haiku (rain clouds hover)
haiku28 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
Great new word for my vocabulary. Your selected artwork perfectly matches your 5-7-5 verse.
True, those rain clouds hover over many mountain ranges. For a summer week each year, ours hang over the Green Mountains of Vermont (-:
IMHO your last line should be set apart with a squiggle after your middle line. It is a dramatic image.
Mark
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
  |
Great new word for my vocabulary. Your selected artwork perfectly matches your 5-7-5 verse.
True, those rain clouds hover over many mountain ranges. For a summer week each year, ours hang over the Green Mountains of Vermont (-:
IMHO your last line should be set apart with a squiggle after your middle line. It is a dramatic image.
Mark
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
-
Thank you Mark for your thoughtful and encouraging review. Thank you too for your kind suggestion. I immediately added that little squiggle after the middle line. You are right, it is just what was needed,
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Aphthong
Wonderful imagery.. I loved that smell too.. Fantastic haiku..You created vivid images with those few words...Great entry in the contest..Good luck poet..
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
|
Wonderful imagery.. I loved that smell too.. Fantastic haiku..You created vivid images with those few words...Great entry in the contest..Good luck poet..
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
-
Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the clouds hovering over the mountain's ridge a promise of the first rain of the season that will cause petrichor that btings joy to our noses.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
|
A very well-written haiku about the clouds hovering over the mountain's ridge a promise of the first rain of the season that will cause petrichor that btings joy to our noses.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
-
Thank you Sandra for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I can smell your "petrichor" before the storm strikes the ridge of the mountain. The image you choose completes this wonderful tableau. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
|
I can smell your "petrichor" before the storm strikes the ridge of the mountain. The image you choose completes this wonderful tableau. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
-
Thank you Iza for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from rspoet
Hello Janet,
You've written an excellent haiku for the contest with wonderful visual imagery and connection in the first two lines and a strong satori reflection in the third using the sense of smell.
Rain clouds suggest a spring kigo.
The only thing I would suggest is an em dash or ellipsis as a kireji cutting symbol.
rain clouds hover
over Blue Ridge Mountains...
petrichor
Just a thought.
Best wishes in the contest (this should do well)
Robert
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
|
Hello Janet,
You've written an excellent haiku for the contest with wonderful visual imagery and connection in the first two lines and a strong satori reflection in the third using the sense of smell.
Rain clouds suggest a spring kigo.
The only thing I would suggest is an em dash or ellipsis as a kireji cutting symbol.
rain clouds hover
over Blue Ridge Mountains...
petrichor
Just a thought.
Best wishes in the contest (this should do well)
Robert
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
-
Thank you Robert for your thoughtful and encouraging review. Thank you too for the wise suggestion. I immediately added a dash to the second line. It makes the haiku much better.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Sally Law
I love that smell as it is my native home. I miss Georgia so much. I think that smell of the fresh washed mountains make me high.
Sending you my best today as always, and my best for the Haiku.
Sally xoxo
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
|
I love that smell as it is my native home. I miss Georgia so much. I think that smell of the fresh washed mountains make me high.
Sending you my best today as always, and my best for the Haiku.
Sally xoxo
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
-
Thank you Sally for the excellent review. What a wonderful line, "that smell of the fresh washed mountains make me high". You should write a poem. :)))))
Blessigs
Janet
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Jmf4119,
......haiku (rain clouds hover).... beautiful haiku for the haiku contest.
......rain clouds hover over Blue Ridge Mountains ....>good grammatical connection and flows well.
petrichor.....> I didn't know this word, I looked it up and it's a good satori. I love the smell of wet earth after the rain.
Goood job, good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
|
Hello, Jmf4119,
......haiku (rain clouds hover).... beautiful haiku for the haiku contest.
......rain clouds hover over Blue Ridge Mountains ....>good grammatical connection and flows well.
petrichor.....> I didn't know this word, I looked it up and it's a good satori. I love the smell of wet earth after the rain.
Goood job, good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
-
Thank you Gypsy for this wonderful review and good wishes.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
rain clouds hover
over Blue Ridge Mountains
petrichor
Thank you for the definition, and it is excellently done as the wow line for the haiku. Gives a season, uses interconnecting lines for the first two and is a true haiku. Nicely done
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
|
rain clouds hover
over Blue Ridge Mountains
petrichor
Thank you for the definition, and it is excellently done as the wow line for the haiku. Gives a season, uses interconnecting lines for the first two and is a true haiku. Nicely done
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
-
Thank you Barb for this wonderful review.
Blessings
Janet
