Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "I Enjoy!"Experiences of living
139 total reviews
Comment from 96744mom
creatively written, rictameter syllable counts all good, great title and meaning in between the lines and behind the words. no further comments are needed, no changes need either. great write. rictameters sure is fun to work with.
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creatively written, rictameter syllable counts all good, great title and meaning in between the lines and behind the words. no further comments are needed, no changes need either. great write. rictameters sure is fun to work with.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from Wyld Mumsy
Oh, I really like this rictameter.
natural, unknown, mystic ord
an unseen eye keeps track
my needs, not ask - excellent lines
Different, but all the better. Nice job!
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Oh, I really like this rictameter.
natural, unknown, mystic ord
an unseen eye keeps track
my needs, not ask - excellent lines
Different, but all the better. Nice job!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from MaddyB
Alcreator
This is a thought full rictameter. The unexplained power knows and answers all our prayers, though maybe not as we expect not always what we want, but what we need.
Good job
Maddy
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Alcreator
This is a thought full rictameter. The unexplained power knows and answers all our prayers, though maybe not as we expect not always what we want, but what we need.
Good job
Maddy
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from NettieC
Hi Alcreator,
I've read this several times and though I see it as getting help, though not necessarily the type you asked for, I found it difficult to get into. I have to ask whether 'yond, mort and ord are abbreviations you normally use or whether you've used them just to fit the syllable count?
Thanks for the opportunity to review
love Nettie
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Hi Alcreator,
I've read this several times and though I see it as getting help, though not necessarily the type you asked for, I found it difficult to get into. I have to ask whether 'yond, mort and ord are abbreviations you normally use or whether you've used them just to fit the syllable count?
Thanks for the opportunity to review
love Nettie
Comment Written 04-Apr-2006
Comment from ishta
I sometimes get some of these better than others, though my study is new. Your interesting piece is lovely in content, as far as I can tell. Thanks for allowing my review. Be blessed. Very lovely!
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I sometimes get some of these better than others, though my study is new. Your interesting piece is lovely in content, as far as I can tell. Thanks for allowing my review. Be blessed. Very lovely!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2006
Comment from volunteer angel
I had to read this about three times to figure it out. As a rictameter, the syllables are fine. From the message I gather that you had a little trouble with your studies in Sci-Phil-Math and asked for help. Then help was given but in a different way.
Did I get it right? I wondered if this couldn't be a little more clear, but with limited words, you've done a good job! V.A.
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I had to read this about three times to figure it out. As a rictameter, the syllables are fine. From the message I gather that you had a little trouble with your studies in Sci-Phil-Math and asked for help. Then help was given but in a different way.
Did I get it right? I wondered if this couldn't be a little more clear, but with limited words, you've done a good job! V.A.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2006
Comment from TrueBeliever
Hello Alcreator Writer, I wonder should I be worried, cause this made all the sence in the world to me. Great job...inpactful creative wording. Continued success. TB
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Hello Alcreator Writer, I wonder should I be worried, cause this made all the sence in the world to me. Great job...inpactful creative wording. Continued success. TB
Comment Written 03-Apr-2006
Comment from bappjf
I love your use of dialect (and I thank you for explaining it). The syllable count is off, however, as these two lines both have 9 (one shouldbe 8 and the other 10)
per the unexplained power 'yond mort'
as natural, unknown, mystic ord
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I love your use of dialect (and I thank you for explaining it). The syllable count is off, however, as these two lines both have 9 (one shouldbe 8 and the other 10)
per the unexplained power 'yond mort'
as natural, unknown, mystic ord
Comment Written 02-Apr-2006
Comment from Senyai
This is quite a little gem, Alcreator Writer. There is a lot that can be read into this, at least I am seeing a lot, perhaps some that isn't there. LOL. Seriously, I did like this rictameter as it said for me, a very gracious statement that the Lord knows best. I particularly liked the way you omitted many prepositions that would have weighed down the flow of this well thought out verse.
My pleasure to read and review,
Foxey
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This is quite a little gem, Alcreator Writer. There is a lot that can be read into this, at least I am seeing a lot, perhaps some that isn't there. LOL. Seriously, I did like this rictameter as it said for me, a very gracious statement that the Lord knows best. I particularly liked the way you omitted many prepositions that would have weighed down the flow of this well thought out verse.
My pleasure to read and review,
Foxey
Comment Written 02-Apr-2006
Comment from grannyeri
Everyone has different things that they do well, some that they might even excel in, but these qualities are one that should not be taken for granted, and not used for the wrong purposes. Line syllables seem to be 2,4,6,9,9,6,4,2 when they should read 2,4,6,8,10,8,6,4,2. Some tweaking of the words would make the syllables meet the requirements of a rictameter. Not sure if all the abbreviations should be there just to make the syllables meet the line totals. Think this could be modified somewhat to make an excellent poem of this form.
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Everyone has different things that they do well, some that they might even excel in, but these qualities are one that should not be taken for granted, and not used for the wrong purposes. Line syllables seem to be 2,4,6,9,9,6,4,2 when they should read 2,4,6,8,10,8,6,4,2. Some tweaking of the words would make the syllables meet the requirements of a rictameter. Not sure if all the abbreviations should be there just to make the syllables meet the line totals. Think this could be modified somewhat to make an excellent poem of this form.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2006
