THE CURSE
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Something in the Fog"The six book of the Novels of the Breedline
9 total reviews
Comment from rwilliam
Sorry, it's taken me so long to review...
As she walked along, some of the businesses were hopping.~Try: As she walked along, shoe noticed some of the businesses were hopping. ~~This helps us know why you began with the word 'As'.
I love that you had the bad guys get theirs!! Very intriguing chapter! You wrote the build of suspense extremely well.
Great job. The photos for this are intense and fitting!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
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Sorry, it's taken me so long to review...
As she walked along, some of the businesses were hopping.~Try: As she walked along, shoe noticed some of the businesses were hopping. ~~This helps us know why you began with the word 'As'.
I love that you had the bad guys get theirs!! Very intriguing chapter! You wrote the build of suspense extremely well.
Great job. The photos for this are intense and fitting!
Comment Written 04-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
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Awww... Thank you so much! And thanks for the tip. Love it! Don't worry, I've been so busy too. I will try to check to see if you have something here that I haven't read yet. I'm going over my editors corrections.
Thanks!
Hugs!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
Comment from BethShelby
Wow! This is intense and a bit different from the material I usually reading but I thought I would check it out. I will admit it is good writing and it certainly hold the readers attention. I will try to keep up with this story.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Wow! This is intense and a bit different from the material I usually reading but I thought I would check it out. I will admit it is good writing and it certainly hold the readers attention. I will try to keep up with this story.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much, BethShelby :)
I'm thrilled you enjoyed the chapter. My series is a mix of horror, Sci-fi, dark fantasy and romance. I picked Supernatural on FanStory because that genre kind of fits my Breedline adventures. I hope to hear from you again.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from fm wright
Kept me in suspense from beginning to end. A truly well written piece. The pictures work also wonderfully in conveying the story's premise.. I could find absolutely nothing wrong with it.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Kept me in suspense from beginning to end. A truly well written piece. The pictures work also wonderfully in conveying the story's premise.. I could find absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thanks so much, Faye :)
So glad to hear you enjoyed the suspense. I couldn't wait to write the part where the werewolf (a.k.a Jena) came to the girl's rescue. Although, too bad for Joseph. Thanks also for mentioning the photos I added. I was hoping it would catch the readers eye.
Hugs,
Shana :)
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The photos certainly caught my eye. Look forward to the next posting.
Hugs,
Faye
Comment from ngage
Another exciting and suspenseful chapter, Ms Shana. Great artwork too! I wasn't expecting the werewolf to attack those guys that were about to rape the girl. I thought Joseph was going to get them. Fantastic action. I could picture everything as I read along. Great visualization! Looking forward to more!
Nate
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Another exciting and suspenseful chapter, Ms Shana. Great artwork too! I wasn't expecting the werewolf to attack those guys that were about to rape the girl. I thought Joseph was going to get them. Fantastic action. I could picture everything as I read along. Great visualization! Looking forward to more!
Nate
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you, Nate :)
I was hoping you would enjoy the werewolf part. Although Joseph wasn't too happy, the girl was thrilled to get away. You'll find out more in the next chapter about the girl. Thanks again for reading my stories.
Hugs,
Shana :)
Comment from Mistydawn
What a terrific chapter. Very well-written, believable. I like how you introduced the girl it made her seem realistic. The attack part had me on the edge of my seat hoping she'd somehow get away. It was like my favorite show, Law and Order sci-fi style. Wonderfully done.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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What a terrific chapter. Very well-written, believable. I like how you introduced the girl it made her seem realistic. The attack part had me on the edge of my seat hoping she'd somehow get away. It was like my favorite show, Law and Order sci-fi style. Wonderfully done.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thanks so much, Mistydawn :)
I was so glad to hear you thought the scene was realistic and believable. That's just what I am aiming for. If the reader can see everything as it is happening without getting lost, I am so thrilled.
Thanks so much for the awesome feedback!
Hugs,
Shana :)
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow that is an interesting start, battle of the species for a helpless girl. Will she get away from the Shadow killer? Will the werewolf guard her in the future? Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next story
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Wow that is an interesting start, battle of the species for a helpless girl. Will she get away from the Shadow killer? Will the werewolf guard her in the future? Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next story
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you, Iza Deleanu :)
So thrilled you enjoyed this chapter. I love to leave the reader with some suspense. I hope to hear back from you again. More Breedline adventures to come!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello scongrove
Your story has a lot of evil doings and unusual happenings.
I attempt are good. Now all I have to do is read your authors note and see how you describe your chacters and take time to learn and know who they are.
Gert
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Hello scongrove
Your story has a lot of evil doings and unusual happenings.
I attempt are good. Now all I have to do is read your authors note and see how you describe your chacters and take time to learn and know who they are.
Gert
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you, Gert :)
This is a new book from my Novels of the Breedline series. I'm glad you stopped by to read. This one is a fun, thrilling suspense I came up with while writing the end of my last book. I thought a serial killer possessed by an evil entity would be fun to write about.
Hope to hear from you again.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
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You are welcome scongrove
Gert
Comment from GE Parson
SCONGROVE! DID YOU MAKE up all those defintions or character traits of Breedlines? If you did, what an immagination you posses. I'm glad you had those two lowlifes attacked and killed, I kept waiting for the shadow to motivate Joseph to go to her rescue. What a story!
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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SCONGROVE! DID YOU MAKE up all those defintions or character traits of Breedlines? If you did, what an immagination you posses. I'm glad you had those two lowlifes attacked and killed, I kept waiting for the shadow to motivate Joseph to go to her rescue. What a story!
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you, GE Parson :)
Yes, I did make up all the terms and characters of the Breedline. This is the sixth series, so I have had time to use my crazy imagination to create them along the way. The Breedline actually came to me in a dream, so I thought why not. And now, here I am! I'm so glad you enjoyed. Hope to hear from you again.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
What a riveting episode dear Shana, your skill as a writer is quite amazing as you tell the most imaginative stories and produce, and create the most hellish creatures that are somehow used for good. This episode is one where the descriptive imagery is outstanding, it certainly had me spellbound. Well done dear girl, bless you, Roy
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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What a riveting episode dear Shana, your skill as a writer is quite amazing as you tell the most imaginative stories and produce, and create the most hellish creatures that are somehow used for good. This episode is one where the descriptive imagery is outstanding, it certainly had me spellbound. Well done dear girl, bless you, Roy
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you so much, Roy :)
I'm thrilled you enjoyed the chapter. I know it was creepy, but in the end, the girl was saved by the werewolf (a.k.a. Jena). Although, too bad for Joseph and the Shadow.
Thanks again my friend!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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Excellent job dear girl
