Tick-Tock
Sometimes you're in a time-sensitive situation.22 total reviews
Comment from thoughtgame2
Very different from any poem I ever read. Thank you for sharing. I can see by your rankings that you take your craft very seriously, it reminds me of a
conversation with my nephew who is a notable chess champion. He said to me in play ...unc you have be be serious at this game. my reply was, sometimes seriousness takes all the fun out of it..
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Very different from any poem I ever read. Thank you for sharing. I can see by your rankings that you take your craft very seriously, it reminds me of a
conversation with my nephew who is a notable chess champion. He said to me in play ...unc you have be be serious at this game. my reply was, sometimes seriousness takes all the fun out of it..
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Thank you for reviewing, however it isn't a poem, it's a story! If you think it's a poem, maybe that's why you chose to rate it as a 4.
I am serious about both my poems and my stories, and this "dribble," at 50 words, is still a serious story.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Ooooh! Now I want to know more! Those walks in wilderness can surprise us, and your little story, written as well as it is, makes the circumstances seem highly believable. well done. Best of luck in the contests.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Ooooh! Now I want to know more! Those walks in wilderness can surprise us, and your little story, written as well as it is, makes the circumstances seem highly believable. well done. Best of luck in the contests.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much, Dawn, for that really great review of my story. Your comments mean a lot and are much appreciated!
- Mary Kay xoxo
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You're very welcome. I'll try to return again soon. :)
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Thank you again, Dawn! - Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from January L'Angelle
I liked this story. Betty found herself in a fix and her husband didn't really do much to save her, except call 911. I got a sense of urgency and that was good. There was a bit of humor in there too. Your Dribble Flash Fiction was fun. Well done. Respectfully, -January L.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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I liked this story. Betty found herself in a fix and her husband didn't really do much to save her, except call 911. I got a sense of urgency and that was good. There was a bit of humor in there too. Your Dribble Flash Fiction was fun. Well done. Respectfully, -January L.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Thank you, January, for your great review. Maybe the husband could have done more. But I'm putting my money on 911. I appreciate your thoughts. - Mary Kay
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Oh my God! This is suspense! To be stuck in quicksand is one of my nightmares. But in this flash fiction, it is worse, Here is a husband present throwing her tree limbs to ... hold onto, and did nothing else but calling 911 and wait. Brrr. Yes, I hope they are in time.
Super story!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Oh my God! This is suspense! To be stuck in quicksand is one of my nightmares. But in this flash fiction, it is worse, Here is a husband present throwing her tree limbs to ... hold onto, and did nothing else but calling 911 and wait. Brrr. Yes, I hope they are in time.
Super story!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Marjon, for your great review. I don't know if the husband was able to hold onto the other end of the tree limbs to pull her out, or if the attempt would have been impossible or futile. I was running out of words, lol. I hope help came on time too!
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Welcome!
Comment from bhogg
Well, it does tell a story. Hard for me to tell if some of this was tongue in cheek. I suppose throwing in limbs makes more sense than for poor Betty to struggle and get deeper. I suppose he could have stuck one of the limbs out and say something clever like, "grab this dumb-ass"
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Well, it does tell a story. Hard for me to tell if some of this was tongue in cheek. I suppose throwing in limbs makes more sense than for poor Betty to struggle and get deeper. I suppose he could have stuck one of the limbs out and say something clever like, "grab this dumb-ass"
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Thanks for your excellent review. No, the husband is sincere, but he can't very well get into the quicksand with her! It's not tongue-in-cheek, although the explanation by my title is, somewhat. I wouldn't have him mocking his wife, who could easily die in her predicament, although that would have made an outrageous punchline. - Mary Kay
Comment from Alchera
The title (Tick Tock) of this Dribbling Flash Fiction is ambiguous and doesn't leave a real way out with its incipit: "I'm stuck, up to my waist."
It's an embarrassing situation of which easily leaves the "hypocrite lecture" questioning about the poor woman husband's state of mind and intention to leave her there or to save her. I think that this is subjected to multifold interpretations. A perfectly written piece of Dribble Flash Fiction and I personally have enjoyed it all. Chapeau!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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The title (Tick Tock) of this Dribbling Flash Fiction is ambiguous and doesn't leave a real way out with its incipit: "I'm stuck, up to my waist."
It's an embarrassing situation of which easily leaves the "hypocrite lecture" questioning about the poor woman husband's state of mind and intention to leave her there or to save her. I think that this is subjected to multifold interpretations. A perfectly written piece of Dribble Flash Fiction and I personally have enjoyed it all. Chapeau!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much, Tony, my friend. I especially appreciate the six-star rating, the only one I've gotten on this little dribble story! And thank you for your thoughts and comments. Oh, I think he wants to save her, but is also terrified, and doesn't want her to sink any faster as a result of struggling in the quicksand. But yes, the brevity of the story leaves room for interpretation.
You've been on my mind and I hope you're all doing okay, in your home there in Italy, and in your family. God bless you! - Mary Kay
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Ciao Mary Kay! We have to go on struggling and God will help us ,too.Take care of yourselves! I did like your short story. Blesiings. Tony
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Yes, we've got to "keep on keeping on," as a song once said. I agree with you very much. And I'm so glad you liked my story! I had fun writing it, even though it was a scary one. Love and blessings, Mary Kay
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A great hug to you two, dear frinds of mine. Blessings. Tony
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And a great big hug to you and your Seņora! Blessings, Mary Kay
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Wow!Thank you for your hugs and blessings Mary Kay and Ialso gave yours to Grace this morning and she said:" Che bello da New York come stanno?" How are they going on in NY? And she was Happy ,too about You Two, dear friend of mine. See these little moments will keep us living on. Think positive and take care! Have a good evening!Tony
Comment from Y. M. Roger
LOL!! Okay, I shouldn't laugh, but I had to chuckle at your choice of topic here! ;) :) It's very well written though, my lady, with nothing 'left to the imagination' like a lot of the Dribbles! ;) Thanx for sharing and good luck! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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LOL!! Okay, I shouldn't laugh, but I had to chuckle at your choice of topic here! ;) :) It's very well written though, my lady, with nothing 'left to the imagination' like a lot of the Dribbles! ;) Thanx for sharing and good luck! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thanks for your great review, Yvette! Not sure why you found the topic funny, but it's okay... why did I pick it? No idea! You're right, I don't like to write nebulous fiction, flash or otherwise.
Blessings, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written dribble flash fiction about being caught up in quicksand that keeps us kind of captive and we cannot seem to move in any way. Luckily you are not alone and your husband is able to call 911.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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A very well-written dribble flash fiction about being caught up in quicksand that keeps us kind of captive and we cannot seem to move in any way. Luckily you are not alone and your husband is able to call 911.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you for the excellent review. Interesting that you wrote "you." I changed the names, but originally my husband and I were the characters in the story.
- Mary Kay
Comment from Therese Caron
Poor Betty! Her husband certainly did not provide much reassurance! Throwing her tree limbs and telling her they may keep her afloat. You wrote a fun little story with the small number of words allowed. I hope 911 responded quickly. Great little story.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Poor Betty! Her husband certainly did not provide much reassurance! Throwing her tree limbs and telling her they may keep her afloat. You wrote a fun little story with the small number of words allowed. I hope 911 responded quickly. Great little story.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you for your excellent review, Therese. No, her husband was not very reassuring, but I think he was actually as frightened as she was (but with a much better chance of survival ;-). Yes, I hope 911 sent help very, very fast!
- Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and
story to go with it, Mary Kay.
-Gerald doesn't seem to
have much in the way of patience:)
-He certainly didn't be too
concerned about Betty, either.
-Maybe Betty will surprise him
and that could be the next dribble!
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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-Good artwork and
story to go with it, Mary Kay.
-Gerald doesn't seem to
have much in the way of patience:)
-He certainly didn't be too
concerned about Betty, either.
-Maybe Betty will surprise him
and that could be the next dribble!
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Thank you for your excellent review, Pam. I guess Gerald's behavior is open to interpretation -- he was actually trying to "take charge" and stop her from sinking faster (which is what happens when you struggle in quicksand). I could have had him shout, "Betty, oh no! We have to get you out of there!" But in 50 words, I thought his actions and advice would be more important.
I was blessed to find that artwork. I started out thinking of a picture of quicksand, but that could be kind of confusing to look at, as compared to any other kind of soil, sand or hole -- plus it doesn't make a very exciting picture. I thought a clock would be much more effective, and I found a very surreal one in FanArt.
I will consider a follow-up dribble, or other flash fiction, to save Betty...
I appreciate your thoughts and comments! - Mary Kay
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You are very welcome, Mary Kay, and thank you for the great reply. I can see why you wouldn't want a quicksand picture. I always thought that was really scary stuff. It used to be in a lot of movies back in the day. I don't think changing what he said would be telling. The way you did it was more interesting because it was open to interpretation. I think a follow up would be great:)
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True, you don't see much quicksand in movies anymore. Thanks again, Pam! - Mary Kay
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I'm glad, too! You are very welcome, Mary Kay.
