The rise of the fire devils.
A short fiction contest entry.24 total reviews
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Fire devil is the background, the real story is about love, exploration and manifestation in appreciation; well said, well done; wish you good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Fire devil is the background, the real story is about love, exploration and manifestation in appreciation; well said, well done; wish you good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from RodG
I really like this entry which handled the required words superbly. I especially like (1) how you set the scene, (2) your 12-year-old narrator who feels the inklings of love after (3) a well-described incident involving "fire devils." I would have given this six stars if you had ended the story with your first paragraph and if the phrase "aged twelve this is true love" weren't so awkward. Rod
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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I really like this entry which handled the required words superbly. I especially like (1) how you set the scene, (2) your 12-year-old narrator who feels the inklings of love after (3) a well-described incident involving "fire devils." I would have given this six stars if you had ended the story with your first paragraph and if the phrase "aged twelve this is true love" weren't so awkward. Rod
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Thank you for your in depth review.
I've made the changes.
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Much, much better.
Comment from Richard J
Goodness!
Talk about a fiery romance, what a start this was ... ohhh-MY!
The way you set and described the scene took me right there with you; I could almost feel the heat from the fire warming my face, and the taste of roasted marshmallows -- there's nothing like it ... yummm!
With so few words, you've certainly pulled-off an interesting story that should fare well in the contest.
Thanks for the sweet moment shared! ~ Richard : )
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Goodness!
Talk about a fiery romance, what a start this was ... ohhh-MY!
The way you set and described the scene took me right there with you; I could almost feel the heat from the fire warming my face, and the taste of roasted marshmallows -- there's nothing like it ... yummm!
With so few words, you've certainly pulled-off an interesting story that should fare well in the contest.
Thanks for the sweet moment shared! ~ Richard : )
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Thank you for your review.
Why, of course.
Comment from Bill Pinder
I like the short story about a 12-year-old girl liking a boy at camp. Sounds like true love sparked that night. Glad the girl didn't get burnt too badly. Keep writing and stay safe. Bill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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I like the short story about a 12-year-old girl liking a boy at camp. Sounds like true love sparked that night. Glad the girl didn't get burnt too badly. Keep writing and stay safe. Bill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the review.
