Working it Out
A Proclamation20 total reviews
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Jesse, thanks for this poem. It is not only a proclamation of yourself, which in itself is of great importance, but it is also encouraging to the reader, bearing the message of "intensified drive is required".
Good poem.
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
  |
Jesse, thanks for this poem. It is not only a proclamation of yourself, which in itself is of great importance, but it is also encouraging to the reader, bearing the message of "intensified drive is required".
Good poem.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
-
Thank you, Marjon, for this supremely supportive review. Sorry for the delay in response. It shows no reflection on your wonderful comments. It is always my hope that readers will relate to my personal experience in my poetry, and be able to take away something of value for themselves. Your welcome. And, thanks for this uplifting and encouraging review.
Have a great weekend.
Take care,
Jesse
-
So very welcome, Jesse.
Comment from rama devi
I love this one. So positive. Good rhyming and rhythmic groove, though a couple of spots have awkward punctuation. To maximize flow-fluidity, here are three suggestions:
*
my patience,(NO COMMA) and finite finesse.
Forwardly focused(COMMA) I dare,(NO COMMA)
to beam brightest nary a care.
I especially enjoyed the use of huztpah in the opening sentence:
Working it out with a shout,
to prove what my hutzpah's about.
Upbeat work, and very unique. Bravo.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
|
I love this one. So positive. Good rhyming and rhythmic groove, though a couple of spots have awkward punctuation. To maximize flow-fluidity, here are three suggestions:
*
my patience,(NO COMMA) and finite finesse.
Forwardly focused(COMMA) I dare,(NO COMMA)
to beam brightest nary a care.
I especially enjoyed the use of huztpah in the opening sentence:
Working it out with a shout,
to prove what my hutzpah's about.
Upbeat work, and very unique. Bravo.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 25-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
-
Thanks, Rama, for this excellent and constructive review. After consideration, I made the changes you suggested to this poem. Thanks so much. Also, for your kind comments, I am very appreciative. Have a great day.
Take care,
Jesse
-
Happy to help. Have a great day too! :0
Warmly,
rd
Comment from susand3022
Hey, Jesse... always remember and never forget, you were made for times like these. While the rest of the world is going crazy behind closed doors... people like us are just fine this way. LOL
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
|
Hey, Jesse... always remember and never forget, you were made for times like these. While the rest of the world is going crazy behind closed doors... people like us are just fine this way. LOL
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
-
Thanks, Susan. That is good to remember. Sorry for the delay in responding. Thanks for the excellent review and rating.
Have a great weekend.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Well done in excellent rhythm and rhyme and masterful alliteration throughout. Interesting choice of theme--I trust you will "work it out"; if not, you can always fall back on poetry. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
|
Well done in excellent rhythm and rhyme and masterful alliteration throughout. Interesting choice of theme--I trust you will "work it out"; if not, you can always fall back on poetry. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
-
Thanks, Liz, for this super supportive review. Sorry for the delay in responding. It couldn't be helped. You cover a lot of ground with a few well chosen words. I appreciate your astute view and kind comments. I hope to be remembered, long after I'm gone, for my poetry. Have a great weekend.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with your personal poem about becoming the one you are at this point in your life. Your lines flow well with good imagery, good rhymes, and some alliteration. Your dream can come true with perseverance, You have to take a stand and not give up or let others shit you down. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
|
You did a good job with your personal poem about becoming the one you are at this point in your life. Your lines flow well with good imagery, good rhymes, and some alliteration. Your dream can come true with perseverance, You have to take a stand and not give up or let others shit you down. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
-
Thank you, Jan, for your comprehensive review. Your commentary, as well as your description of the poetic devices used, is very much appreciated. Sorry for the delay in responding. I wish'd I'd had gotten to it sooner. Thank you for your pep talk. It means a lot to me. Have a great weekend.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
Enjoyed your rhyming couplets and the message about taking courage to be all that one is meant to be, to persevere and shine no matter how others may judge.
"to prove what my hutzpah's about." (I believe the word is spelled chutzpah as the 'ch' is that rough breathing sound as the 'ch' in "Bach" as Yiddish and Hebrew has this sound as does German.)
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
|
Enjoyed your rhyming couplets and the message about taking courage to be all that one is meant to be, to persevere and shine no matter how others may judge.
"to prove what my hutzpah's about." (I believe the word is spelled chutzpah as the 'ch' is that rough breathing sound as the 'ch' in "Bach" as Yiddish and Hebrew has this sound as does German.)
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
-
Thank you for your supportive review. I am glad you enjoyed reading this. You got the message very clearly, indeed. Thank you for your suggestion for a different way of spelling the word, "hutzpah." I believe, according to my editor, and Webster's dictionary, both spellings are correct. It is left to the author to choose which spelling they prefer. I appreciate your info on the other way to spell this word. Thank you very much for your excellent review and rating.
Have a great weekend.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from kahpot
" to dream an achievement inspired", "intensified drive is required" very well said, a very inspirational proclamation, very well written as it flows and rhymes throughout, an excellent read****kahpot
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
|
" to dream an achievement inspired", "intensified drive is required" very well said, a very inspirational proclamation, very well written as it flows and rhymes throughout, an excellent read****kahpot
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
-
Thank you so much for this very positive review. Sorry for the delay in responding. It has no reflection on your wonderful and kind comments. I appreciate your thoughtful review and excellent rating. Have a great weekend.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Irish Rain
Wonderfully optimistic.
To beam brightest...everything
you say here is required, especially
the perseverance.
Yay for you, especially in these times.
Also hope you are doing well!
Be safe,
blessings...
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
 |
Wonderfully optimistic.
To beam brightest...everything
you say here is required, especially
the perseverance.
Yay for you, especially in these times.
Also hope you are doing well!
Be safe,
blessings...
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
-
This is so great! Your review and stars make my mouth hurt, I'm smiling so much! I appreciate very much these super positive comments! I am well, and it feels good that you checked in to offer this wonderful gift. I hope you are staying safe and well, too!
Take care,
Jesse
-
You are most welcome and most deserving!! Glad you are well! I'm doing good. I ordered 23 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles and lots of yarn...I'll be busy for at least a year!
-
This is so good to hear! All of what you say.
Have a great weekend!
Jesse
-
You too!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Jesse James Doty
Your Proclamation about Working it Out
I got puzzled what your hutzpah's is saying. What I think you are saying with Secure perseverance will test
your patience, and finite finesse.
We need an intensified drive to fight this present Virus.
Gert
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
|
Hello Jesse James Doty
Your Proclamation about Working it Out
I got puzzled what your hutzpah's is saying. What I think you are saying with Secure perseverance will test
your patience, and finite finesse.
We need an intensified drive to fight this present Virus.
Gert
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
-
Hello Gert.
Thank you for your interesting response to my choice of words describing my working on things in my life. I appreciate the review and the excellent rating.
Take care,
Jesse
-
You are welcome Jesse James Doty
Gert
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and
presentation, Jesse.
-I like your poem with
effective imagery and rhyme.
-You also use alliteration well with
"finite finesse."
-I like this line and the
concluding ones, too:
"To dream an achievement inspired."
-Well done. Have a good evening and
upcoming weekend, too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
|
-Nice artwork and
presentation, Jesse.
-I like your poem with
effective imagery and rhyme.
-You also use alliteration well with
"finite finesse."
-I like this line and the
concluding ones, too:
"To dream an achievement inspired."
-Well done. Have a good evening and
upcoming weekend, too.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-May-2020
-
Hello Pam. Sorry for the delay in responding. Thank you for your astute observations, and your kind words. I always appreciate those who choose a part that speaks to them the most. Thank you.
Have a great upcoming weekend, celebrating May Day with loads of flowers. Remember when those special things were done?
Take care,
Jesse
-
No problem with a late delay, Jesse. You are very welcome for the comments and review. You have a great day and upcoming weekend, too.
-
Thanks, Pam. I appreciate it. Let's both enjoy this lovely day and upcoming weekend.
Jesse
-
I agree, Jesse:)
