Tandem Bike
Winter Haiku 4/7/615 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
cobblestones shine
as cold wind blows through her hair --
alone, she rides tandem
I gather she does not know that someone is watching her, and intends to harm her.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2020
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cobblestones shine
as cold wind blows through her hair --
alone, she rides tandem
I gather she does not know that someone is watching her, and intends to harm her.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2020
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The haiku captures a moment in time. The woman is alone and lost someone because tandem is a bike for two and now she is alone.
Thank you, Mark, I appreciate your review.
Comment from Joan E.
Your 4-7-6 haiku creates a fascinating contrast between her riding a tandem bicycle alone. The picture of shiny, isolated cobblestones reinforces the theme well. Well done- Joan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2020
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Your 4-7-6 haiku creates a fascinating contrast between her riding a tandem bicycle alone. The picture of shiny, isolated cobblestones reinforces the theme well. Well done- Joan
Comment Written 10-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Joan, I appreciate your time and effort. Take care my friend
Comment from June Sargent
Your words and artwork reflect the sense of loneliness that she feels. Riding the tandem bike by herself presents a very sad image. Especially on a cool, damp night with the wind blowing through her hair. Victorian feel to it...with gaslights in the background. I enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2020
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Your words and artwork reflect the sense of loneliness that she feels. Riding the tandem bike by herself presents a very sad image. Especially on a cool, damp night with the wind blowing through her hair. Victorian feel to it...with gaslights in the background. I enjoyed this.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much for your review.
Comment from Ulla
Hola, Marival, again you have delivered a lovely haiku, and I loved it. The imagery is superb. I'm glad you agree with the modern forms of haiku, as well. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
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Hola, Marival, again you have delivered a lovely haiku, and I loved it. The imagery is superb. I'm glad you agree with the modern forms of haiku, as well. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 09-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
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Yes, I agree with contemporary haiku and classical. Thank you very much for your review.
Comment from LisaMay
It's a rough ride on cobblestones, however pretty they look. You captured the wintry chill of loneliness very well in this haiku (you handle these short writes very skilfully).
(On a lighter note: I hope her accompanying tandem rider was sitting at the back when he fell off, haha! Maybe she's pleased he did and she's pedalling to the pub for a stiff drink to warm up and comb her no doubt tangled hair. She should have been wearing a cycle helmet. She'd get fined here in NZ.)
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
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It's a rough ride on cobblestones, however pretty they look. You captured the wintry chill of loneliness very well in this haiku (you handle these short writes very skilfully).
(On a lighter note: I hope her accompanying tandem rider was sitting at the back when he fell off, haha! Maybe she's pleased he did and she's pedalling to the pub for a stiff drink to warm up and comb her no doubt tangled hair. She should have been wearing a cycle helmet. She'd get fined here in NZ.)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
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Heh heh heh....I like your version of my haiku. I sure need a stiff one just about now. Wish I could accompany you to the closest pub.
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Wouldn't that be so cool! What would you order? I think I'll have a Harvey Wallbanger (but that i am sure has bad connotations these days, thanks to Mr. Weinstein).
Comment from lyenochka
That says a lot that "alone she rides tandem." It's only the wind that is playing with her hair. The 'aloneness' is emphasized by the picture of her riding a bike meant for two.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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That says a lot that "alone she rides tandem." It's only the wind that is playing with her hair. The 'aloneness' is emphasized by the picture of her riding a bike meant for two.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much for your review, you got my haiku perfectly. Take care of yourself my friend.
Comment from sandy montgomery
This brings up images of dark alleys and dark purposes a foot. I love the "cobble stones shine". The last line leaves us with a mystery why does she ride a tandem bike? Perhaps a broken love affair or something more sinister? Good poetrymakes us see beyond the words as readers. You have definitely done a fine job as author here.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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This brings up images of dark alleys and dark purposes a foot. I love the "cobble stones shine". The last line leaves us with a mystery why does she ride a tandem bike? Perhaps a broken love affair or something more sinister? Good poetrymakes us see beyond the words as readers. You have definitely done a fine job as author here.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much for your review. Take care of yourself my friend.
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine haiku, Gypsy--you know, i thought I was riding a tandem bike, but then my wife became my ex, the handle bars fell off, and I went pinwheeling off a cliff--and could I bitch anymore?
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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Another fine haiku, Gypsy--you know, i thought I was riding a tandem bike, but then my wife became my ex, the handle bars fell off, and I went pinwheeling off a cliff--and could I bitch anymore?
Comment Written 08-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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Hello, Mike, heh heh heh... Thank you very much, Mike, I appreciate your reviews and your good humor.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
cobblestones shine
as cold wind blows through her hair --
this gives a very descriptive image for the reader.
Then the almost sad satori to give the touch
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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cobblestones shine
as cold wind blows through her hair --
this gives a very descriptive image for the reader.
Then the almost sad satori to give the touch
Comment Written 08-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much, my friend, I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from Janetsue
The inherent sadness easily comes through in these three short lines. It is an excellent haiku. I'm also thinking that it has to be a bit of a struggle riding alone on a tandem bike...a good analogy for life when we feel isolated and help hasn't arrived to assist us in our need.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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The inherent sadness easily comes through in these three short lines. It is an excellent haiku. I'm also thinking that it has to be a bit of a struggle riding alone on a tandem bike...a good analogy for life when we feel isolated and help hasn't arrived to assist us in our need.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
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Thank you very much, my friend, I appreciate your kind review. I am so happy you got my haiku. :)
