Our Silence Portrays
A 3-line 5-7-5 Poem19 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Okay, first off: what is up with those author notes there? 'improving' on short forms? Your short forms are awesome, dude - seriously!! :) How many sixes have you stolen from me, and I do believe MANY of them (if not all) have been 'short forms'... you are pretty much the master of the sensual short form! :) :) Now that we've gotten that misunderstanding straightened out (wink, wink)....
Aaaaaand, I rest my case on the 'master' comment above with my review on this one: to have silence actively paint or 'portray' the pounding of hearts that is quite a profound thought! Love the subtle alliteration throughout all three lines that provide a thread tying the lines together: the s's as a continuous thread amidst the p's and the b's (even in the unspoken 'beat' of the hearts throughout)... ;) :) Together they complete the emotions as well as a mental image of passionate embrace. :) :) :) Wonderful offering, sir, and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Okay, first off: what is up with those author notes there? 'improving' on short forms? Your short forms are awesome, dude - seriously!! :) How many sixes have you stolen from me, and I do believe MANY of them (if not all) have been 'short forms'... you are pretty much the master of the sensual short form! :) :) Now that we've gotten that misunderstanding straightened out (wink, wink)....
Aaaaaand, I rest my case on the 'master' comment above with my review on this one: to have silence actively paint or 'portray' the pounding of hearts that is quite a profound thought! Love the subtle alliteration throughout all three lines that provide a thread tying the lines together: the s's as a continuous thread amidst the p's and the b's (even in the unspoken 'beat' of the hearts throughout)... ;) :) Together they complete the emotions as well as a mental image of passionate embrace. :) :) :) Wonderful offering, sir, and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Hello my friend, I think sometimes you may have read my short works after some wonderful reviewers help-I think I can come up with the words, it is usually the positions I put them in and punctuation and spacing that I am trying to improve on, and I am very happy to say I have not had to change a thing for this one, so your previous sixers I have had to share-this one is all for me Ha! Ha!, even things like you have mentioned about the p's b's and s's, unintentional on my behalf but now have learned they can add to the read (many thanks) I am glad to read that things are starting to ease for you and your work load, please stay well and stay safe, as always your comments and help are always much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Ashtar Zaidi
Truth.... but everybody won't accept it, good lines, well said and thank you so much for sharing such a excellent piece of work.... God Bless you... ~Ashtar...
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Truth.... but everybody won't accept it, good lines, well said and thank you so much for sharing such a excellent piece of work.... God Bless you... ~Ashtar...
Comment Written 03-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Thank you Ashtar, for your great comments, stay well and stay safe****kahpot
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I appreciate it, please check my new poem "Nowadays" in my portfolio, Please review it for me and let me know my drawbacks... :)
Comment from Janetsue
Deep love does cause a person to be breathless some times. You've successfully instilled strong emotion in just three short lines. Best wishes in the contest, Kahpot!
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Deep love does cause a person to be breathless some times. You've successfully instilled strong emotion in just three short lines. Best wishes in the contest, Kahpot!
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 03-May-2020
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Our Silence Portrays
by kahpot
Hello my friend
Great entry for the 3 Line Poetry Contest. Beautiful presentation. Good syllable count. Lines one and two are well connected so the poem flows nicely. The satori ties silence with breathless very well. Passionate love is like that. Well done my friend. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Our Silence Portrays
by kahpot
Hello my friend
Great entry for the 3 Line Poetry Contest. Beautiful presentation. Good syllable count. Lines one and two are well connected so the poem flows nicely. The satori ties silence with breathless very well. Passionate love is like that. Well done my friend. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Thank you so very much, your encouraging words mean from reading your work I am slowly learning and understanding this short form, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from joycetreasures
Kahpot,
I pray you are well during this pandemic. Your 3-line poem, "Our Silence Portrays" is beautifully written. Love photo is also very nice to reflect the words in your poem. The words capture the essence of silence is golden. This poem is very creative. I love the last two words, "breathless ecstasy" says the feeling of joyful excitement, which we don't always control our intimate feeling. Good job! Well done. I saw no errors. Thanks for sharing. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Kahpot,
I pray you are well during this pandemic. Your 3-line poem, "Our Silence Portrays" is beautifully written. Love photo is also very nice to reflect the words in your poem. The words capture the essence of silence is golden. This poem is very creative. I love the last two words, "breathless ecstasy" says the feeling of joyful excitement, which we don't always control our intimate feeling. Good job! Well done. I saw no errors. Thanks for sharing. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Thank you very much, and yes I am well and hope you are the same, this is a very encouraging review, many thanks and much appreciated****kahpot
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You are welcome.
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You are welcome.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your contest entry. Great job with the prompt. Your lines have the correct syllables, there is great imagery and emotion in your well-chosen words, and the art is a great pairing. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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I enjoyed your contest entry. Great job with the prompt. Your lines have the correct syllables, there is great imagery and emotion in your well-chosen words, and the art is a great pairing. Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Thank you for your excellent comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are passionate, clear and creative. The reader
pondered on the words and theme of this poem. The artwork was
perfect and compliments this poem.
Hope you are doing well.....Maria
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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The author's words are passionate, clear and creative. The reader
pondered on the words and theme of this poem. The artwork was
perfect and compliments this poem.
Hope you are doing well.....Maria
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Thank you Maria for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I am missing something somewhere. The image doesn't seem to mesh too well with the text. Moreimportantly, you have wasted the first line of your poem that is a direct repetition of the title. This is an important consideration in such a short work.
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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I am missing something somewhere. The image doesn't seem to mesh too well with the text. Moreimportantly, you have wasted the first line of your poem that is a direct repetition of the title. This is an important consideration in such a short work.
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Thank you Katherine, yes I am trying to improve my knowledge of short works, I did get told that a Haiku should start this way I just got confused, thank you for the heads up, much appreciated****kahpot
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sorry. I think it was me that became confused. I hadn't registered that this was a Haiku, thought it was just "the same syllable count as..."
Comment from Mark D. R.
Diane,
You entered a very lovely verse for this contest. I too favor cleo85's artwork. You shared a nice presentation for all of us to consider.
Your last line is superlative - something to aspire to(-;
Mark
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Diane,
You entered a very lovely verse for this contest. I too favor cleo85's artwork. You shared a nice presentation for all of us to consider.
Your last line is superlative - something to aspire to(-;
Mark
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Hello Mark, thank you very much for your great review, you have me a bit confused as you started your comments with Diane, never the less as always much appreciated****kahpot
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Apologies for typing the wrong name. Likely sent without careful proofreading. When one points a finger at someone, remember that three fingers point back at you. Often I comment about misspellings or bad text spacing in my reviews, so I should clean my own house before commenting about others. (-;
Mark
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No apologies necessary, and I like when readers pull me up on my gramma and punctuation, I need this help, many thanks****kahpot
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written three-line poem about our silence about our feeelings for someone portrays the desire for their love that becomes a breathless ecstassy that we cannot control.
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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A very well-written three-line poem about our silence about our feeelings for someone portrays the desire for their love that becomes a breathless ecstassy that we cannot control.
Comment Written 02-May-2020
reply by the author on 02-May-2020
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comments, much appreciated****kahpot
