The Cafeteria Caper
An honest boy25 total reviews
Comment from smileycloud
that is so very delightfully funny
it is a good write to show just what sort of relationship a parent and child can have....knowledge,respect,honesty,understanding,trust
a lot of underlying messages in such a well written short story that has humour as well
have a smiley day
Lorraine
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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that is so very delightfully funny
it is a good write to show just what sort of relationship a parent and child can have....knowledge,respect,honesty,understanding,trust
a lot of underlying messages in such a well written short story that has humour as well
have a smiley day
Lorraine
Comment Written 09-May-2020
reply by the author on 12-May-2020
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Thank you for this thoughtful and encouraging review Lorraine..
Blessings and stay well.
Janet
Comment from Louise Michelle
Haha - well, I don't blame Jimmy for correcting the accusation. What a cute little flash of fiction - you did a good job capturing a child's personality. I just read your notes - how adorable! Kids are so much fun when they're not getting on our nerves, LOL. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Haha - well, I don't blame Jimmy for correcting the accusation. What a cute little flash of fiction - you did a good job capturing a child's personality. I just read your notes - how adorable! Kids are so much fun when they're not getting on our nerves, LOL. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 15-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2020
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Thank you Lou for your wonderful review and encouraging comments.
Kids are lots of fun when they're not getting on our nerves! LOL
Hugs
Janet
Comment from Joan E.
Although your story is fictional, I am glad you had such an honest son. I did not expect the conclusion but understand the point about being accurate! Best wishes in the Flash contest- Joan
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
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Although your story is fictional, I am glad you had such an honest son. I did not expect the conclusion but understand the point about being accurate! Best wishes in the Flash contest- Joan
Comment Written 11-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
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Thank you Joan for your encouraging review. I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read this little story.
blessings and stay well.
Janet
Comment from Mastery
Good job here Janet. A cute little story here. i am assuming the contest rules restricted you to one hundred words per the usual?
One little suggestion, if I may: Ease up on the use of adverbs. Words ending with "ly". They are considered the "weeds" of good writing. For instance in here you have "adamantly" and "calmly"
Bless you my friend excellent entry and Good luck. : ) Bob
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Good job here Janet. A cute little story here. i am assuming the contest rules restricted you to one hundred words per the usual?
One little suggestion, if I may: Ease up on the use of adverbs. Words ending with "ly". They are considered the "weeds" of good writing. For instance in here you have "adamantly" and "calmly"
Bless you my friend excellent entry and Good luck. : ) Bob
Comment Written 26-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you Bob for the wonderful review and special stars. It was a specific word count. Exactly 150..... I always appreciate hearing from you.
Thanks too for the adverb information. I will check it out.
Blessings my friend and stay safe and well.
Janet
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Well, if he's going to receive any punishment, it better be for the throwing the right vegetable! Thanks for the smiles! Cute picture, too! Best to you in the contest!
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Lol! Well, if he's going to receive any punishment, it better be for the throwing the right vegetable! Thanks for the smiles! Cute picture, too! Best to you in the contest!
Comment Written 24-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you for the excellent review and kind comments
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello dear Janet, this is a fun write. Nice to be able to smile during these trying times, and this story of yours did just that. A good message in the writing and clever. Hope all is well with you - stay well, you and yours and Good Luck - warm regards Dorothy xxx
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Hello dear Janet, this is a fun write. Nice to be able to smile during these trying times, and this story of yours did just that. A good message in the writing and clever. Hope all is well with you - stay well, you and yours and Good Luck - warm regards Dorothy xxx
Comment Written 24-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you Dorothy for the excellent review and kind comments.
We are staying well and I hope you are as well.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Flash Fiction contest.
This short story about Jimmy throwing vegetables is clear and well told.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the Flash Fiction contest.
This short story about Jimmy throwing vegetables is clear and well told.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 24-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you Sharon for the excellent review and kind comments.
Blessings and stay safe and well.
Janet
Comment from BeasPeas
Haha. Maybe Jimmy was red/green color blind. There is a big difference in color between carrots and green beans. Yes, there are kids (adults, too) like this who split hairs over minutia. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Haha. Maybe Jimmy was red/green color blind. There is a big difference in color between carrots and green beans. Yes, there are kids (adults, too) like this who split hairs over minutia. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 23-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you Marilyn for the excellent review and kind comments. Kids do like to split hairs. :)))))
Blessings and stay safe and well.
Janet
Comment from JudyE
Did Jimmy grow up to be an accountant? They often need 'exactness' in their conversations. lol
I did pick up a few points, if that's okay:
"Jimmy 's in big trouble," the school secretary said - there is an extra space after 'Jimmy'
It was like high noon in the hallway when Marion arrived. Mrs. Walden on one side, hands on her hips and glowering at young Jimmy. - comma needed after 'hips'
On the other side was Jimmy, hands stuffed in his pockets staring at the floor until he spied his mom. - comma needed after 'pockets'
"Yes, he did, and you had better fess up young man. - comma needed after 'up'
"You were seen throwing them James and you will be punished." - commas needed after 'them' and 'James'
Calmly Jimmy responded, "It was green beans". - comma needed after 'calmly'
Thanks for a fun read and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Did Jimmy grow up to be an accountant? They often need 'exactness' in their conversations. lol
I did pick up a few points, if that's okay:
"Jimmy 's in big trouble," the school secretary said - there is an extra space after 'Jimmy'
It was like high noon in the hallway when Marion arrived. Mrs. Walden on one side, hands on her hips and glowering at young Jimmy. - comma needed after 'hips'
On the other side was Jimmy, hands stuffed in his pockets staring at the floor until he spied his mom. - comma needed after 'pockets'
"Yes, he did, and you had better fess up young man. - comma needed after 'up'
"You were seen throwing them James and you will be punished." - commas needed after 'them' and 'James'
Calmly Jimmy responded, "It was green beans". - comma needed after 'calmly'
Thanks for a fun read and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you Judy for the excellent review and kind comments and suggestions. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and encouragement.
Blessings and stay well.
Janet
Comment from Shirley McLain
How cute. You did a wonderful job with your Flash Fiction. I did not see one thing you missed. Good luck with the contest. Take care and stay healthy. Shirley
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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How cute. You did a wonderful job with your Flash Fiction. I did not see one thing you missed. Good luck with the contest. Take care and stay healthy. Shirley
Comment Written 23-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2020
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Thank you Shirley for the excellent review and kind comments
Blessings and stay well.
Janet
