Broken
I trip on this broken sidewalk all the time...15 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the photo taken of the broken sidewalk that leads somewhere even when it causes an uncomfortable walk on the damaged concrete.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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A very well-written poem about the photo taken of the broken sidewalk that leads somewhere even when it causes an uncomfortable walk on the damaged concrete.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Sandra. :)
Comment from Bill Pinder
I really like this poem! I like the simple focus that starts with a broken sidewalk and conveys the important message that God uses our broken lives even though they feel so messed up at times. This is a powerful message that you have expressed in a creative way. I am going to bookcase this unique poem in a new style.
Bill
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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I really like this poem! I like the simple focus that starts with a broken sidewalk and conveys the important message that God uses our broken lives even though they feel so messed up at times. This is a powerful message that you have expressed in a creative way. I am going to bookcase this unique poem in a new style.
Bill
Comment Written 24-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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Bill, I'm honored that you're bookcasing the poem!
One question, if you don't mind...
I have the title, "Broken", but wonder if it should be the first line of th epoem, as well. I feel like it may put more balance in the visual appearance of the poem, as well as convey the meaning a bit better for those of us who sometimes skip the title (me!)
I do appreciate your kind words and encouragement.
Blessings and stay healthy and sane,
Deb
Comment from smileycloud
the form of your poem is interesting and you have supported is very well indeed
both stanzas pointing me in the right direction
I really like the message and the extreme faithful positiveness of it, but still not blind faith because your poem addresses the problems as well but what an amazing turn around
blessings
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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the form of your poem is interesting and you have supported is very well indeed
both stanzas pointing me in the right direction
I really like the message and the extreme faithful positiveness of it, but still not blind faith because your poem addresses the problems as well but what an amazing turn around
blessings
have a smiley day
Comment Written 23-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2020
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Thank you Susan! I am no Pollyanna, just a person who hopes I can learn and grow. :)
Deb
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blessings
yes we all learn and grow every single moment of our lives
we only reach our ultimate existence when Jesus calls us home
have a smiley day
Comment from June Sargent
I really enjoyed the sentiments expressed in this piece - as well as the newly crafted format! It is unique, but lends well to your subject master. Broken things contrasted with the beautiful. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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I really enjoyed the sentiments expressed in this piece - as well as the newly crafted format! It is unique, but lends well to your subject master. Broken things contrasted with the beautiful. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Thank you, June! I appreciate your encouragement, both for the poem and for e jumping in and just making a format up. (That really made me nervous! lol)
Stay safe and be blessed,
Deb
Comment from Precious Owuamalam
Wonderful as always; great read! Well, there goes the sayin ''no pain, no gain.'' Walking through those side walks will teach the individual a better and different story about life. He can even decide to amend the cracks! That's where life starts from - from compassion.
A grand cover image by the way; and a very strong entry for the contest. My very best wishes in this regard.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Wonderful as always; great read! Well, there goes the sayin ''no pain, no gain.'' Walking through those side walks will teach the individual a better and different story about life. He can even decide to amend the cracks! That's where life starts from - from compassion.
A grand cover image by the way; and a very strong entry for the contest. My very best wishes in this regard.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Precious! I've had friends who've said, 'If I could change one hard part of my life...' Not me! Those difficult times create faith, both in Jesus and in myself. So 'sidewalks', no worries. Falling before lets you know you can get up again.
Stay safe and be blessed,
Deb
Comment from Lance S. Loria
An upbeat poem. I have crossed many broken sidewalks in my lifetime. Sorry to admit I'm a hybrid Texan, but still proud as hell. Living on Lake Conroe. And an Aggies Dad for two kids that graduated. I also commend your creativity designing a poetry style and even giving it an official sounding name!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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An upbeat poem. I have crossed many broken sidewalks in my lifetime. Sorry to admit I'm a hybrid Texan, but still proud as hell. Living on Lake Conroe. And an Aggies Dad for two kids that graduated. I also commend your creativity designing a poetry style and even giving it an official sounding name!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Hello, Lance!
We accept hybrids, as long as they odn't bemoan the lack of seasons. lol. My daddy was from Minnesota, but always said his sould was actually born when he got here. He was pretty cool. :)
Aggies, huh? I grew up in the shadow of the UT tower, but my kids went to a small university near our home. NOT UT, thank goodness! lol.
I appreciate that you read and enjoyed. I'm not normally a poet (I write for kids and am working on a zombie book, of all things!) but I really had fun crafting this. And I created the format because I couldn
t figure out how to say what I wanted to without doing it. :)
Stay safe and be blessed,
Deb
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is so beautiful, it made me cry; so inspirational, it lifted my spirits.
Your thoughtful metaphors convey a powerful message about how God still has a plan for us "broken sidewalks"! I wish I had a 6 left!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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This is so beautiful, it made me cry; so inspirational, it lifted my spirits.
Your thoughtful metaphors convey a powerful message about how God still has a plan for us "broken sidewalks"! I wish I had a 6 left!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Your wish to give me a 6 is just as pleasing to me as if you did so. :)
Thank you. I'm honored and love that you are a fellow 'broken sidewallk'. Not that you went through the mill, but that you came out still knowing God has you in Hi shands and can count on you to do what He plans. :)
Stay safe and be blessed,
Deb
Comment from LisaMay
Virtual 6. I admire how you have woven the thoughts through your poem to a satisfying end. Life has been tough and it's had an impact on you, but with God's care, however rough the path, there can be a beautiful destination.
(Leave those author notes in - I see that you were a bit concerned about how they came across. There are so many variations in poetic forms it is too hard to be aware of them all; if you have inadvertently 'borrowed' someone else's through being unaware of it, I am sure it isn't a hanging offence.)
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Virtual 6. I admire how you have woven the thoughts through your poem to a satisfying end. Life has been tough and it's had an impact on you, but with God's care, however rough the path, there can be a beautiful destination.
(Leave those author notes in - I see that you were a bit concerned about how they came across. There are so many variations in poetic forms it is too hard to be aware of them all; if you have inadvertently 'borrowed' someone else's through being unaware of it, I am sure it isn't a hanging offence.)
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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:) Thank you. The thought that you would give me an exceptional rating if you had one is just as satisfying as if you had done so. I'm honored and so pleased that you enjoyed the poem.
And I HOPE it's not a hanging offense! Even in Texas, that's a bit days-gone-by. lol.
Stay safe and be blessed,
Deb
Comment from J.R. Preston
Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! I wish I had another six star to give you. It was very well crafted with such a powerful message. Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed it very much.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Loved it! Loved it! Loved it! I wish I had another six star to give you. It was very well crafted with such a powerful message. Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed it very much.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Hello, J.R.! It's as much an honor that you think it worth six stars as if you gave it one. I appreciate it so much.
Blessings and health to you and yours,
Debby
Comment from lyenochka
I like it! Your emphasis poem is full of feeling and meaning. Yes, just as Paul said in Galatians 6:2 to "bear one another's burdens," it's our brokenness that connects us and when we connect it is "beautiful." However, I might say that "whole" is a more direct opposite of "broken" but "beautiful" works!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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I like it! Your emphasis poem is full of feeling and meaning. Yes, just as Paul said in Galatians 6:2 to "bear one another's burdens," it's our brokenness that connects us and when we connect it is "beautiful." However, I might say that "whole" is a more direct opposite of "broken" but "beautiful" works!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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I agree that 'whole' would be a better opposite, but it was used in the first stanza and I didn't want to be too repetitive. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the poem and saw the Biblical connection. :)
And I'm also relieved that you weren't offended that I created my own form of poetry! I was a bit worried that the author notes wouldn't go over well. When I told my sister what I'd done, she told me to take the author notes off NOW! lol. And she knows me and my weird sense of humor.
But...since it'sa contest piece, should I remove the silly author notes?
Thank you, as always!
Blessings and health,
Deb
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Your notes are fine - just remove the typo " An Emphasis Poem iis one in "
Then I'd suggest you remove the apology to "serious poets." No one should judge someone between a serious vs. a non-serious poet. Making up new forms is a kind of rite of passage here. There are several poetic forms where the first and last words are antonyms. The Diamante is one. Best wishes in the contest.
