured it out. I was surprised by the Aliens. Great job. Shirley
Comment Written 05-May-2020
reply by the author on 05-May-2020
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LOL!! Yeah, those aliens are definitely some sort of a surprise! Thanks so much for your time and your encouraging review, Shirley!
