Aaron's Dragons
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Decisions"An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs
13 total reviews
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
This is the first chapter of this fantasy that I have read. It is fabulous! Aaron's doubts to accept to be the next king are portraited vividly and become very humane and believable. To accept means he can protect his beloved dragons and dragoyles, which in the end seem to be decisive for his decision. He tries to make clear to his friends that being a king also means the responsibility to look after all his subordinates, their wellbeing and their safety, not just the dragons. It seems difficult to make them understand.
I think this a first-class story, It is an uplifting tale of fairytale figures, dealing with very real, day to day problems. That makes it fascinating to me. Very well done!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2020
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This is the first chapter of this fantasy that I have read. It is fabulous! Aaron's doubts to accept to be the next king are portraited vividly and become very humane and believable. To accept means he can protect his beloved dragons and dragoyles, which in the end seem to be decisive for his decision. He tries to make clear to his friends that being a king also means the responsibility to look after all his subordinates, their wellbeing and their safety, not just the dragons. It seems difficult to make them understand.
I think this a first-class story, It is an uplifting tale of fairytale figures, dealing with very real, day to day problems. That makes it fascinating to me. Very well done!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2020
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Thanks. I hope you will catch up and enjoy more of the story. Aaron found the eggs, hatched them, and then the dragons helped win the battle for the kingdom.
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Super story!
Comment from damommy
I think Aaron will make the perfect king because he cares. I can see the dragons living in the castle with him. They won't want to be separated from him. There's so much to be decided. I'm so happy to see this chapter. It's been too long a time since the last one. 8-)
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2020
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I think Aaron will make the perfect king because he cares. I can see the dragons living in the castle with him. They won't want to be separated from him. There's so much to be decided. I'm so happy to see this chapter. It's been too long a time since the last one. 8-)
Comment Written 22-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2020
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Thanks for the six. You're right, they won't want to be separated from each other. You're right, it's been too long since the last one. I should have more time now, with social distancing happening.
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That was by no means a criticism. I meant I was missing the dragons. 8-)
Yvonne
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
There is some great writing in here, which made laughter bubble out of me, such as:
"Aaron imagined them in the castle, all thinking they had somehow become royalty. He was getting a headache." (but check tense use, I'm not sure that Aarons stuff can change like that)
However, I am feeling really picky about emotions this morning. Please consider (just vague thoughts)
His mind was reeling>His mind was churningboggled his mind>made his mind boggle (this is the correct UK English phrase)
Duane covered the chickens, and they made their beds>it reads as though the chickens made their beds
Scratching Mountain's head, he considered >clarify who "he" is
rubbed his head against his hand and looked into his eyes. He caught an image of himself>again, reads as though all these "his/himself" are mountain...
It's coming along nicely though.
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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2020
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There is some great writing in here, which made laughter bubble out of me, such as:
"Aaron imagined them in the castle, all thinking they had somehow become royalty. He was getting a headache." (but check tense use, I'm not sure that Aarons stuff can change like that)
However, I am feeling really picky about emotions this morning. Please consider (just vague thoughts)
His mind was reeling>His mind was churningboggled his mind>made his mind boggle (this is the correct UK English phrase)
Duane covered the chickens, and they made their beds>it reads as though the chickens made their beds
Scratching Mountain's head, he considered >clarify who "he" is
rubbed his head against his hand and looked into his eyes. He caught an image of himself>again, reads as though all these "his/himself" are mountain...
It's coming along nicely though.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2020
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Thanks. I'll have to fix that. Can't have chickens making the beds. Glad I could make you laugh.
