NaPoWriMo 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Dream Swirls"Annual napowrimo prologue and poetry submission
9 total reviews
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hi Alicia,
With the very different rhyme scheme, your poem is a cross between Free Verse and Rhymed Quatrains. It works for me too. :)
It's funny the things we can dream. "Is my life without a moon disillusionment?" (right there! ... that's the crux of the poem, and my fave line.)
Well done, Alicia!
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
  |
Hi Alicia,
With the very different rhyme scheme, your poem is a cross between Free Verse and Rhymed Quatrains. It works for me too. :)
It's funny the things we can dream. "Is my life without a moon disillusionment?" (right there! ... that's the crux of the poem, and my fave line.)
Well done, Alicia!
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 06-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2020
-
Hi Connie! You're very kind. Thank you. Hearts & hugs, Alicia
God bless you :)
Comment from Mary Hollingsworth
Sunni, this is Mary Hollingsworth I told you would look you up when I got back on my other page well here I am. This is a great combination of soft tranquil music to a dream that really takes you deeper into it I can't really explain how it makes me feel other than a peaceful tranquil feeling. And when reading your piece and listening to this music it's like I was in your dream with you. Where did you find such a peaceful tranquil music like this. Anyway you pulled me into your dream and I find myself right in the middle of the swirl with you. This was a fabulous read I loved it. PLEASE look up my new entry I probably won't do another one but I ended the rhyme contest: The Fly's Oath to Silence
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
|
Sunni, this is Mary Hollingsworth I told you would look you up when I got back on my other page well here I am. This is a great combination of soft tranquil music to a dream that really takes you deeper into it I can't really explain how it makes me feel other than a peaceful tranquil feeling. And when reading your piece and listening to this music it's like I was in your dream with you. Where did you find such a peaceful tranquil music like this. Anyway you pulled me into your dream and I find myself right in the middle of the swirl with you. This was a fabulous read I loved it. PLEASE look up my new entry I probably won't do another one but I ended the rhyme contest: The Fly's Oath to Silence
Comment Written 06-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2020
-
Hi Mary! You're very nice. Thank you
Be careful, Stay safe and strong :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem and an excellent description of your dream. We can sometimes learn who we are and what we really need to live a reasonable happy life in earth.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
|
A very well-written poem and an excellent description of your dream. We can sometimes learn who we are and what we really need to live a reasonable happy life in earth.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
-
Hi Sandra. Thank you :)
Comment from VanessaDanRun
Thank you for sharing! I'm reading this right before I go to sleep so hopefully it will do the same to me as it has done to you as you described in the poem. There is only one line I think has a typo.
"I saw our clasp hands together with confusion."
Maybe should be instead,
"I saw us clasp hands together with confusion."
Thank you again!
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
 |
Thank you for sharing! I'm reading this right before I go to sleep so hopefully it will do the same to me as it has done to you as you described in the poem. There is only one line I think has a typo.
"I saw our clasp hands together with confusion."
Maybe should be instead,
"I saw us clasp hands together with confusion."
Thank you again!
Comment Written 05-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
-
Hi! It was a stranger. I'll think how to revise best. I appreciate your edit note. Thank you. Sleep well. Be safe and stay strong :)
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your rhymed quatrains recounting your fantastical dream. I am glad you enjoyed such a deep sleep under the moon. I still wonder who the "tall man" was... Smiles and sweet dreams tonight- Joan
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
|
I admired your rhymed quatrains recounting your fantastical dream. I am glad you enjoyed such a deep sleep under the moon. I still wonder who the "tall man" was... Smiles and sweet dreams tonight- Joan
Comment Written 04-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
-
Hi Joan! Maybe a man that watched the same video. It's funny to think what can induce our unconsiousness. You're nice. Thank you
Be careful and try to stay home. God bless you :)
-
Maybe, the man from Ipanema! More smiles- Joan
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Alicia. This is delightful. I'm going to watch the video now and see if I have a spectacular dream. Interesting post. Loved your poem. I saw our clasp (clasped?) hands together with confusion. Marilyn
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
|
Hi Alicia. This is delightful. I'm going to watch the video now and see if I have a spectacular dream. Interesting post. Loved your poem. I saw our clasp (clasped?) hands together with confusion. Marilyn
Comment Written 04-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
-
Hi Marilyn! You're the best. Thank you. God bless you :)
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for sharing your lovely space dream with us. They do play such sleep-inducing music with those space videos. But I love how you went to space and had a connection with a loving stranger.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
|
Thank you for sharing your lovely space dream with us. They do play such sleep-inducing music with those space videos. But I love how you went to space and had a connection with a loving stranger.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
-
Hi Helen! I might be single, but romance is part of me. You're nice. Thank you :)
Comment from royowen
I seem to remember you always bravely tackle these Alicia, a wonderful accomplishment my friend. You are indeed a unique person, anybody would lucky to have you as a partner. Beautifully written my friend, it's variation gives it charm, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
|
I seem to remember you always bravely tackle these Alicia, a wonderful accomplishment my friend. You are indeed a unique person, anybody would lucky to have you as a partner. Beautifully written my friend, it's variation gives it charm, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
-
Hi Roy! You're very kind to say. Thank you. God bless you. Be careful :)
-
Bless you
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Author, I found I liked all of this poem except the last line. you don't have to change it just for me, but a whole last stanza with different rhyme scheme would keep you from using a phrase like "stuck in the boons"
Moon even has better rhymes than "boons."
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
|
Dear Author, I found I liked all of this poem except the last line. you don't have to change it just for me, but a whole last stanza with different rhyme scheme would keep you from using a phrase like "stuck in the boons"
Moon even has better rhymes than "boons."
Comment Written 04-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2020
-
Hi! Boons... I was thinking of it being used as content with God. A spiritual bond. I appreciate your edit note. I'll think about how to modify it. Thank you.
Be careful, stay safe and strong. God bless you :)
