Shredded Dreams
Haiku with a twist (get my gist?)18 total reviews
Comment from Anne Johnston
Well expressed. Sometimes it seems that way, that we have reached bottom, but we can always look up. Somehow out of the depths, we may find our greatest hour.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Well expressed. Sometimes it seems that way, that we have reached bottom, but we can always look up. Somehow out of the depths, we may find our greatest hour.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2020
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Thank you Anne. I'm pleased you liked this. I wanted extra exercise so stretched to the point that I disqualified myself by both using rhyme and a non-nature theme for a "haiku." (No matter-never win--not even so much as honorable mention in two dozen-plus contests.) Cheers. LIZ
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Thank you Anne. I'm pleased you liked this. I wanted extra exercise so stretched to the point that I disqualified myself by both using rhyme and a non-nature theme for a "haiku." (No matter-never win--not even so much as honorable mention in two dozen-plus contests.) Cheers. LIZ
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Writing poetry has its own reward but it is always nice to dream that we will win a prize. Just keep writing
Comment from AnnieDawn
I am impressed with the unique way you have rhymed this three-line poem. It has a nice way of rolling off the tongue when one reads it. I like that. You mentioned that the contest is over. I hope you had a winner here. Great job.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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I am impressed with the unique way you have rhymed this three-line poem. It has a nice way of rolling off the tongue when one reads it. I like that. You mentioned that the contest is over. I hope you had a winner here. Great job.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Thank you AnnieDawn. I'm pleased you liked this. I wanted extra exercise so stretched to the point that I disqualified myself by both using rhyme and a non-nature theme for a "haiku." (No matter-never win--not even so much as honorable mention in two dozen-plus contests.) Cheers. LIZ
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Thank you AnnieDawn. I'm pleased you liked this. I wanted extra exercise so stretched to the point that I disqualified myself by both using rhyme and a non-nature theme for a "haiku." (No matter-never win--not even so much as honorable mention in two dozen-plus contests.) Cheers. LIZ
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Don't worry. One day it will surprise you and you will have a winner. That is the way it happened to me. You write well.
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I appreciate your encouragement! I use contests primarily for inspiration; more important is that my readers and I like the result!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written three-line poem about dreams that are shattered, but we continue life and make other dreams come true that replace the ones who don't matter anymore.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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A very well-written three-line poem about dreams that are shattered, but we continue life and make other dreams come true that replace the ones who don't matter anymore.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Thank you Sandra. I'm pleased you liked this. I wanted extra exercise so stretched to the point that I disqualified myself by both using rhyme and a non-nature theme for a "haiku." (No matter-never win--not even so much as honorable mention in two dozen-plus contests.) Cheers. LIZ
Comment from royowen
Man seems to want to possess something like a beautiful scene, belonging really to everyone, and spoil it forever, this is a very good and very thoughtful haiku, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Man seems to want to possess something like a beautiful scene, belonging really to everyone, and spoil it forever, this is a very good and very thoughtful haiku, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you Roy--reviewer #15--this poem shall be awarded a virtual blue!
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You are a contrarian, like me, I don?t fit either.
Comment from Rx kingpen
Haha! I got a chuckle out of this because your notes and haiku reminded me of myself, a bit. Like that reflection. If you knew me in the past you'd agree. But that dudes buried.
And now about you and this poem. Hehe.
What needs to be added? Maybe a period before Gone?
Otherwise, the summarization speaks volumes. Sometimes all we have are dreams. When they die, we die. Cheers
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Haha! I got a chuckle out of this because your notes and haiku reminded me of myself, a bit. Like that reflection. If you knew me in the past you'd agree. But that dudes buried.
And now about you and this poem. Hehe.
What needs to be added? Maybe a period before Gone?
Otherwise, the summarization speaks volumes. Sometimes all we have are dreams. When they die, we die. Cheers
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thanks for stopping by! Glad to hear that dude [s/b dick] is buried. Cheers. LIZ (I try to minimize punctuation in poetry, esp. in 5/7/5)
Comment from amada
I absolutely like what you wrote in here, oh those famous lines, "Gone, all that matters..." Itleads the imagination open to so many other adventures, but just in 3 lines!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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I absolutely like what you wrote in here, oh those famous lines, "Gone, all that matters..." Itleads the imagination open to so many other adventures, but just in 3 lines!
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thank you! Poetry is a challenge for me--thanks for the words of encouragement. Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Wendy G
Lovely work, linking the title where dreams are shredded, with just the remaining tatters of them, and the fact that everything that matters has gone. So very well done.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Lovely work, linking the title where dreams are shredded, with just the remaining tatters of them, and the fact that everything that matters has gone. So very well done.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
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Thank you Wendy! Poetry is a challenge for me--thanks for the words of encouragement. Stop by anytime. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with the emotions in this one. I like the strong verb "clutching" at the "tatters" of the "shredded dreams." I also like how the last line turns a positive corner from the despair to hope. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Great job with the emotions in this one. I like the strong verb "clutching" at the "tatters" of the "shredded dreams." I also like how the last line turns a positive corner from the despair to hope. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks Helen. I'm pleased you liked this. I wanted extra exercise so stretched to the point that I disqualified myself by both using rhyme and a non-nature theme for a "haiku." (Contest long over; this is a repromotion.) Cheers. LIZ
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Oh the rules to haiku still baffle me - and then some will tell me something quite opposite from what I've learned before.
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I just go by syllable count--then find out there's more to it!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Clutching at tatters
beyond repair; I despair
Hope: all that matters - wow well said and written. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Clutching at tatters
beyond repair; I despair
Hope: all that matters - wow well said and written. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks for stopping by. I'm pleased you liked this--a challenge for me! Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Without hope we are truly lost and we cling on despite being weary, a fine 3 line poem with wise sentiments, your message came across loud and clear, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Without hope we are truly lost and we cling on despite being weary, a fine 3 line poem with wise sentiments, your message came across loud and clear, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks for stopping by. I'm pleased you liked this--a challenge for me! Cheers. LIZ
