wings
free verse16 total reviews
Comment from papa55mike
I'm not sure second chances can change things. Although there are several things I'd like to try to change. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
  |
I'm not sure second chances can change things. Although there are several things I'd like to try to change. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
-
I think you are probably right :))
Thank you,
Carol
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image, Carol, and
good formatting of your poem.
-I like this poem very much.
-The imagery is effective, and
they flow well from one to the next.
-I like the line about "thoughts fly"
-The verse about "reassembling
old bones..." is also very good.
-The verses that concentrate
on hope are very well written, too.
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
|
-Nice image, Carol, and
good formatting of your poem.
-I like this poem very much.
-The imagery is effective, and
they flow well from one to the next.
-I like the line about "thoughts fly"
-The verse about "reassembling
old bones..." is also very good.
-The verses that concentrate
on hope are very well written, too.
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
-
I'm getting old and have a lot of aches and other things kind of going wrong physically. But I'm not alone, I know. Thanks, Pam,
Carol
-
No, you are certainly not alone, Carol. My biggest birthday yet is coming up later this month! The aching muscles have been around for a while, too!
Comment from Pantygynt
I was really taken with this poem, that swoops an climbs into an extended metaphor of the owls flight for a very personal set of physical and psychological conditions. There is however a danger in too much introspection. Since e cannot fly we have to learn to bounce along at ground level as best we can.
But this is a marvellous piece of free verse.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
 |
I was really taken with this poem, that swoops an climbs into an extended metaphor of the owls flight for a very personal set of physical and psychological conditions. There is however a danger in too much introspection. Since e cannot fly we have to learn to bounce along at ground level as best we can.
But this is a marvellous piece of free verse.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2020
-
This poem is actually a true story, I saw an owl outside our office when I was taking a late evening walk around the parking lot. Those dark wings in the darkness...! I do tend toward introspection, and I definitely love owls :)
Carol
-
I have an owl in the sheep shed just above the house. Wonderful birds.
Comment from phill doran
Hello to you
A wonderful piece. You make the sifting worthwhile - you are frequently the something that glints in the findings.
The simple way you open up a pathway for the reader, a way into your thinking, is remarkable. I am envious of your skill in this which is a sentiment closely followed by my admiration.
To seek a 'careful God' is to be universally honest - and this is what I like most about your writing. It isn't just 'a' human's condition, but often it is 'the' human condition that you attend, and that - for me - is a primary purpose of 'serious' poetry.
Your reconciliation of accepting the 'gift' of the event, without the bounty of it having a deeper, enlightening significance, is also very accurate: sometimes (often) life is just life.
I once saw two owls with their talons locked together in a tumbling fight, spiraling silently: I tried to use the image many times, without success, and ultimately I too accepted that it was a gift to enjoy, nothing more. Ours is, primarily, a journey through the senses.
Excellent writing and an absolute pleasure to read and consider.
cheers
phill
(I am uncertain of the purpose of 'tiny': "...like a tiny bird...". In your cupped hands, it could not be anything but, really. Just a thought.)
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
|
Hello to you
A wonderful piece. You make the sifting worthwhile - you are frequently the something that glints in the findings.
The simple way you open up a pathway for the reader, a way into your thinking, is remarkable. I am envious of your skill in this which is a sentiment closely followed by my admiration.
To seek a 'careful God' is to be universally honest - and this is what I like most about your writing. It isn't just 'a' human's condition, but often it is 'the' human condition that you attend, and that - for me - is a primary purpose of 'serious' poetry.
Your reconciliation of accepting the 'gift' of the event, without the bounty of it having a deeper, enlightening significance, is also very accurate: sometimes (often) life is just life.
I once saw two owls with their talons locked together in a tumbling fight, spiraling silently: I tried to use the image many times, without success, and ultimately I too accepted that it was a gift to enjoy, nothing more. Ours is, primarily, a journey through the senses.
Excellent writing and an absolute pleasure to read and consider.
cheers
phill
(I am uncertain of the purpose of 'tiny': "...like a tiny bird...". In your cupped hands, it could not be anything but, really. Just a thought.)
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2020
-
Hi Phill, and thank you for another fabulous review. Your words also speak to the human condition. Often life is just life - yes. I love your image of the owls in silent, tumbling flight - powerful! What a gift to see that. Sometimes life is just unspeakably profound, even without the "deeper" meaning :))
Agreed about the tiny bird. I rescued a fulmar once (like a petrel) and held him in my hands while I walked down the beach. Not tiny :))
Caro
Comment from CrystieCookie999
It seems birds have inspired poetry since time immemorial. The owl is mentioned, but the photo appears to be another kind of bird, swallows perhaps. Here is the crux of the poem's theme: If only I could go back
and be better than I was
Thank goodness we only have to be ourselves and keep trying.
It is true that missteps often still bring back painful memories. Otherwise, we would not know what pain meant. Redemption may not appear at night, but the owl serves as a symbol of something greater and better than the speaker (and reader's) present self.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
|
It seems birds have inspired poetry since time immemorial. The owl is mentioned, but the photo appears to be another kind of bird, swallows perhaps. Here is the crux of the poem's theme: If only I could go back
and be better than I was
Thank goodness we only have to be ourselves and keep trying.
It is true that missteps often still bring back painful memories. Otherwise, we would not know what pain meant. Redemption may not appear at night, but the owl serves as a symbol of something greater and better than the speaker (and reader's) present self.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
-
Thank you so much for this review, which I find to be very insightful. Yes, we do have to keep trying... and it is to our benefit.
Carol
Comment from royowen
I know sometimes we may wish that we weren't us, but we don't have a choice, the secret is always to love ourselves and appreciate, otherwise nobody would, look how talented are some stars commit suicide. Beautifully written Carol, but why would you want to be more than a talented, beautiful you? Well done, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
|
I know sometimes we may wish that we weren't us, but we don't have a choice, the secret is always to love ourselves and appreciate, otherwise nobody would, look how talented are some stars commit suicide. Beautifully written Carol, but why would you want to be more than a talented, beautiful you? Well done, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
-
THANK YOU, Roy. Gosh, this is a wonderful thing to say, I love it :)))
Carol
-
Of course you are Carol
