Comment from moongirlwriter

Excellent

#3 I don't think the Bible or the Jewish faith EVER tolerated wife beating. I think Kaia used her leverage of giving the "blessing" to get what she wanted and needed to be safe. Okay by me. :) Interesting dream/story? Both? Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2020

I am sad to say that wife-beating is all too common among Jews, esp. at the time that Kaia was entering her first marriage. I find this:

Wifebeating is found in all cultures, because women?s status is usually lower than men?s and wives are expected to perform specific tasks to serve their husbands. In some societies men have the right to beat wives who do not do their tasks or who are disrespectful to them. Physical abuse is found more often in those cultures where men have control over divorce and where the husband?s family controls a widow?s remarriage. Analysis of sex-role and gender theories describe the patriarchal nature of society and its concomitant culture of violence. Societies? approval of violence legitimatizes what is popularly called ?domestic violence? and these attitudes are transmited from generation to generation, thus creating a tradition in which violence leads to more violence. . . .

R. Meir uses biblical and talmudic material to legitimatize his views. At the end of this responsum he discusses the legal precedents for this decision in the Talmud (B. Gittin 88b). Thus he concludes that ?even in the case where she was willing to accept [occasional beatings], she cannot accept beatings without an end in sight.? He points to the fact that a fist has the potential to kill and that if peace is impossible, the rabbis should try to convince him to divorce her of ?his own free will,? but if that proves impossible, force him to divorce her (as is allowed by law [ka-torah]).
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You can appreciate that Kaia's rabbi was negligent in not acting to rectify the domestic violence in this case.

Aaron

reply by moongirlwriter on 28-Mar-2020

Judging from your background. . .I'm quite sure you are right but In my bibical training God said that man was to cherish his wife and every Jewish person I've known, to my knowledge has shone the utmost respect and (she him, which is what I learned as well). I still choose #3 :)

reply by the author on 28-Mar-2020

Dear MoonGirl,

In the end, personal experience surely is the best guide = "every Jewish person I've known, to my knowledge has shone the utmost respect and (she him, which is what I learned as well).

Peace and joy,
Aaron

reply by moongirlwriter on 30-Mar-2020

:)

reply by the author on 06-Apr-2020

Luv ur shy smile :)

reply by moongirlwriter on 07-May-2020

a whole month. . .internet problems here. Whoa.

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Hmmm. I'm left with so many questions. Was the dreamer related in some way to Kaia? Could Kaia be a figure from Jewish lore?
Who has a 'dream specialist'?
Am I missing vital clues?

Best of luck.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2020

Good sleuthing, Lee. The story of Kaia is a true story. The dream is also a true story. How does this help?

Thanks for letting me see how my story impacted you.
Aaron

TOPICS FOR REFLECTING ON KAIA AND ON DREAMS (open forum)
Kaia lived at a time when civil divorces were unthinkable. In Kaia's village, marriages and divorces were granted or denied by their local rabbi who knew the lives and struggles of his neighbors and who interpreted "God's will" for them.
#1 Does Kaia's religious system generally provide a superior arrangement because it offered a more personal, flexible, and close-at-hand judgment regarding her domestic problems? Or does our system of impersonal civil divorces do more to secure the general good? [Offer examples.]
#2 What is the wisdom and the folly of the rabbi's refusal, "Do the best with what God gave you"?
#3 Bruised by a Jewish family tradition that clearly tolerated some wife-beating, Kaia managed to find a way to exploit the weaknesses of her religious system in order to get the divorce she so urgently needed. Is her public confrontation of her rabbi "commendable" or "scandalous" or a mixture of both? Why does her rabbi finally relent?
#4 Interpretation of dreams has a long-standing place within Jewish circles. Consider the case of Joseph interpreting the dreams of the Pharoah (Genesis 41) or the instance of Tevya in "Fiddler on the Roof" using his dream to persuade his wife to allow her daughter to enter into a love-match with the tailor. In your own personal tradition, when and how do you allow dreams to become a source of reliable guidance for your personal life decisions?
#5 What would you be inclined to say is the reliable content of my dream of Kaia?
Note: Readers can choose to respond to just one or the other question above. When you elect this option, let your title begin with the # or ## involved. For example, "#4#5" signals that I will be addressing areas 4 and 5 above. "###" signals that I will address all five issues in my comments.

Comment from Fonda Little

Excellent

My favorite part was, "Baffled, I called my dream specialist. She told me that her grandmother Kaia was married to a drunk who beat her every Sabbath night. She pleaded with her rabbi to grant her a divorce decree. He replied, 'Do the best with what God gave you.'" because I was surprised when I read this part and wonder now if this was based on a true story!

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2020

Good sleuthing, Fonda. Yes, the story of Kaia is a true story. The dream is also a true story. How does this help?

Thanks for letting me see how my story impacted you.
Aaron

TOPICS FOR REFLECTING ON KAIA AND ON DREAMS (open forum)
Kaia lived at a time when civil divorces were unthinkable. In Kaia's village, marriages and divorces were granted or denied by their local rabbi who knew the lives and struggles of his neighbors and who interpreted "God's will" for them.
#1 Does Kaia's religious system generally provide a superior arrangement because it offered a more personal, flexible, and close-at-hand judgment regarding her domestic problems? Or does our system of impersonal civil divorces do more to secure the general good? [Offer examples.]
#2 What is the wisdom and the folly of the rabbi's refusal, "Do the best with what God gave you"?
#3 Bruised by a Jewish family tradition that clearly tolerated some wife-beating, Kaia managed to find a way to exploit the weaknesses of her religious system in order to get the divorce she so urgently needed. Is her public confrontation of her rabbi "commendable" or "scandalous" or a mixture of both? Why does her rabbi finally relent?
#4 Interpretation of dreams has a long-standing place within Jewish circles. Consider the case of Joseph interpreting the dreams of the Pharoah (Genesis 41) or the instance of Tevya in "Fiddler on the Roof" using his dream to persuade his wife to allow her daughter to enter into a love-match with the tailor. In your own personal tradition, when and how do you allow dreams to become a source of reliable guidance for your personal life decisions?
#5 What would you be inclined to say is the reliable content of my dream of Kaia?
Note: Readers can choose to respond to just one or the other question above. When you elect this option, let your title begin with the # or ## involved. For example, "#4#5" signals that I will be addressing areas 4 and 5 above. "###" signals that I will address all five issues in my comments.