Your Closet--Not Mine!
To honor the wishes of the dead?30 total reviews
Comment from Rikki66
When my sister started living with her girlfriend, my parents pretended they were just friends, room-mates nothing more. they knew the truth but it was better to be in denial just as Mary had been.
RikkiLXXlll
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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When my sister started living with her girlfriend, my parents pretended they were just friends, room-mates nothing more. they knew the truth but it was better to be in denial just as Mary had been.
RikkiLXXlll
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Happens frequently--especially in the "old days." In my area, in the early 1900s, they called female live-in relationships "Boston Marriages." In my play, Mary was OK with it but pretended not to know out of respect for her closeted brother. Thanks for stopping by. Cheers. LIZ
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Cheers! Rikki
Comment from Ric Myworld
This is heavy duty. I'm not gay, but have many gay friends from the beauty industry, and sadly your script covers a regular occurance for many. Here I am using the word gay, which I don't normally. I tease my gay friends saying that gay means happy, and I've never seen a damn queer who was happy. They know me and that I don't mean anything negative whatsoever. The worst part is, very few of them are ever able to be truly happy. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad I finally had a six to give such an outstanding writer.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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This is heavy duty. I'm not gay, but have many gay friends from the beauty industry, and sadly your script covers a regular occurance for many. Here I am using the word gay, which I don't normally. I tease my gay friends saying that gay means happy, and I've never seen a damn queer who was happy. They know me and that I don't mean anything negative whatsoever. The worst part is, very few of them are ever able to be truly happy. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad I finally had a six to give such an outstanding writer.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you Ric! So pleased you liked this sssssso much. I am that much more delighted by your fascinating comments. Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from royowen
This is a very good, Being initially a monologue of Phil with his own turned into a dialogue that turned into a dialogue between Phil and Mary, and the grandstand finish, with Mary hugging Phil, what a great finish, well done, An excellent script, Liz, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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This is a very good, Being initially a monologue of Phil with his own turned into a dialogue that turned into a dialogue between Phil and Mary, and the grandstand finish, with Mary hugging Phil, what a great finish, well done, An excellent script, Liz, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you Roy! So pleased you liked this. Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
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Good job
Comment from Puzzle
This is so beautifully written. Like I cannot even tell you how much I love this. As a mother I would be so upset if my son kept his true love from me. And you captured her feelings so perfectly. That instead of being upset he was gay she was so happy he was loved and taken care of. Because I'm the end that's what mothers want. Their kids to be loved and to be happy. She probably will feel so much more as time goes on. I know I would. I would feel guilt too. Your style is great too. I love how it has an upbeat tone which kind of conflicts with the serious sad nature of the whole topic. It was an easy read. But an emotional one. Great job! I'm a fan!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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This is so beautifully written. Like I cannot even tell you how much I love this. As a mother I would be so upset if my son kept his true love from me. And you captured her feelings so perfectly. That instead of being upset he was gay she was so happy he was loved and taken care of. Because I'm the end that's what mothers want. Their kids to be loved and to be happy. She probably will feel so much more as time goes on. I know I would. I would feel guilt too. Your style is great too. I love how it has an upbeat tone which kind of conflicts with the serious sad nature of the whole topic. It was an easy read. But an emotional one. Great job! I'm a fan!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
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Thank you for your thoughtful response. I am Puzzled as to why a man would insist on being closeted in these times. This story was inspired by a very private person who lived alone and died never having acknowledging any romantic relationship of either persuasion. After his death a man whom he claimed as a casual friend told the man's sister that they'd been involved for years; he produced a hand-scrawled document in which the man referred to him as the love of his life and bequeathed him his house. The "will" was suspect on many counts and nothing came of it; to this day the sister wonders. These events inspired my piece ROOKIE MISTAKE, in which I made the claimant a woman obsessed by an unrequited love. Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I enjoyed it very much. I would love to learn more about how he deals with his anger that his lover wouldn't reveal their relationship. But that's not this story. An interesting ethical dilemma.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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I enjoyed it very much. I would love to learn more about how he deals with his anger that his lover wouldn't reveal their relationship. But that's not this story. An interesting ethical dilemma.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2020
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Thanks for stopping by, Darlene. At least he gets validation by the embrace of his lover's mother. The anger, alas, will surely linger. Cheers. LIZ
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Yes! You're welcome.
Comment from sunnilicious
Sorry to hear about your relationship. Sorry to hear about his passing. Love relationships are difficult. I don't understand all the secrecy. There are bad things in this world, but the snowball drama. I believed this script to be a true story. Well written.
Good luck on that Oscar.
Be careful, stay safe and strong.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2020
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Sorry to hear about your relationship. Sorry to hear about his passing. Love relationships are difficult. I don't understand all the secrecy. There are bad things in this world, but the snowball drama. I believed this script to be a true story. Well written.
Good luck on that Oscar.
Be careful, stay safe and strong.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2020
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Thanks for stopping by! This is fiction. Not my relationship, nor that of either one of my sons--both of whom are alive and hetero. I'm pleased you found it convincing. I channeled Phil and Mary and let them do the talking as I scrambled to write down their words. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from lyenochka
Actually, I really wished you had moved from Phil's monologue to a dialogue between Phil and Irene. It would be an opportunity to show your audience that there are parents who though have religious hurdles to deal with, still love their children and their children's same sex spouses. Really well written. At first, I thought Phil was an item of clothing talking to Larry. :) But it became clearer as he talked. Dialogue would really have brought the drama into the open.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Actually, I really wished you had moved from Phil's monologue to a dialogue between Phil and Irene. It would be an opportunity to show your audience that there are parents who though have religious hurdles to deal with, still love their children and their children's same sex spouses. Really well written. At first, I thought Phil was an item of clothing talking to Larry. :) But it became clearer as he talked. Dialogue would really have brought the drama into the open.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Thanks. Excellent point. Certainly, dialog would have brought this to life. I should indeed make the off-stage implied interaction explicit. What good are couple of slices of bread without the sandwich filling. (DUH) There's no reason I cannot still keep the other two Acts as written. I appreciate your bringing this up; I'm surprised that nobody else did! Now you've got me geared up to write--not good, considering it's midnight. When I fill this in I'll re-release. Cheers. LIZ
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WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am indebted to lyenochka for the recommendation that instead of separate monologues, that I include dialog. I have kept Act One as is; I reconfigured Act Two as the meeting between Phil and Larry's mother, which ends with the text of Mary's former monologue--with a twist!
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WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am indebted to lyenochka for the recommendation that instead of separate monologues, that I include dialog. I have kept Act One as is; I reconfigured Act Two as the meeting between Phil and Larry's mother, which ends with the text of Mary's former monologue--with a twist!
PLEASE REREAD--I TRUST YOU'LL FIND IT MUCH IMPROVED.
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WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am indebted to lyenochka for the recommendation that instead of separate monologues, that I include dialog. I have kept Act One as is; I reconfigured Act Two as the meeting between Phil and Larry's mother, which ends with the text of Mary's former monologue--with a twist!
PLEASE REREAD--I TRUST YOU'LL FIND IT MUCH IMPROVED.
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Sorry for the triple shout--thought I'd moved to the next person.
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So much better to have them interact like that and clear things up. Her hugging Phil brings the whole play into resolution, answering her rhetorical question.
" Even so, I surprised you remembered." (am surprised?)
"Why would he not." (question mark not period.)
"Do I honor this man who, for 22 years, so loved Larry, " (He right there so it's awkward that she's talking about him in third person. You could either give stage directions for her to address the audience or tell us its in her head if it's for video)
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I am forever grateful for your suggesting the OBVIOUS to this dunce-head. As you can see, I got right to work; I thank you for taking another look, sans pay. I fixed the typos and included directions that Mary face the audience when speaking about Phil in the third person. I appreciate your expert guidance; I'm honored that you invested your time and wisdom in me. Cheers. LIZ
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You're welcome, Liz! We all rely on each other's feedback to improve!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Love has no boundaries, even when is hidden in the closet. It's sad when you can say in front of everyone that the one that is going to pass in eternity is your forever love. Thank you so much for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Love has no boundaries, even when is hidden in the closet. It's sad when you can say in front of everyone that the one that is going to pass in eternity is your forever love. Thank you so much for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Iza--Thanks for your thoughtful remarks. Larry's own mother wished it had been otherwise. Alas, it's kind of anticlimactic by now--too bad this didn't come out before the funeral. Cheers. LIZ
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Iza--Thanks for your thoughtful remarks. Larry's own mother wished it had been otherwise. Alas, it's kind of anticlimactic by now--too bad this didn't come out before the funeral. Cheers. LIZ
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WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am indebted to lyenochka for the recommendation that instead of separate monologues, that I include dialog. I have kept Act One as is; I reconfigured Act Two as the meeting between Phil and Larry's mother, which ends with the text of Mary's former monologue--with a twist!
PLEASE REREAD--I TRUST YOU'LL FIND IT MUCH IMPROVED.
Comment from BethShelby
Nicely written. It is a bit of a tragedy where these two men had to maintain secrecy throughout their relationship. Phil allow this to continue until Larry's death but came out after the funeral. It is interesting that the mother would have preferred that her son had acknowledge Phil all along. Everyone in this story was a loser. I think Phil lost the most.
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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Nicely written. It is a bit of a tragedy where these two men had to maintain secrecy throughout their relationship. Phil allow this to continue until Larry's death but came out after the funeral. It is interesting that the mother would have preferred that her son had acknowledge Phil all along. Everyone in this story was a loser. I think Phil lost the most.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Beth- Thanks for your thoughtful remarks. I agree that Larry's mother would have happily acknowledged Phil. Alas, it's kind of anticlimactic by now--should have happened at the funeral. Cheers. LIZ
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WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am indebted to lyenochka for the recommendation that instead of separate monologues, that I include dialog. I have kept Act One as is; I reconfigured Act Two as the meeting between Phil and Larry's mother, which ends with the text of Mary's former monologue--with a twist!
PLEASE REREAD--I TRUST YOU'LL FIND IT MUCH IMPROVED.
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WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am indebted to lyenochka for the recommendation that instead of separate monologues, that I include dialog. I have kept Act One as is; I reconfigured Act Two as the meeting between Phil and Larry's mother, which ends with the text of Mary's former monologue--with a twist!
PLEASE REREAD--I TRUST YOU'LL FIND IT MUCH IMPROVED.
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Sorry for the double shout--thought I'd moved to the next person.
Comment from LisaMay
You pose an interesting quandary in this piece - whether to honor the wishes of the dead Larry or the living Phil. As Larry's mother is so understanding, and given the current rightful acceptance of homosexuality (amongst the non-judgmental), I feel that Phil's 22-yr role in Larry's life should be acknowledged. Your writing is realistic and I hope lots of closed-minded people read it.
Having to keep true love a secret is soul-destroying. I know something of this feeling and may write about it myself one day.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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You pose an interesting quandary in this piece - whether to honor the wishes of the dead Larry or the living Phil. As Larry's mother is so understanding, and given the current rightful acceptance of homosexuality (amongst the non-judgmental), I feel that Phil's 22-yr role in Larry's life should be acknowledged. Your writing is realistic and I hope lots of closed-minded people read it.
Having to keep true love a secret is soul-destroying. I know something of this feeling and may write about it myself one day.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2020
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Thanks for your thoughtful remarks. I agree that Larry's mother should--I hope she will--acknowledge Phil. Alas, it's kind of anticlimactic by now--should have happened at the funeral. Cheers. LIZ
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WHAT WAS I THINKING! I am indebted to lyenochka for the recommendation that instead of separate monologues, that I include dialog. I have kept Act One as is; I reconfigured Act Two as the meeting between Phil and Larry's mother, which ends with the text of Mary's former monologue--with a twist!
PLEASE REREAD--I TRUST YOU'LL FIND IT MUCH IMPROVED.
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I've just read your amended script. Yes - it comes across much better now with the dialogue; it fills a few gaps with past situations, such as the visit, combining the mother's part-musings on her assumptions and conversation with Phil. We get a glimpse of her personality too with the coral and teal house surrounded by black and white (indicative of attitudes).
I know bugger-all about scriptwriting, but reading your monologue scripts has brought me an indecisive query about how passive they might look performed - with hardly any interaction there would have to be some action... but in the hands of a skilled actor that could actually be a strength as it would focus on the use of language and its subtleties or emphases, which you use to great effect.
To me your scripts are more like short stories than plays, but either way I enjoy how your point of view and sarcastic/ironic/human humour comes to the fore.
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Thank you for the thoughtful re-review--sans pay. Regarding story vs monologue--indeed, when I wrote them I wasn't thinking in terms of scripts. When I came here and saw the option for scripts, I realized these could be adapted for stage. I concur with your quandary in this regard. Certainly, if I were to perform these myself I would be absolutely fabulous so that I could carry this through to triumph despite minimal staging! Cheers. LIZ
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I see that DIP suggested the little 130 seat theatre he does readings at in Sydney. How about you stage your triumphant performance there - have a vacation at the same time and i'll fly my magic carpet across from NZ to see you. Dream On all of us.
