Quicksand, Belles,&Faux Bouquets
Mortality in trilogy15 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
I found this trilogy of essays very thoughtful and oddly comforting, because I can readily sympathize with your concerns about the ravages of time. I greatly enjoyed your classic, clever wit, as well.
I can relate best to the first part, as I am still in dismay at not being 25 years old anymore. Don't get me wrong; at the same time, I'm over it; but I wouldn't mind having the old body back for a few weeks -- and I love my husband so much, that I would want us both to have our former bodies, simultaneously (I don't have to tell you where I'm going with that).
Which brings me to your second part -- my guy is definitely not named Dick, and has told me that I will always look great to him. Yes, that's hard to imagine, since I don't usually look great to myself, but that's love.
As for physical fitness, you've got one up on me, there. Or two, or three. I've really got to work on that, if I want to live more than another decade into the future. Kudos to you, dear girl!
Part 3 is an interesting treatise on flowers that we leave for loved ones; I really like this:
"As a sign of respect for the dead, I itch to remove the eyesores, but dare not risk the truant act of mercy."
I did not review this with an eye for nits, knowing that you are likely to make some revisions anyway.
I do have a question; what did you mean by, "My adoring husband turned erstwhile barely two years thereafter"?
Is that when he ... became one to visit in the cemetery?
Thanks so much for directing me to this very soulful story!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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I found this trilogy of essays very thoughtful and oddly comforting, because I can readily sympathize with your concerns about the ravages of time. I greatly enjoyed your classic, clever wit, as well.
I can relate best to the first part, as I am still in dismay at not being 25 years old anymore. Don't get me wrong; at the same time, I'm over it; but I wouldn't mind having the old body back for a few weeks -- and I love my husband so much, that I would want us both to have our former bodies, simultaneously (I don't have to tell you where I'm going with that).
Which brings me to your second part -- my guy is definitely not named Dick, and has told me that I will always look great to him. Yes, that's hard to imagine, since I don't usually look great to myself, but that's love.
As for physical fitness, you've got one up on me, there. Or two, or three. I've really got to work on that, if I want to live more than another decade into the future. Kudos to you, dear girl!
Part 3 is an interesting treatise on flowers that we leave for loved ones; I really like this:
"As a sign of respect for the dead, I itch to remove the eyesores, but dare not risk the truant act of mercy."
I did not review this with an eye for nits, knowing that you are likely to make some revisions anyway.
I do have a question; what did you mean by, "My adoring husband turned erstwhile barely two years thereafter"?
Is that when he ... became one to visit in the cemetery?
Thanks so much for directing me to this very soulful story!
Comment Written 07-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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How nice of you to ferret this out!
As to the sentence--it was intended as a wry play on his turning from adoring husband to unadoring ex.
THANK YOU AGAIN!
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It was my pleasure, dear Liz. Although it was sad that your "erstwhile" didn't last, let?s say it was his loss; it would have been yours, had you remained together.
My mother, who "gave" my father the divorce he asked for many years earlier, then considered herself both widowed and divorced when he passed away; moreover, SSA benefits can be collected by as many spouses as are married to someone for as long as ten years, and a person is entitled to the larger of their own vs. their spouse's SSA benefit. This will be good news for my husband, if he outlives me, post-retirement age, but meaningless if I outlive him. I just have to live (at least) long enough for him to collect, and he would also have to be old enough, also.
We're both on SSD, but it doesn't apply there. I don't know if your ex was a good earner, but if he was, this might help you (unless you already know).
Until (and after) then, may God bless you. Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from kmoss
I couldn't find the Q piece I was looking for so I read this one. I have never read a more entertaining piece on mortality. I don't have the six that it deserves.
This Q thing gave me an idea to only read pieces of a certain letter each day. Lol.
I love this part: Once upon a time, I thought I could build castles to the sky. Now, mocking my audacity, the tides have turned on me, mercilessly drenching my erstwhile fantasies. I try in vain to salvage what I can, but no matter how tightly I clench my fist, the sand inevitably dries and slips through my fingers.
I love this line:And I desperately search out diversions from the mainline to Emptiness.
And this one: And so, each Tuesday night, I twirl in an ever-increasing frenzy, desperate to forestall my destined swan song, my last ovation from the adoring audience of one.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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I couldn't find the Q piece I was looking for so I read this one. I have never read a more entertaining piece on mortality. I don't have the six that it deserves.
This Q thing gave me an idea to only read pieces of a certain letter each day. Lol.
I love this part: Once upon a time, I thought I could build castles to the sky. Now, mocking my audacity, the tides have turned on me, mercilessly drenching my erstwhile fantasies. I try in vain to salvage what I can, but no matter how tightly I clench my fist, the sand inevitably dries and slips through my fingers.
I love this line:And I desperately search out diversions from the mainline to Emptiness.
And this one: And so, each Tuesday night, I twirl in an ever-increasing frenzy, desperate to forestall my destined swan song, my last ovation from the adoring audience of one.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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How nice of you to ferret this out! This is one of the pieces I am most proud of in that I used (painstaking) metaphor--not my strong suit.
Comment from Dana Starr
WOW. I rarely give a six, but you earned it. I'm a 60-year-old female with the mind and humor of a 13-year-old boy and you nailed so many of my own thoughts and feelings. This is one of my favorite lines in your piece: Hunger cannot be sated by complimentary cotton candy. Actually, that's one of the favorite lines I've read all week. I've done a lot of reading this week, and not just on this website. Great job.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2020
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WOW. I rarely give a six, but you earned it. I'm a 60-year-old female with the mind and humor of a 13-year-old boy and you nailed so many of my own thoughts and feelings. This is one of my favorite lines in your piece: Hunger cannot be sated by complimentary cotton candy. Actually, that's one of the favorite lines I've read all week. I've done a lot of reading this week, and not just on this website. Great job.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2020
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Dana--Thank you for the delightful ssssssurprise!
Most meaningful are your wonderful words--you clearly engaged with the piece and I'm thrilled you connected!
Apart from the pair of Dicks I married--my life has been too good: health, security, friends. It's more a matter of pessimistic introspection. Still holding at 63, but tell the truth, I cringe to write that number. I just say I'm 36--not necessarily in that order! (In six weeks I turn 32--and that's the half truth.)
Stop by anytime! Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Sanku
My God! I dont know why you are having such thought at the age of 45 .Then what about those who are 60 plus?To talk about day by day erosion and sand slipping through your fingers? But your metaphorical writing is very poetic .The imagery is fantastic. So here are some stars to cheer you up....
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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My God! I dont know why you are having such thought at the age of 45 .Then what about those who are 60 plus?To talk about day by day erosion and sand slipping through your fingers? But your metaphorical writing is very poetic .The imagery is fantastic. So here are some stars to cheer you up....
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
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Thank you for the delightful ssssssurprise!
Actually--apart from the pair of Dicks I married--my life has been too good: health, security, friends. It's more a matter of pessimistic introspection--kind of like waiting for that shoe to inevitably drop; after all, aging and death are inevitable. Still holding at 63, but tell the truth, I cringe to write that number. I just say I'm 36--not necessarily in that order! Cheers. LIZ
Comment from LisaMay
Your historic pieces offer a glimpse of relationship dynamics - the slippery slope of aging - in our own eyes and in the eyes of the 'other half'. Celebs manage it through wealth.
I compliment you on your push-up ability.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Your historic pieces offer a glimpse of relationship dynamics - the slippery slope of aging - in our own eyes and in the eyes of the 'other half'. Celebs manage it through wealth.
I compliment you on your push-up ability.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2020
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Thank you for the compliment! Cheers. LIZ
Comment from equestrik
Your writing style is lovely, especially in the first section. I was certainly moved as I read what I can apply to myself as I am not longer young. These lines are only a few of my favorite's: "There is no sudden arrival at the dreaded state of barrenness. But there are signs en route. Desert Ahead. I try not to look too closely. And I desperately search out diversions from the mainline to Emptiness."
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Your writing style is lovely, especially in the first section. I was certainly moved as I read what I can apply to myself as I am not longer young. These lines are only a few of my favorite's: "There is no sudden arrival at the dreaded state of barrenness. But there are signs en route. Desert Ahead. I try not to look too closely. And I desperately search out diversions from the mainline to Emptiness."
Comment Written 08-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you! Glad--or should I say sorry!--you can relate! Cheers. LIZ
Comment from phill doran
Hello Liz
A very engaging and personal piece this. I enjoyed spending some time inside your (past) head!
Age has only one conclusion and we should embrace this, I think. There is no 'plan', there's only an ever-present 'now' that we need to make the most of, in our own way. I think part of the challenge is sometimes we try to make the most of it in the way we think we should, rather than the way we genuinely wish to. We start with a negative motivation.
A couple of nits...
"...through he fickle favors of fate..." (through the fickle)
"...But thirst cannot..." (you've a double space after 'but')
"...his hyberbole solely..." (hyperbole)
"...neither particulary pleased..." (particularly)
Also, in your foot note "...My adoring husband turned erstwhile barely two years thereafter" I am not sure if there's word or two missing in the note? Maybe I have misunderstood?
Still, I enjoyed your piece, your thinking.
I wish you safe and well.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Hello Liz
A very engaging and personal piece this. I enjoyed spending some time inside your (past) head!
Age has only one conclusion and we should embrace this, I think. There is no 'plan', there's only an ever-present 'now' that we need to make the most of, in our own way. I think part of the challenge is sometimes we try to make the most of it in the way we think we should, rather than the way we genuinely wish to. We start with a negative motivation.
A couple of nits...
"...through he fickle favors of fate..." (through the fickle)
"...But thirst cannot..." (you've a double space after 'but')
"...his hyberbole solely..." (hyperbole)
"...neither particulary pleased..." (particularly)
Also, in your foot note "...My adoring husband turned erstwhile barely two years thereafter" I am not sure if there's word or two missing in the note? Maybe I have misunderstood?
Still, I enjoyed your piece, your thinking.
I wish you safe and well.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 08-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Phill--aka Eagle Eyes--I am delighted you stopped by--such thoughtful--and helpful--words!--I fixed the numerous (ouch!) typos. Thank you! Cheers. LIZ (re: my husband turned erstwhile--just my wryly twisted way of saying he became my ex!)
Comment from Melissa Russell Deur
Dear Elizabeth, I have read your "trilogy" several times--each time drilling a little deeper. Your notes at the end have driven me to create a timeline of your life (In your "younger days" you might have taken this as praise!). I can identify with the 3 phases you've described. In "Quicksand," I love the youthful concept of being in control of time (flipping the hourglass and then taking it "from the top.") But the belief that you can burn the candle from both ends does lead to a sense of emptiness. Initially, I thought your "state of barrenness" was not being able to have children, but then later I discovered you'd had three. But the craving for praise and validation does reveal a "hole in the soul." I interpreted your line about seeking diversions "from the mainline to Emptiness" in 2 ways: taking a train ride to anywhere just to escape; or "mainlining" a narcotic drug that led you to Emptiness (an altered state of escape-consciousness). I love the imagery in "Hunger cannot be sated by a complimentary cotton candy." I can taste the cotton candy on my tongue and feel it dissolving immediately. Such a fleeting moment of satisfaction! In "The night, alas, is not so young," I identify with the 45-year-old woman who has for many years enjoyed the head-turning when she enters a room, but now wonders why she is suddenly invisible. I don't have a daughter, but I imagine that this stage is particularly painful when the teenaged child hits her stride and reminds her mother of what she "used to look like." I think we dismiss our husbands' compliments because we are aware of the "imperceptible decline" and assume he is also aware, but he's "just being nice." I will do better about embracing the compliments before they are no longer offered! Thanks for making me appreciate them! In "Flowers for the Dead," I love the Emerald City reference. Of course, I appreciate that Emerald City was in technicolor, just like the plastic flowers at the graves. But I love the
connection with your last name! Your last line sums up not only the third phase of your trilogy, but also sums up the whole trilogy. Well done--especially in middle age!
By the way, there are two typos: In the "Quicksand" section: "For accoutrements accrued through he fickle favors of fate." In "The Night, alas.." section: "Whn I was a child, my grandparents, in their sixties, referred to themselves as 'middle-aged.'"
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Dear Elizabeth, I have read your "trilogy" several times--each time drilling a little deeper. Your notes at the end have driven me to create a timeline of your life (In your "younger days" you might have taken this as praise!). I can identify with the 3 phases you've described. In "Quicksand," I love the youthful concept of being in control of time (flipping the hourglass and then taking it "from the top.") But the belief that you can burn the candle from both ends does lead to a sense of emptiness. Initially, I thought your "state of barrenness" was not being able to have children, but then later I discovered you'd had three. But the craving for praise and validation does reveal a "hole in the soul." I interpreted your line about seeking diversions "from the mainline to Emptiness" in 2 ways: taking a train ride to anywhere just to escape; or "mainlining" a narcotic drug that led you to Emptiness (an altered state of escape-consciousness). I love the imagery in "Hunger cannot be sated by a complimentary cotton candy." I can taste the cotton candy on my tongue and feel it dissolving immediately. Such a fleeting moment of satisfaction! In "The night, alas, is not so young," I identify with the 45-year-old woman who has for many years enjoyed the head-turning when she enters a room, but now wonders why she is suddenly invisible. I don't have a daughter, but I imagine that this stage is particularly painful when the teenaged child hits her stride and reminds her mother of what she "used to look like." I think we dismiss our husbands' compliments because we are aware of the "imperceptible decline" and assume he is also aware, but he's "just being nice." I will do better about embracing the compliments before they are no longer offered! Thanks for making me appreciate them! In "Flowers for the Dead," I love the Emerald City reference. Of course, I appreciate that Emerald City was in technicolor, just like the plastic flowers at the graves. But I love the
connection with your last name! Your last line sums up not only the third phase of your trilogy, but also sums up the whole trilogy. Well done--especially in middle age!
By the way, there are two typos: In the "Quicksand" section: "For accoutrements accrued through he fickle favors of fate." In "The Night, alas.." section: "Whn I was a child, my grandparents, in their sixties, referred to themselves as 'middle-aged.'"
Comment Written 07-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you Melissa--aka Eagle Eyes--for your helpful and thoughtful words! So pleased you took the time to rereread. Cheers. LIZ (mainlining doesn't refer to drugs--never even smoked a joint!)
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I really enjoyed your story.
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OMG! Thanks so much for the reviewer nomination!
Comment from humpwhistle
Hail to the interesting metaphor! You've amassed several in this piece. I especially like the acceleration of aging described as quick sand. The transition to sand castles is seamless. Things get a bit less tidy after that, but you hold strong to your theme. Nicely done.
Peace, Lee
I wonder of 'quick sand' is more appropriate (and more ironic) than 'quicksand'?
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Hail to the interesting metaphor! You've amassed several in this piece. I especially like the acceleration of aging described as quick sand. The transition to sand castles is seamless. Things get a bit less tidy after that, but you hold strong to your theme. Nicely done.
Peace, Lee
I wonder of 'quick sand' is more appropriate (and more ironic) than 'quicksand'?
Comment Written 06-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2020
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Thanks Lee--lovely ssssssurprise. Interesting point re quick sand--though I don't get the gist--regardless I'd surely get dinged for my "error." Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Iza Deleanu
The start of this story steals the mode of the narration. I can actually see that hourly glass measuring our years in a second. I really like this part :"But, insidiously, time has turned itself inside out to master me.
The sand has quickened. The gently drifting grains have banded together and turned malignant. Quicksand. There is no escaping its merciless, inexorable, pull toward oblivion. Imprisoned in the glass I am drawn toward the point from which there is no return."
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2020
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The start of this story steals the mode of the narration. I can actually see that hourly glass measuring our years in a second. I really like this part :"But, insidiously, time has turned itself inside out to master me.
The sand has quickened. The gently drifting grains have banded together and turned malignant. Quicksand. There is no escaping its merciless, inexorable, pull toward oblivion. Imprisoned in the glass I am drawn toward the point from which there is no return."
Comment Written 22-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2020
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Thank you Iza. That was one of my favorite parts too. Bonus star much appreciated--funny, I've gotten a few these last two days after posting a parody lament on my profile called Where Have All the Sixes Gone? I'd wondered if these people had seen it and gave me sixes out of pity! Nobody read it; just a coincidence. Cheers. LIZ
