Reviews from

St Louis

Viewing comments for Chapter 64 "St. Louis Chapter 26 part 3"
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

17 total reviews 
Comment from Veenbee
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like where this story is going. Forgive me I'm coming in the middle of your story. I recently became active again now that we are all home. I am intrigued by what may have brought on the murders and the unveiling of the evidence to follow. Very good job at story development. Good luck with the rest.

 Comment Written 07-May-2020


reply by the author on 08-May-2020
    Thank you for the kind review. I hope you drop by agian.
Comment from estory
Excellent
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This is an intriguing story that unfolds in the dialogue here. There are plenty of twists and turns, as is necessary in good detective plots. Murdered parents, gangs, dead criminals, ransacked apartments, mysterious documents; all these bread crumb trails lead us by the nose into this story, and you do a good job of orchestrating the suspense, holding the future one step beyond our reach. estory

 Comment Written 05-May-2020


reply by the author on 06-May-2020
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from RPSaxena
Excellent
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Hello Barbara.wilkey,
Nice piece in continuation having a VERY INTERESTING Start, and this captivating flow goes on for the next some paragraphs but its strength loosens, particularly, since Bill's entry.
I think such depressions occur in a big novel. So it's a minor phase, and negligible.
I'm waiting for the next part.

 Comment Written 05-May-2020


reply by the author on 06-May-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by RPSaxena on 08-May-2020
    Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Now we're getting somewhere. I can't wait to find out whose blood that was the Edger had, what a clever boy he was, he deserves a treet! There was quite a bit in this part, Barbara, and although Mac kept thinking they were back to square one, they aren't. There's a mound of clues coming out now. And we will be getting the autopsy report. Excellent! I can understand why Logan wants to read his sister's text messages by himself. Another wonderful chapter, my friend. Well done. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 04-May-2020


reply by the author on 04-May-2020
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Excellent
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This is a great story and I an glued to it. I look forward to more posts. Your characters are so real, I forget this is fiction. Your mind works well in this gender. Well done!

 Comment Written 03-May-2020


reply by the author on 04-May-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Barbara,

Looks like you're starting to head for the finish line. *smile*

This chapter looks great, as always. Only a couple notes:
1.) Cupping her hands in his, Logan said, "I'm here. Lean on me."
--> her hands are holding her head. He has to reach and gently take them down and get her eyes. (But don't use 'eyes' cause it's in next sentence.)

2.) identity of who(ever) hired him to murder your dad."

Easy peasy. Ha


Thank you!

 Comment Written 03-May-2020


reply by the author on 04-May-2020
    I have rewritten that first sentence and made the second correction. Thank you for the help.
reply by robyn corum on 04-May-2020
    Taking her hand, Logan cupped them in his and leaned his head so it touched hers
    --> still have a problem. He TOOK a singular hand but CUPPED plural hands
reply by the author on 04-May-2020
    DARN!!!!! LOL Thank you I will made the correction.
Comment from susand3022
Excellent
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Well, if you want to send ME a copy of Mehgaan's text messages, I wouldn't mind reading them myself... you know... since they're available now and everything... ;) That would be a fun little addendum to your book... a website where you can see things like Meghan's text messages. When you get to the part where they're available, you leave a code to open them up in the site for the book, which comes with the book. ;) That would be cool! :) You could get other things too, like her full autopsy report, or you can 'see' other evidence that they get, first hand, the way you can't when you're reading a book. It could be a cool new sales hook.

 Comment Written 03-May-2020


reply by the author on 04-May-2020
    That would be cool, but unfortunately I don't have the computer expertise to do that. I can barely handle word. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Opeyemi Diamond
Excellent
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Wow!!! This is a beautiful work. I enjoyed your story. The content is nice and the images is also lovely even though it wasn't what you wanted. Something definitely would come out of those two closeness

 Comment Written 03-May-2020


reply by the author on 04-May-2020
    Thank you for the encouragement.
reply by Opeyemi Diamond on 06-May-2020
    Please when will the part 4 of your story be out...St Louis
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
    I post every Sunday, unless it's a holiday, then on Monday.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sometimes Forensic takes longer than a person desires. No doubt things are shaping up. I think they should let the butt get whipped. LOL. Good one Barb.

 Comment Written 03-May-2020


reply by the author on 03-May-2020
    They will, but we will have to wait a few weeks for it to happen. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You did well on this. Good to let folks know where you are going with it sort of. Picture is good too. Only 1 small spag this time around. I w[a](o)n(')t spend time alone with him."

 Comment Written 03-May-2020


reply by the author on 03-May-2020
    I'm confused by your suggestion. Maybe I don't understand. McKenzie wants to spend time alone with this guy to beat him up. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Sankey on 03-May-2020
    OK I misunderstood she WANTS to not she won't gotcha.