Reviews from

Viewing the World With Fresh Eyes

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Riding High"
The fifteen Years of My Life

18 total reviews 
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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What a story--well told--you sure convey your building excitement and the thrills of the ride. When I was four my parents took us for a helicopter ride; the pilot forgot to shut the door and took off down the runway! Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 03-May-2020


reply by the author on 03-May-2020
    I'm glad you didn't fall out the door. I'm glad you liked my little story. It won a second place. I got the member cash but they didn't put winner thing on there. I knew the girl who lost her son this year would win that contest. That was a sad one.
    Beth
reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 03-May-2020
    When my horrified mother noticed the door was open, the pilot said: Not to worry; the centrifugal force will keep you from falling out.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Well done what a thrilling experience. Louise and I flew in a light plane over Lake Eyre in the middle of Australia. It is dry for 9 out of 10 years and sadly we had missed the peak of it being full and all the w9ildlife that drew. Can point you to the chapter if you want. 1 spag. flying mu[ch](st) be the most wonderful

 Comment Written 02-May-2020


reply by the author on 03-May-2020
    Thank you for reviewing this. That trip you took must have been exciting. When Evan and I were dating we often went over to air base and went up in a small plane. I like the small ones better than the big jets.
    Beth
reply by Sankey on 03-May-2020
    I will point the chapter to you unless you already saw it.
Comment from Ashtar Zaidi
Excellent
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Great Job... !! I really enjoyed it, deep ideas, your energy is infectious, the way how you explained it was fantastic, thank you so much for sharing it, God Bless You... ~Ashtar~

 Comment Written 02-May-2020


reply by the author on 02-May-2020
    Thank you again for the review. Your comments were the same for both of these very different pieces but I'm glad you enjoyed them.
    Beth
reply by Ashtar Zaidi on 02-May-2020
    I apprecaite it :)
reply by Ashtar Zaidi on 02-May-2020
    I am learning how to deal with this website... :)
Comment from robyn corum
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Dear Mystery Writer,

How very, very cool. I love the fact that you were, above all your family members, the brave and fearless one - ready for adventure! hahaha

Did you say how old you were at this time? I didn't notice that part if you did.

Some notes, if I may?
1.) The sound of the motor was loud.
--> The sound of the engines was loud.
--> planes have 'engines' I think AND you needed a plural (s) for the motor since there was more than one plane

2.) Daddy said. "I (don't) have any business being up there."

That's it. Just two tiny nits. (And one of them is questionable about actually calling it a 'nit'!) Thanks so much and good luck in the voting!





 Comment Written 01-May-2020


reply by the author on 01-May-2020
    Thank you Robin. I appreciate the review and comments and also for noticing the things that needed correcting.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
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Awe, I like this. The fearless daughter going up to fly. Dad just figured that their was no reason to go up in a plane. He had plenty of good ground to walk on down here. This is a very good and well developed story. Thanks for sharing this well written work. I enjoyed reading it. Well done!

 Comment Written 01-May-2020


reply by the author on 01-May-2020
    Thnak you so much for the review and comments. Yes, My Dad never got into any plane in his life. I enjoyed it throughly.
Comment from rockmann
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What a cute little slice of life. I bet you had new status both at home and at school. I must say that a rollover would leave me more than just a little scared. I probably would have wet my pants! I enjoyed this, and hope you do well in the contest.

 Comment Written 01-May-2020


reply by the author on 01-May-2020
    Thank you for the review and nice comments. Yes, I was proud of myself. I wasn't at all afraid but if he'd done many of those rolls, it might have been a different story.
Comment from Minglement
Excellent
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I enjoyed every word of this wonderful story of childhood wonderment. It held my interest throughout. I was right there with you feeling the magic. Beautifully told. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 01-May-2020


reply by the author on 01-May-2020
    Thank you for the review and wonderful comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
reply by Minglement on 01-May-2020
    My pleasure. Take care ;)
Comment from JudyE
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I enjoyed this and you conveyed the longing and excitement very well. What a wonderful memory to have as I'm sure very few would have ridden in such a plane.

If it's okay, I picked up a couple of points:
the pilot was taking kids up for rides for a penny a pound - did you mean 'a penny a round'? Ignore that. It's explained later. It might be better explained here but it's probably not important.

We'll see if he has time after while - should be 'after a while'

"No, not me." Daddy said - replace period with a comma

I wasn't sure that was good news. Daddy was bald - loved this. So funny. :)

You ready to take a ride?" he asked me. I grinned and nodded. "Well, all right! Let's weigh you in."

"You want be the pilot?" he asked. - should be 'you want to be the pilot'

In a while he dipped the plane low and pointed - comma needed after 'while'

I nodded.What a sensation - space needed after 'nodded'

Good luck.


 Comment Written 30-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2020
    Thank you so much for the great review and comment. I appreciate you pointing out a few things that needed correcting.
Comment from Elon Vaughn
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This is such a great description of a first plane ride. I was flying along with you and glad I didn't have to do the roll. I've never gotten over the excitement of a plane, or jet lifting off the ground. I love the take off much more than the landing and always try to get a window seat.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2020
    Thank you so much for the review and comments. I like the small planes better than the large one, although If I on the big ones I won't the window seat. The first time I rode a large plane many years later, I was on the same plane as Michael Jackson and the Jackon five before he became famous enough to have his own plane. I wasn't even aware they were famous. LOL
reply by Elon Vaughn on 30-Apr-2020
    What a great story of the Jacksons!
Comment from Shirley McLain
Good
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What a great story. I loved the last line about you gone to somewhere they will never go. I did find a couple of errors for you to look at. Have a great evening and stay well. Shirley

She's the splitting(spitting)
a (delete a)54 cents.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2020
    Thank you for the review and comments. I realized that spitting is actually the correct word, but in my part of the world everyone said slitting (as as in split form the same material. It was in conversation so I used the one he would have likely used. However if you think it other people would think I made a mistake perhaps I'll change it.
reply by Shirley McLain on 30-Apr-2020
    I think you will know by the feedback you get.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2020
    I've gotten 10 or so reviews. No one else as mentioned it. I looked it up and it is often misused.