The Entry
Writing Story Contest Entry15 total reviews
Comment from Laurie Holding
I laughed out loud at the end of this, so it worked! I know it wouldn't be "humor" to work in the fact that you got the coronavirus from touching the mouse on his desk, but it would add a pinch of irony, to have both writers laid low over a silly contest, right?
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reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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I laughed out loud at the end of this, so it worked! I know it wouldn't be "humor" to work in the fact that you got the coronavirus from touching the mouse on his desk, but it would add a pinch of irony, to have both writers laid low over a silly contest, right?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Laurie. I'm glad you liked this silly piece. Might I ask what improvements could be made to make it better? That's what a 4 star rating means, that the piece needs improvement. Yes, having him catch coronavirus from his mouse would be hilarious. Lol. I'm glad you had a chuckle at this ridiculous piece. Have a great day, Laurie.
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Humorous, good, flashy writing with speed. Don't doubt, your neighbor will not be better. It is the originality that counts, your own, not that of someone else. All the attempts to break in and steal, the fighting and feelings of inferiority were completely useless.
For me, this is a winning story.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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Humorous, good, flashy writing with speed. Don't doubt, your neighbor will not be better. It is the originality that counts, your own, not that of someone else. All the attempts to break in and steal, the fighting and feelings of inferiority were completely useless.
For me, this is a winning story.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the fantastic review, Marjon. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked this silly piece. I hope you have yourself a great day.
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So welcome! and the day is sunny and fabulous.
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Glad to hear it. It's the same here.
=]
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:))
Comment from humpwhistle
Well, I certainly give you props for effort. But who just happens to have a lock-pick kit?
Very creative, author. And an impressive turn at writing a fight scene. Those aren't easy to replicate on paper. This reminded me of those barroom brawls from old westerns.
Well, here's hoping you have a contest winner.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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Well, I certainly give you props for effort. But who just happens to have a lock-pick kit?
Very creative, author. And an impressive turn at writing a fight scene. Those aren't easy to replicate on paper. This reminded me of those barroom brawls from old westerns.
Well, here's hoping you have a contest winner.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 29-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the excellent review, Lee. Yeah, the lock-pick kit was just something ridiculous to throw in there for my own amusement. Lol. I love to make my stories action packed. Yes, a barroom brawl is about what I was going for. Haha. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes, friend. I'm glad you liked this silly piece. Have a great day.
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, The Entry, is so funny and aimed squarely at the site readers and contest entrants. Great concept here. If I were going to pick at any threads, it would be to note the overuse of the "I" led sentences. The entire center of the story seems to be three paragraphs of I this and I that. It is noticeable to the point that I must point it out for revision, OR applaud it as a reason the author seems to consistently lose to the recently departed James. Irony?
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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This story, The Entry, is so funny and aimed squarely at the site readers and contest entrants. Great concept here. If I were going to pick at any threads, it would be to note the overuse of the "I" led sentences. The entire center of the story seems to be three paragraphs of I this and I that. It is noticeable to the point that I must point it out for revision, OR applaud it as a reason the author seems to consistently lose to the recently departed James. Irony?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the great review, Bill. Yeah, I've been up all night working and I'm tired but wanted to get this silly idea into the contest. I'll see what I can do to fix the overuse of "I's" tonight after some sleep. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. Thank you again.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I like this story, it is so easy to read, understand, enjoy, appeal for it has free flow of thoughts; it is nice how he stole his neighbour's winning story at Fanstory and found it was a huge load of crap, so he entered this story for the contest; well said, well done.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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I like this story, it is so easy to read, understand, enjoy, appeal for it has free flow of thoughts; it is nice how he stole his neighbour's winning story at Fanstory and found it was a huge load of crap, so he entered this story for the contest; well said, well done.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2020
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Wow, thank you so much for the great review and giant sixer, Alcreator. I really appreciate the generous stars and kind comments, friend. I'm glad you liked this silly piece. Have yourself a fantastic day and thank you again.
