O My God and Mother Nature!
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Unseen!"Appreciation of God and Mother Nature
172 total reviews
Comment from KING SLATON
An Haiku is a tricky poem to work with. If I'm not mistaken, a Haiku is supposed to be a 5-7-5 count totaling 17 syllabals to work with.
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An Haiku is a tricky poem to work with. If I'm not mistaken, a Haiku is supposed to be a 5-7-5 count totaling 17 syllabals to work with.
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from Allison F.
Okay, this is better than the others I have read of yours. Well, your first line is good. Except raindrops is one word. Muse him mute? What does this mean? Again, I really feel it would be good to drop the forms and just write what you have to say without the strict guidelines. I get a glimmer of what I think you've intended in this but not enough for me to be bowled over. And I think this is due to the form dictating what you can say. 17 syllables isn't always enough to get it across.
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Okay, this is better than the others I have read of yours. Well, your first line is good. Except raindrops is one word. Muse him mute? What does this mean? Again, I really feel it would be good to drop the forms and just write what you have to say without the strict guidelines. I get a glimmer of what I think you've intended in this but not enough for me to be bowled over. And I think this is due to the form dictating what you can say. 17 syllables isn't always enough to get it across.
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from Lumber_Jack
This poem is wonderful and is ready to publish and submission it is truly wonderful and I just am speech less and it is so touching to me. I love that it is so true, and almost brought tears to my eyes and there was nothing that I did not like.
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This poem is wonderful and is ready to publish and submission it is truly wonderful and I just am speech less and it is so touching to me. I love that it is so true, and almost brought tears to my eyes and there was nothing that I did not like.
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from Mrs Jones
Ok this is a nice one. One I can understand and appreciate. Syllables correct.------------------
Well done
Cheers
Rose
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Ok this is a nice one. One I can understand and appreciate. Syllables correct.------------------
Well done
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from skatermom - Robbi
I noticed that you have quite a few of these. Have you given any thought to putting more than one haiku together, as in a 4 or more stanzas in one post with a common theme? It would give the readers more to reflect upon and allow the expansion of your thoughts.
Rob~
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I noticed that you have quite a few of these. Have you given any thought to putting more than one haiku together, as in a 4 or more stanzas in one post with a common theme? It would give the readers more to reflect upon and allow the expansion of your thoughts.
Rob~
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from JoDavison
nice few lines once again, the rhyme just adds to its clarity of meaning and muse/mute works very well here. i look forward to more of your work again soon
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nice few lines once again, the rhyme just adds to its clarity of meaning and muse/mute works very well here. i look forward to more of your work again soon
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from Senyai
I like this one the best, AllCreator Writer. It is beautiful and moves like living water. Captures that feeling of being drenched in life giving water, saving you.
Enjoyed!
all the best,
Foxey
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I like this one the best, AllCreator Writer. It is beautiful and moves like living water. Captures that feeling of being drenched in life giving water, saving you.
Enjoyed!
all the best,
Foxey
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from rl dubour
Unseen! The unseen even with eyes wide open the things that are most important in this life go unseen. Unfortunate that we have eyes and can not see, ears and can not hear the true beauty of this life. Another short but full imagery Ron
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Unseen! The unseen even with eyes wide open the things that are most important in this life go unseen. Unfortunate that we have eyes and can not see, ears and can not hear the true beauty of this life. Another short but full imagery Ron
Comment Written 30-May-2006
Comment from Sandisan
A good poem. Your sense of rhyme is very good. I believe that your poem
speaks to everything under the sun as God's domain..all reflecting his glory.
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A good poem. Your sense of rhyme is very good. I believe that your poem
speaks to everything under the sun as God's domain..all reflecting his glory.
Comment Written 29-May-2006
Comment from pen pal
Hi alcreator
i liked the first verse
but thought that the rest of the work did not really fit with
the theme that you stated.
kind regards
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Hi alcreator
i liked the first verse
but thought that the rest of the work did not really fit with
the theme that you stated.
kind regards
Comment Written 29-May-2006
