The Promise of Life
A walk in the pioneers' cemetery.22 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Neat descriptive details in almost every line. There is a line here that makes me think it would be an awesome definition of an older cemetery: Remnants of remembrance in mottled marble.
I also though this was clever: The earth cracks a grave smile.
Double meaning all over the place there! (And also, perhaps, foreshadowing of Christian concept of resurrection someday). Nice share.
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Neat descriptive details in almost every line. There is a line here that makes me think it would be an awesome definition of an older cemetery: Remnants of remembrance in mottled marble.
I also though this was clever: The earth cracks a grave smile.
Double meaning all over the place there! (And also, perhaps, foreshadowing of Christian concept of resurrection someday). Nice share.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This is a very poignant poem about death and life. The angel is a beautiful reminder with her head tilted toward heaven. Your words bring the message forward that we all need to know. Life continues, even among the dead.
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This is a very poignant poem about death and life. The angel is a beautiful reminder with her head tilted toward heaven. Your words bring the message forward that we all need to know. Life continues, even among the dead.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from Cindy Decker
Excellent poem. I loved the imagery of the whole poem--a graveyard sets the tone. And that all our conventions here on earth are tenuous. My favorite part is the phrase "when death itself is dead." It is both an ironic and triumphant statement, after death has taken all of mankind's lives in one form or another. Great poem. Good luck in the contest.
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Excellent poem. I loved the imagery of the whole poem--a graveyard sets the tone. And that all our conventions here on earth are tenuous. My favorite part is the phrase "when death itself is dead." It is both an ironic and triumphant statement, after death has taken all of mankind's lives in one form or another. Great poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from Michele Harber
Wow, Lisa May, you have such amazing expression. I look at that picture and see "bereaved woman looking to heaven." You see "a fallen angel gazes heavenward amidst chipped wings and rusted iron lace." Your imagery is amazing, as is your use of alliteration and pun. I loved, i.e., "spirited upheaval" and "grave smile." Beautiful job as always, my friend.
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Wow, Lisa May, you have such amazing expression. I look at that picture and see "bereaved woman looking to heaven." You see "a fallen angel gazes heavenward amidst chipped wings and rusted iron lace." Your imagery is amazing, as is your use of alliteration and pun. I loved, i.e., "spirited upheaval" and "grave smile." Beautiful job as always, my friend.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from Patty Palmer
Heroes from yesterday, still heroes today
Forgotten by many for they've all passed away.
One day, maybe in a hundred years we'll bare
Being remembered in a history book somewhere.
Right up there with plague statistics of the past.
Will memories of today's heroes be strong enough to last.
I couldn't help myself. I read your poem and this is what came out.
Taking care I hope!
Love
Parry!!!
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Heroes from yesterday, still heroes today
Forgotten by many for they've all passed away.
One day, maybe in a hundred years we'll bare
Being remembered in a history book somewhere.
Right up there with plague statistics of the past.
Will memories of today's heroes be strong enough to last.
I couldn't help myself. I read your poem and this is what came out.
Taking care I hope!
Love
Parry!!!
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from royowen
We in Australia are being shut down, only families wh live together are allowed, which means we won't really be able to hang out with our daughter and grands who live close, it will almost seem like a form of death, like being in prison. I can see a new expression of creativity. I like this, you seem to be navigating your way, as probably most of us are. Great write, blessings, Roy
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We in Australia are being shut down, only families wh live together are allowed, which means we won't really be able to hang out with our daughter and grands who live close, it will almost seem like a form of death, like being in prison. I can see a new expression of creativity. I like this, you seem to be navigating your way, as probably most of us are. Great write, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from R. Vincent
Nice work.
The discussion of human monuments reminds me a little of Percy B. Shelley's "Ozymandias".
Plus, I really like poetic descriptions of existing physical art.
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Nice work.
The discussion of human monuments reminds me a little of Percy B. Shelley's "Ozymandias".
Plus, I really like poetic descriptions of existing physical art.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from samandlancelot
Lisa May,
I love every part of your poem. Your picture suited the story well, or vice versa. I liked the grave smile, man's vanity and insignificance. And especially your last sentence.
Excellent!
Patricia
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Lisa May,
I love every part of your poem. Your picture suited the story well, or vice versa. I liked the grave smile, man's vanity and insignificance. And especially your last sentence.
Excellent!
Patricia
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Lisa, What a beautiful poem! You made this old cemetery so real, that I could imagine myself walking there with you.
A stunning photo too.
"Remnants of remembrance in mottled marble"...wonderful line; I adore alliterations.
Somewhere, somehow, life goes on, renews itself.
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Lisa, What a beautiful poem! You made this old cemetery so real, that I could imagine myself walking there with you.
A stunning photo too.
"Remnants of remembrance in mottled marble"...wonderful line; I adore alliterations.
Somewhere, somehow, life goes on, renews itself.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
Comment from Pantygynt
This put me in mind of my 19th January posting 'Mynwent Nant Ddu', which you were kind enough to review with an excellent suggested title, 'Chiselled Perjury'. This takes a more positive look at the inevitable.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This put me in mind of my 19th January posting 'Mynwent Nant Ddu', which you were kind enough to review with an excellent suggested title, 'Chiselled Perjury'. This takes a more positive look at the inevitable.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
