Reviews from

Heart Cafted Poems - 2020

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Walking in Solitude"
Musings of an old man -2020

26 total reviews 
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
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Lovely; lyrical, fresh and whimsical imagery: sneezes and tickles; rich in alliteration: nimble/nibble. Clever twist on the usual with wide AND narrow, as indeed describes a varied mountain path. Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2020
    Liz, thank you very much!
Comment from lyenochka
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I like your nicely rhyming couplets, JLR but this is not a monometric according to your notes. Each stanza is supposed to get longer by one line and monorhyme with a new rhyme each time. You start with a couplet, then write a tercet, then a quatrain etc.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2020
    Oops, I certainly botched this one. I will work on this to correct this week, thank you for being so forthright with your honest comments.
Comment from Pam (respa)
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-Very nice image, JLR.
-A well written poem that
paints a vivid picture of nature.
-Effective imagery, rhyme,
internal rhyme, and alliteration.
-You include many wonderful
animals, birds, and scenic wonders.
-My favorite is the eagle and the fawn.
-A very good concluding couplet, too.
-Well done!

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2020
    Pam, thank you, be well.
reply by Pam (respa) on 24-Mar-2020
    You are welcome, and you do the same, JLR.
Comment from BeasPeas
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Hi Jim. This is a very nicely composed poem in the appreciation of nature on a solitary walk. The monometric form as I understand it, though, requires starting off with two lines and each succeeding stanza adds one more line to the finish.

This does look like a fun form that I may try myself. Marilyn

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2020
    Marilyn, thank you, I realize that I botched the intended meter so I will need to go back an refine this.
reply by BeasPeas on 25-Mar-2020
    Hi Jim. It's not the meter but the form. From what I understand it is adding one line to each stanza as the stanzas progress. It does look like a fun form. Marilyn
Comment from Reese Turner
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I like it! I appreciate the solitude, as I find in morning golf. You nicely describe it from your point of view in nice rhyme and flow. Enjoyed it very much. Thanks

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2020
    Reese, thanks it's not a perfect meter but then neither Mother Nature's rhythm are not always perfect :)
Comment from Susan X Smith
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This is a well written poem with a rhyme scheme that also works. You paint an engaging picture of nature's wonders and your personal experience of same.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2020
    Susan, thank you! It's not a perfect metered poem, but then neither Mother Nature's rhythm are not always perfect :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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Walking in Solitude
by JLR

Beautiful Monometric poem for the potlatch challenge. I like the imagery and simple presentation. The form is well done. Good job.

Gypsy ð???

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2020
    Gypsy, thanks it's not a perfect meter but then neither Mother Nature's rhythm are not always perfect :)
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
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Now is an ideal time for solitary walks. I wish we were in or near the woods as you describe. This time is suffused with thought and reveries. I have a feeling this time is like "musical chairs" where the music plays on and suddenly stops.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2020
    I could not agree more fully, thank you, dear lady!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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Although this is not in strict meter, this write has a warm sentiment and an ambient glow about it, nature working its magic here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2020
    Dolly, yes! Thanks! it's not a perfect meter but neither are Mother Nature's rhythm always perfect :)
Comment from Mrs. KT
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Hello JLR,
I, too, take most of my inspiration from nature!
You have presented readers with keen visual imagery from your nature walk. Sacred, indeed.

One edit:
Blustery, billowing winds bend leaves
and shakes (shake) the very roots of trees.

Thank you for sharing!
diane

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2020


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2020
    Diane, I do very much appreciate your extra eyes on this club challenge, thank you!
reply by Mrs. KT on 23-Mar-2020
    My pleasure!

    diane