Minnesota Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "Women's Suffrage"Poems About and Around Minnesota
12 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
This is a wonderful achievement, Tom. I know what a challenge it is to write a cohesive crown on any subject. To sustain the form whilst giving a historical account of this kind is awe-inspiring. I take my hat off to you.
There are only very rare occasions where you have had to twist the syntax to achieve a rhyme. They are outweighed by the general consistency.
It's probably just a difference between American English and British English, but I would have written 'shone' on the two occasions where you have used 'shined'. It's more usual when the verb is used intransitively.
One spelling slip in the last sonnet: 19th Am(m)endment.
I was delighted by the understated humour of 'Congressional bedroom boycotts'.
Bravo, Tom!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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This is a wonderful achievement, Tom. I know what a challenge it is to write a cohesive crown on any subject. To sustain the form whilst giving a historical account of this kind is awe-inspiring. I take my hat off to you.
There are only very rare occasions where you have had to twist the syntax to achieve a rhyme. They are outweighed by the general consistency.
It's probably just a difference between American English and British English, but I would have written 'shone' on the two occasions where you have used 'shined'. It's more usual when the verb is used intransitively.
One spelling slip in the last sonnet: 19th Am(m)endment.
I was delighted by the understated humour of 'Congressional bedroom boycotts'.
Bravo, Tom!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Hi Tony,
I appreciate your review and insightful comments. I will correct that typo. Glad you appreciated the history, and understated humor. Thanks for the 6 stars as well.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Crown of Heroic Sonnets about historic events over the years about the women's suffrage and the way they proof themselves as worthy citizens to run and manage a country just as well as men can.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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A very well-written Crown of Heroic Sonnets about historic events over the years about the women's suffrage and the way they proof themselves as worthy citizens to run and manage a country just as well as men can.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you Sandra. Amazing it took so long.
Comment from Pantygynt
Well, hello again. It is great to see you back. You have been absent from my screen too long. There was not a contest for this form this year, and we have many new members here on FanStory who may not be be aware of what you were attempting. Perhaps your note could be expanded to explain the form to those who may be unaware of it.
With there being no contest, you will be spared the remarks of the compliance committee, who in the past have failed to appreciate metrical substitution, demanding iambic perfection throughout which can get boring in a work of this length.
Having written a few of these myself (as a result of reading one of yours in my first few days on the site), I appreciate what you are up against especially when attempting a detailed history, but I did feel I had been overkilled with facts, dates and names, also initials representing organisations. Such things are a little dry even in prosaic history books, and in poetry, apart from challenging the poet to engineer them into the metrical structure, they serve little purpose to my mind. That however is purely a personal opinion.
In this country we had a lot of drama around the suffragette movement, imprisonment, hunger strikes and force feeding. We had women chaining themselves to railings and one who was killed when she threw herself under the king's horse during the Epsom Derby. Did you experience similar drama in the USA? To my mind it is more important that folks should be reminded of the events and their outcomes than for them to know the names and dates.
I am equally sure that my old history teachers are all spinning in their graves when they read my heresies in this respect.
Clearly this has been a piece of detailed and painstaking work and should be rewarded as such. Oh yes! Please don't disappear for another twelvemonth now!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Well, hello again. It is great to see you back. You have been absent from my screen too long. There was not a contest for this form this year, and we have many new members here on FanStory who may not be be aware of what you were attempting. Perhaps your note could be expanded to explain the form to those who may be unaware of it.
With there being no contest, you will be spared the remarks of the compliance committee, who in the past have failed to appreciate metrical substitution, demanding iambic perfection throughout which can get boring in a work of this length.
Having written a few of these myself (as a result of reading one of yours in my first few days on the site), I appreciate what you are up against especially when attempting a detailed history, but I did feel I had been overkilled with facts, dates and names, also initials representing organisations. Such things are a little dry even in prosaic history books, and in poetry, apart from challenging the poet to engineer them into the metrical structure, they serve little purpose to my mind. That however is purely a personal opinion.
In this country we had a lot of drama around the suffragette movement, imprisonment, hunger strikes and force feeding. We had women chaining themselves to railings and one who was killed when she threw herself under the king's horse during the Epsom Derby. Did you experience similar drama in the USA? To my mind it is more important that folks should be reminded of the events and their outcomes than for them to know the names and dates.
I am equally sure that my old history teachers are all spinning in their graves when they read my heresies in this respect.
Clearly this has been a piece of detailed and painstaking work and should be rewarded as such. Oh yes! Please don't disappear for another twelvemonth now!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you Pantygynt. I'll try to stick around a bit. Yes, I probably should add the poetic description. I did get off the meter here and there, and twisted some rhyme. Yes there were some interesting activities that I'll likely highlight when I get into the individual bios. I thought for this overview that the names were key to my Minnesota bias. The dates shown were required to describe the depth of the efforts. Sounds like you have some thoughts of your own to chew on regarding such a topic. Good to hear from an old friend. Stay safe and healthy.
Comment from sunnilicious
You have really done some wonderful research. This poem was great. I wish you plenty luck at completing your book. I met a couple historians in another state that do a podcast and give walking tours. So historians do tours. It's a great way to make a friend and get information that's not necessarily publicly know. God bless you :)
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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You have really done some wonderful research. This poem was great. I wish you plenty luck at completing your book. I met a couple historians in another state that do a podcast and give walking tours. So historians do tours. It's a great way to make a friend and get information that's not necessarily publicly know. God bless you :)
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you Alicia, it's good to hear from you and see you still writing. Appreciate that 6 too.
Comment from Joan E.
Welcome back--and how appropriately with this masterful Crown of Heroic Sonnets. I admired your focus on the role of both the Civil War and WWI, that most historians neglect. I enjoyed all of your rhymes and your explanation about how the movement ultimately reached a national scale. Big cheers and best wishes with your book- Joan
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Welcome back--and how appropriately with this masterful Crown of Heroic Sonnets. I admired your focus on the role of both the Civil War and WWI, that most historians neglect. I enjoyed all of your rhymes and your explanation about how the movement ultimately reached a national scale. Big cheers and best wishes with your book- Joan
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you Joan. It is good to hear from you. I am glad you liked the poem. Thank you for the best wishes and that 6 .
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Beautifully comprehensive history of American women's suffrage, in poetic form. The rhymes and meter aren't always consistent, but usually work well, yet the content is the central focus here, as you have brought together efforts made by women and some men in various parts of the nation, over a period of time, notably spanning the course of two wars and the intervening years, and culminating in the passage of the 19th Amendment, finally granting women the hard-won right to vote.
Suggested edits:
They shined,
-->
They shone,
(sometimes "shined" can be used, but "shone" is preferred when there is no object)
A women's voting rights
-->
A woman's voting rights
Any further offers where on the outs.
-->
Any further offers were on the outs.
For women shined
-->
For women shone
(similar to above)
This is a very impressive presentation of the efforts made in furtherance of our women's voting rights, artfully made.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
|
Beautifully comprehensive history of American women's suffrage, in poetic form. The rhymes and meter aren't always consistent, but usually work well, yet the content is the central focus here, as you have brought together efforts made by women and some men in various parts of the nation, over a period of time, notably spanning the course of two wars and the intervening years, and culminating in the passage of the 19th Amendment, finally granting women the hard-won right to vote.
Suggested edits:
They shined,
-->
They shone,
(sometimes "shined" can be used, but "shone" is preferred when there is no object)
A women's voting rights
-->
A woman's voting rights
Any further offers where on the outs.
-->
Any further offers were on the outs.
For women shined
-->
For women shone
(similar to above)
This is a very impressive presentation of the efforts made in furtherance of our women's voting rights, artfully made.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you Mary Kay for your review and thoughtful comments.
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You're very welcome. - Mary Kay
Comment from R56Ma3
A great poem of war and women who fought for the right to vote and the rights of people in the United States. I have really enjoyed reading your poem. Very well done! :)
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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A great poem of war and women who fought for the right to vote and the rights of people in the United States. I have really enjoyed reading your poem. Very well done! :)
Comment Written 18-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you R56Ma3
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Sure welcome and have a great day :)
Comment from Cass Carlton
This piece is dear and near to my heart, as it deals with women's suffrage and the rights of women to live as free people who determine their own path in life. Not just as a wife, a mother, sister, daughter, but as a cognizant person with opinions and desires of her own that don't copy her father's or her husband's. Your research in creating this piece is exhaustive
and thorough, which would surely win the six star award for nothing else.
As a non American, the many names contained within these words aren't known to me, but I am sure that each name resounds loud and clear in the annals of Women's struggle for equal rights. Welll done cheers Cass
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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This piece is dear and near to my heart, as it deals with women's suffrage and the rights of women to live as free people who determine their own path in life. Not just as a wife, a mother, sister, daughter, but as a cognizant person with opinions and desires of her own that don't copy her father's or her husband's. Your research in creating this piece is exhaustive
and thorough, which would surely win the six star award for nothing else.
As a non American, the many names contained within these words aren't known to me, but I am sure that each name resounds loud and clear in the annals of Women's struggle for equal rights. Welll done cheers Cass
Comment Written 18-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much Cass. I appreciate your thoughtful review and comments, especially for reading such a long poem. I am please you enjoyed the history as well.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Hi Tom, how nice to see you on here again! And what a come-back you've made with this wonderful poem. The Woman's Suffrage was featured in my third novel, the last of my Trilogy, and it was interesting reading about the women's fight in your country, Tom, and compare it to the UK women. They were amazing, all of them. Roy Owen, on here, told me about the Australian fight for the vote. They received it at the end of the 19th century, so they won it before we did. It was after the 1st WW, and after all the work the women did during the war, the government could hardly refuse it. This is going to be an interesting book when you've finished it. I wish you lots of luck and look forward to reading your next one. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2020
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Hi Tom, how nice to see you on here again! And what a come-back you've made with this wonderful poem. The Woman's Suffrage was featured in my third novel, the last of my Trilogy, and it was interesting reading about the women's fight in your country, Tom, and compare it to the UK women. They were amazing, all of them. Roy Owen, on here, told me about the Australian fight for the vote. They received it at the end of the 19th century, so they won it before we did. It was after the 1st WW, and after all the work the women did during the war, the government could hardly refuse it. This is going to be an interesting book when you've finished it. I wish you lots of luck and look forward to reading your next one. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 18-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2020
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Thank you Sandra. It has been several months since I've been on. Good to hear from old friends. I see you and others have carried the story as well. Wonderful! Glad to see you are still here and writing.
Comment from amada
What a wonderful way to learn about the women movement, its start, development and final installment. As a woman, I think this is a story about me. I worked for many years without ever thinking of the struggle that took effect to give me that privilege.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2020
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What a wonderful way to learn about the women movement, its start, development and final installment. As a woman, I think this is a story about me. I worked for many years without ever thinking of the struggle that took effect to give me that privilege.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2020
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Thank you Amada, I am please you enjoyed and learned.
