If Only
Adventure in alternate reality17 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
Your adventure in an alternate reality as father of Timothy Mcveigh is gripping. From the one-word opener, I knew it would impact on emotions. This was indeed a heinous act, in my opinion justifying the death penalty. Some people just don't deserve to stay around, when so many others have been blasted to kingdom come. Poor father, yearning for the anonymous days of a mispronounced surname.
This is strong writing, touching on various thought-provoking topics - hyperbole in news reporting; the nature of heroism; revenge.
A minor correction:
As as (delete 2nd 'as') a topper, the impassioned speech by President Bush
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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Your adventure in an alternate reality as father of Timothy Mcveigh is gripping. From the one-word opener, I knew it would impact on emotions. This was indeed a heinous act, in my opinion justifying the death penalty. Some people just don't deserve to stay around, when so many others have been blasted to kingdom come. Poor father, yearning for the anonymous days of a mispronounced surname.
This is strong writing, touching on various thought-provoking topics - hyperbole in news reporting; the nature of heroism; revenge.
A minor correction:
As as (delete 2nd 'as') a topper, the impassioned speech by President Bush
Comment Written 03-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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As as always you have Eagle eyes! Many thanks for your thoughtful eloquence.
Comment from RetroStarfish
Wow. What an imaginative subject and creative telling of it. I really like your writing style. The short punchy sentences. The subtlety and backing into big reveals, such as the revelation many paragraphs down of "... my son."
I like the imagery too, of hot air from barking heads filling circus tents. (Full disclosure: In 1982 I was a barking mouth on the radio.)
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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Wow. What an imaginative subject and creative telling of it. I really like your writing style. The short punchy sentences. The subtlety and backing into big reveals, such as the revelation many paragraphs down of "... my son."
I like the imagery too, of hot air from barking heads filling circus tents. (Full disclosure: In 1982 I was a barking mouth on the radio.)
Comment Written 02-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2020
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What a lovely ssssssurprise! Many thanks for your thoughtful remarks. Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Wendy G
This story is very thought-provoking, with all the 'what-ifs' and 'might-have-beens'. The damage done to soldiers is inestimable, yet they give their all for their country, presupposing the rightness of their leader's actions. Sad story.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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This story is very thought-provoking, with all the 'what-ifs' and 'might-have-beens'. The damage done to soldiers is inestimable, yet they give their all for their country, presupposing the rightness of their leader's actions. Sad story.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thanks for stopping by, Wendy. Always nice to see you! I appreciate your eloquent and heartfelt remarks. (Much obliged for the virtual blue recognized ribbon pending--you are #15 reader!)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is an interesting look at Tim McVeigh. You kinda peel away the layers and get into the heart of what happened. I'm not sure everyone will agree with this take but it is very interesting and well written.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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This is an interesting look at Tim McVeigh. You kinda peel away the layers and get into the heart of what happened. I'm not sure everyone will agree with this take but it is very interesting and well written.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2020
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Thank you, Michael, for another delightful visit this evening. Glad you find this intriguing. Stop by anytime! Cheers. LIZ
Comment from lyenochka
"If only" is right! That poor father - all poor parents of terrorists. I'm sure most did not raise them to become what they did. You created a powerful scenario by writing this from the father's POV. And now, some consider this terrorist and martyr to justify their own criminal thinking.
Great job with this thought-provoking piece!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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"If only" is right! That poor father - all poor parents of terrorists. I'm sure most did not raise them to become what they did. You created a powerful scenario by writing this from the father's POV. And now, some consider this terrorist and martyr to justify their own criminal thinking.
Great job with this thought-provoking piece!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2020
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Thank you Helen--I appreciate your heartfelt remarks. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Jay Squires
Well, that was certainly an interesting way to tell the story. Especially different was the transition between fiction--by removing the word "not" from the last sentence--and fact, when you provided the non-fiction version to close it out. Good job!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Well, that was certainly an interesting way to tell the story. Especially different was the transition between fiction--by removing the word "not" from the last sentence--and fact, when you provided the non-fiction version to close it out. Good job!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Thank you Jay! Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from estory
This was terrific. It was daring in some ways. Here you tell the story of Tim McVeigh, a maligned and sinister character who orchestrated a terrible terrorist attack that killed hundreds of people. But you tell the story from the point of view of the father, and you create a complicated figure that also contains the honored soldier, the victim of PTSD, the son and in many ways, the average American kid. You feel the father's pain in his narrative, the sense of his son forever an object of derision makes it even more accute. People, even criminals, are complicated beings and this is a great articulation of that fact. estory
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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This was terrific. It was daring in some ways. Here you tell the story of Tim McVeigh, a maligned and sinister character who orchestrated a terrible terrorist attack that killed hundreds of people. But you tell the story from the point of view of the father, and you create a complicated figure that also contains the honored soldier, the victim of PTSD, the son and in many ways, the average American kid. You feel the father's pain in his narrative, the sense of his son forever an object of derision makes it even more accute. People, even criminals, are complicated beings and this is a great articulation of that fact. estory
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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What a lovely ssssssurprise! Thanks for stopping by. Always a pleasure. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Roberta Liszcz
What a trip! Didn't remember the name at first but was intrigued by the grammatical challenge making me chuckle, then the circus images, off to war and the awful reality of it. Then I remembered. What a roller coaster for the dad, his son the hero to his son the murderer. Terrific piece. Love your meandering.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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What a trip! Didn't remember the name at first but was intrigued by the grammatical challenge making me chuckle, then the circus images, off to war and the awful reality of it. Then I remembered. What a roller coaster for the dad, his son the hero to his son the murderer. Terrific piece. Love your meandering.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Thanks for stopping by Roberta--welcome anytime! I appreciate your thoughtful commentary. Glad the story held you. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Susan X Smith
This story has an ironic twist at the end. I well remember the Oklahoma bombings since I worked for the Federal gov't at the time (but not near that site). I bet the parents of all mass murderers are the ones who suffer the most. Your story held my interest.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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This story has an ironic twist at the end. I well remember the Oklahoma bombings since I worked for the Federal gov't at the time (but not near that site). I bet the parents of all mass murderers are the ones who suffer the most. Your story held my interest.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Thanks for stopping by Susan. I appreciate your thoughtful commentary. Glad the story held you! Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Gloria ....
So very well done. I enjoy stories written from the perspective of a grieving parent whose child has committed a heinous crime such as that of Timothy McVeigh. It must be impossibly difficult. You have done a fine job imagining how the father, Bill McVeigh's thoughts might have gone.
I always remember Joyce Carol Oates reimagining the Andrea Yates tragedy in her short story, Dear Husband. Written from a different POV, and not as unsettling as that of a parent, but nonetheless a fascinating and difficult read.
Top of the line writing here, LIZ and I enjoyed every minute of it. I hope you write more.
Gloria
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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So very well done. I enjoy stories written from the perspective of a grieving parent whose child has committed a heinous crime such as that of Timothy McVeigh. It must be impossibly difficult. You have done a fine job imagining how the father, Bill McVeigh's thoughts might have gone.
I always remember Joyce Carol Oates reimagining the Andrea Yates tragedy in her short story, Dear Husband. Written from a different POV, and not as unsettling as that of a parent, but nonetheless a fascinating and difficult read.
Top of the line writing here, LIZ and I enjoyed every minute of it. I hope you write more.
Gloria
Comment Written 30-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2020
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Thank you Gloria! What a lovely ssssssurprise. Haven't seen sixes lately. I am humbled by your laudatory words! Cheers. LIZ
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I love this. If you posted high right at the beginning my guess is you would get more sixes because this is superb writing.
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Thank you again! (This is my third promotion--figured time to reminisce about the fallout of four years ago.)
