Kneel, Pray
If there has ever been a time we need to put God first...61 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Fibonacci Spiral about having faith is the only thing we have to give us hope in the situation we are finding ourselves in. We pray that we will all be able to see the end of this crisis.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
A very well-written Fibonacci Spiral about having faith is the only thing we have to give us hope in the situation we are finding ourselves in. We pray that we will all be able to see the end of this crisis.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Sandra I do thank you so much!
Comment from Mastery
Hi Jim This poem is very well done. The thoughts are o everyone's minds I hope.
Just few suggestions if I may my friend:
Perhaps "pleaded" with God instead of plead.
Also, I n review of the tone of your poem I think the word "bug" should be replaced with something else....perhaps "plague"
And I personally don't think you should use an exclamation point at the end....(not necessary.)
Bless you my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
Hi Jim This poem is very well done. The thoughts are o everyone's minds I hope.
Just few suggestions if I may my friend:
Perhaps "pleaded" with God instead of plead.
Also, I n review of the tone of your poem I think the word "bug" should be replaced with something else....perhaps "plague"
And I personally don't think you should use an exclamation point at the end....(not necessary.)
Bless you my friend. Bob
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Bess you back in volumes, my friend,,,,,, I hope you are able to hold a sanctuary and find yourself safe. b.t.w very good suggestions to stay in form I did change both stanzas. Prayers to you and yours Jim
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: ) Bob
Comment from A. Willow Bends
Excellent. Thank you for the author notes. Very informative and educational. Always something to be learned there! The overall effect from the photograph to your absolutely flawless and beautiful poem is wonderfully beautiful. Perfection!
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
Excellent. Thank you for the author notes. Very informative and educational. Always something to be learned there! The overall effect from the photograph to your absolutely flawless and beautiful poem is wonderfully beautiful. Perfection!
Wendy
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Wendy, I am humbled by your wonderful six-star validation of this poem, thank you!
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You are welcome and VERY deserving!
Wendy
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You are very deserving!
Wendy
Comment from kiwisteveh
Interesting form. The visual aspect contributes to the meaning.
I think many of us have this pandemic on our minds - how can it not be so. And once we realise the world-changing nature of the crisis and the potential for harm it presents, we grope for a way to find calm amidst the storm. Your poem successfully provides the answer for many, religious faith.
Steve
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
Interesting form. The visual aspect contributes to the meaning.
I think many of us have this pandemic on our minds - how can it not be so. And once we realise the world-changing nature of the crisis and the potential for harm it presents, we grope for a way to find calm amidst the storm. Your poem successfully provides the answer for many, religious faith.
Steve
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Steve, I appreciate your review and comments, thanks!
Comment from Irish Rain
Just beautiful.
Of course, we should all kneel and
pray.
That this virus be lifted, that our hearts
be turned.
And in thanksgiving, that even in these
most troubled times, we are not alone.
Loved this,
blessings...
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
Just beautiful.
Of course, we should all kneel and
pray.
That this virus be lifted, that our hearts
be turned.
And in thanksgiving, that even in these
most troubled times, we are not alone.
Loved this,
blessings...
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Irish rain, As a country person the only other imagine that could be added would be kneeling and praying in a field of clover as a gentle mist washes over our souls.
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That's lovely...have a beautiful Sunday!!
Comment from Janetsue
With God, all things are possible. This is a strong posting showing reliance upon Him--especially during this troubling time when the world is facing chaos in the form of a pandemic virus. I like the way your work is setup, as well.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
With God, all things are possible. This is a strong posting showing reliance upon Him--especially during this troubling time when the world is facing chaos in the form of a pandemic virus. I like the way your work is setup, as well.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Spangle, thank you for your positivity.
Comment from Selyob
Simply amazing. I cannot imagine the work that went into this poem. Writers such as yourself blow me away with your skill.
I do believe this will be the first time I have ever apologized for a critique; but, I am sorry I could not give it that fifth star.
I truly wanted to give it five stars... still do... but I struggled to find the rhythm, the cadence, due to a lack of punctuation... especially, in the first stanza.
Perhaps that is the result of the style and its limitations, or perhaps it was a failure to consider it from the reader's perspective... regardless, it was the struggle which took away from it for me.
That said, thank you for sharing your faith and thoughts. We need more who will do so in this world, especially in the arts!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
Simply amazing. I cannot imagine the work that went into this poem. Writers such as yourself blow me away with your skill.
I do believe this will be the first time I have ever apologized for a critique; but, I am sorry I could not give it that fifth star.
I truly wanted to give it five stars... still do... but I struggled to find the rhythm, the cadence, due to a lack of punctuation... especially, in the first stanza.
Perhaps that is the result of the style and its limitations, or perhaps it was a failure to consider it from the reader's perspective... regardless, it was the struggle which took away from it for me.
That said, thank you for sharing your faith and thoughts. We need more who will do so in this world, especially in the arts!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Thank you, I appreciate your thoughts but in my prayer world ai do not punctuate my deep soul thought words
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I can respect that. One has to remain true to them-self in their writing. Good luck in the future.
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I may have already responded to your comment, and if this is a followup to a previous response please do not feel that I am hounding you. I know I read your reply earlier, but as you can tell already, I have not stopped chewing on it.
I completely appreciate what you expressed, and would offer only this counter to it:
Consider that while in our time of prayer, we do not use punctuation, when writing and presenting those same thoughts to others around us, if we want those thoughts to be understood as we intended, then it is important to consider how the reader translates what we have shared.
At least for me, I find that the proper use and placement of punctuation causes the reader to pause and allows for my message, the soul of the thoughts if you will, to begin to sink into them and begin to resonate, before they move on again.
It allows me to control the process a touch and to give honor to the spirit behind the words.
Thoughts?
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Please review my presentation again for your benefit, I made an exception, Godspeed!
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OH, THANK you for being open to discussing and sharing thoughts on differences in my suggested changes... and for not getting offended.
I feel, your new revision is SO much improved!
You can always send to me in private message if you do not want to change your work publicly.
Concerning your revisions, I would ask you to reconsider the (accidental?) period in the second stanza after "losses." Is it in the middle of a sentence?
Also, and please, I would like your thoughts on this one as it may just be a personal thing, but:
the way -
or
the way...
My thought on this is that kneel and pray are the climax of your poem, and without a strong pause preceding kneel, it is too easy to just run into and over them on the way to the exit.
What do you think?
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I forgot to mention, if you remove that period, please let me know, so I can upgrade to 5 stars.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
JLR: great witness to the world. I like the style of your poem.We need to pray the scriptures like psalm 91 and Isaiah 41:10. Keep on praying ground. I like the roaring waterfall photo. Keep well. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
JLR: great witness to the world. I like the style of your poem.We need to pray the scriptures like psalm 91 and Isaiah 41:10. Keep on praying ground. I like the roaring waterfall photo. Keep well. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Thank you and perfect scriptural bookends to this poem.
Comment from Minglement
This is a sad and poignant write on the situation the world finds itself in, today. My favorite part though was the beginning about if your name had a sound. Lovely imagery. Prayer is necessary, God our only hope. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
This is a sad and poignant write on the situation the world finds itself in, today. My favorite part though was the beginning about if your name had a sound. Lovely imagery. Prayer is necessary, God our only hope. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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Minglement, thank you, We will have our prayers answered, we always do even though we might not realize it at the time.
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Always. And I always enjoy your writes. Take care - Marcia
Comment from kahpot
What a wonderful read from disaster to hope and well being, the flow is easy to read and the presentation excellent, a message in here that we all should take notice of, very well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
What a wonderful read from disaster to hope and well being, the flow is easy to read and the presentation excellent, a message in here that we all should take notice of, very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 28-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2020
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kahpot, Thanks!