Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "I Enjoy!"Experiences of living
139 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alcreator, you did a great job writing this rictameter poem about the way our needs are met, though sometimes not our wants. i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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this is very well written, alcreator, you did a great job writing this rictameter poem about the way our needs are met, though sometimes not our wants. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR EXCELLENT REVIEW.
Comment from Black_Oxygen
This poetry transports the reader onto a fantastic
journey. With very few words, limits are stretched
and boundaries are expanded. Thank You for your
creation.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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This poetry transports the reader onto a fantastic
journey. With very few words, limits are stretched
and boundaries are expanded. Thank You for your
creation.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR CREATIVE REVIEW.
Comment from Jean Lutz
I know little about the mechanics of writing so I am not able to give the professional review you ask for. However I do know when something moves me. This offering went straight to my soul and I understood not knowing the "why".
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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I know little about the mechanics of writing so I am not able to give the professional review you ask for. However I do know when something moves me. This offering went straight to my soul and I understood not knowing the "why".
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR HONEST REVIEW.
Comment from donaldww
This poem is written as a Rictameter Poem, which has a strict syllable count. Your poem has numerous lines with the wrong syllable count:
whate'er asked = 3 syllables.
though differently, I know, = 7 syllables (differently has 4)
my science thought goes wrong, as = 7 syllables
unexplained power 'yond mort' offers all per = 11 syllables
I guess this one was too devilishly difficult to discharge.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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This poem is written as a Rictameter Poem, which has a strict syllable count. Your poem has numerous lines with the wrong syllable count:
whate'er asked = 3 syllables.
though differently, I know, = 7 syllables (differently has 4)
my science thought goes wrong, as = 7 syllables
unexplained power 'yond mort' offers all per = 11 syllables
I guess this one was too devilishly difficult to discharge.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR PROFESSIONAL REVIEW.
I HAVE RE-WORKED. PLEASE CHECK NOW.
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Ok. I checked. It's perfect now.
Cheers,
DW
Comment from prayingpoet
Well, I guess this is a different way of looking through your lenses at your creator and the unexplained power, the unseen eye watching over us.
( which I believe is God )
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Well, I guess this is a different way of looking through your lenses at your creator and the unexplained power, the unseen eye watching over us.
( which I believe is God )
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEW.
Comment from Harv
lets say first off this makes me want to go on reading more to see where all this comes from and where it is going, interesting idea
the voice is specific and deep and calling to get to the end of the road where it is leading one to learn, lean, find hope,
i'm glad you put in the backround, or i'd be lost but with the explanation done well- mood set- i can follow
when i look back i can see the arrow and i hear this like a song
definitely one poem to let stew and it gets better as it does
thanks for the post
given,
whate'er asked,
though differently, I know,- my favorite part
my needs, ask not,
given. - confused a bit by this part, i have to change it around in my head to get meaning.
blessings
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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lets say first off this makes me want to go on reading more to see where all this comes from and where it is going, interesting idea
the voice is specific and deep and calling to get to the end of the road where it is leading one to learn, lean, find hope,
i'm glad you put in the backround, or i'd be lost but with the explanation done well- mood set- i can follow
when i look back i can see the arrow and i hear this like a song
definitely one poem to let stew and it gets better as it does
thanks for the post
given,
whate'er asked,
though differently, I know,- my favorite part
my needs, ask not,
given. - confused a bit by this part, i have to change it around in my head to get meaning.
blessings
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR WONDERFUL THOROUGH REVIEW.
THOUGH I HAVE RE-WORKED.
Comment from stanzasandstuff
Well, this is very different and I have not heard of a Rictametre poem. At first I thought, what? Thanks for explaining the concept. It's clever but in all honesty, it's not the type of poem that I would buy myself. Poetry is so subjective I guess. It's well done though.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Well, this is very different and I have not heard of a Rictametre poem. At first I thought, what? Thanks for explaining the concept. It's clever but in all honesty, it's not the type of poem that I would buy myself. Poetry is so subjective I guess. It's well done though.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR FAIR REVIEW.
Comment from Treischel
Nicely formatted Rictameter poem. Finely balanced, between science and the natural order, it states the grand question that troubled mankind throughout history. Can the mortal mind comprehend the unexplained power behind it all? Nicely done in a manner requiring thought.
I think it would be more dramatic, yet no more profound, if you centered the text.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Nicely formatted Rictameter poem. Finely balanced, between science and the natural order, it states the grand question that troubled mankind throughout history. Can the mortal mind comprehend the unexplained power behind it all? Nicely done in a manner requiring thought.
I think it would be more dramatic, yet no more profound, if you centered the text.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR PROFESSIONAL SUGGESTIVE REVIEW.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend using this form I liked the way you used abbreviations and put them below the work well done my friend regards Jill
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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Yes this is well written my friend using this form I liked the way you used abbreviations and put them below the work well done my friend regards Jill
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR YOUR NICE APPRECIABLE REVIEW.
Comment from Bill Schott
I enjoy the change ups in format. About the words that you've abbreviated... are these your abbr. or standard ones? I ask because I applaud the use and then the explanation later.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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I enjoy the change ups in format. About the words that you've abbreviated... are these your abbr. or standard ones? I ask because I applaud the use and then the explanation later.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for the review
