He Follows, She Stumbles
Tyburn poem, the bad guy and the victim10 total reviews
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
In this life not every situation has a happy ending. The world can be a very hard place to live in so it is to our advantage to think twice abut decisions. They set the course of our life.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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In this life not every situation has a happy ending. The world can be a very hard place to live in so it is to our advantage to think twice abut decisions. They set the course of our life.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you, Thaities! Good review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Tyburn poem about the stalking of the hunter to find his prey balking it until it falls and die. Sometimes the hunter needs to kill to eat.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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A very well-written Tyburn poem about the stalking of the hunter to find his prey balking it until it falls and die. Sometimes the hunter needs to kill to eat.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Thank you Sandra! I had to make rectifications twice before this Tybum was accepted! Rather difficult to do.
Comment from Stephanie Paige
I enjoyed reading your poem even though the topic is not a happy one. Tyburn poetry is a new format for me. You described the scene so well in less than 30 syllables. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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I enjoyed reading your poem even though the topic is not a happy one. Tyburn poetry is a new format for me. You described the scene so well in less than 30 syllables. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2020
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Stephanie, thanks for your comment. Not always everything has a happy end. For me, too, the Tyburn poem was the first in this genre I ever wrote, and to tell the truth: I had to rectify twice before it was admitted. I thought it rather difficult to do.
Comment from Precious Owuamalam
Super read! I like the rhymes and mix of language, as well as the flows. This is well presented, and a nice warm offering for the contest. Good-luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Super read! I like the rhymes and mix of language, as well as the flows. This is well presented, and a nice warm offering for the contest. Good-luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much, Precious! Lovely review!
Comment from Y. M. Roger
This is a wonderful first attempt at Tyburn Poetry!! ;) There are few things that need to be addressed:
prowling does not rhyme with the other 3 headlining words. Whereas crawling is in the category of 'almost' rhyme, 'prowling' does not rhyme at all.
The 5th and 6th lines should be of the following format:
foursyllables - firstline secondline - onesyllable
foursyllables - thirdline fourthline - onesyllable
Finally, that final 'onesyllable' in 5th and 6th lines must rhyme.
I'm sure you can fix it before the deadline -- great job!! ;) :) Good luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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This is a wonderful first attempt at Tyburn Poetry!! ;) There are few things that need to be addressed:
prowling does not rhyme with the other 3 headlining words. Whereas crawling is in the category of 'almost' rhyme, 'prowling' does not rhyme at all.
The 5th and 6th lines should be of the following format:
foursyllables - firstline secondline - onesyllable
foursyllables - thirdline fourthline - onesyllable
Finally, that final 'onesyllable' in 5th and 6th lines must rhyme.
I'm sure you can fix it before the deadline -- great job!! ;) :) Good luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Thank you Yvette, teacher. This is the first time I ever did a Tyburn. I have to learn, I can see that. So: back to work.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
So creepy and so to the point! This particular style leaves barely any room to innovate and yet you managed to tell a complete story here of a stalker and their victim!! And you did so in a manner that you gave me goosebumps and hence, the 6 stars for you!
Best wishes for the contest and have a good day :-)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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So creepy and so to the point! This particular style leaves barely any room to innovate and yet you managed to tell a complete story here of a stalker and their victim!! And you did so in a manner that you gave me goosebumps and hence, the 6 stars for you!
Best wishes for the contest and have a good day :-)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Aagib, thanks very, very much. A six stars from you makes me proud and happy. The first time I wrote a poem of this kind!
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You are most welcome! :-)
It was really well written and deserved the appreciation!
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:))
Comment from Janilou
This is a new form of poetry to me. Never heard of it, but I must say it worked well, especially with your topic. I could picture both the hunter and the hunted in this poem. Well done. I found no errors here.
All the best,
Jan
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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This is a new form of poetry to me. Never heard of it, but I must say it worked well, especially with your topic. I could picture both the hunter and the hunted in this poem. Well done. I found no errors here.
All the best,
Jan
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Jan, thank you so much! It is the first time I did this kind of poem myself. Didn't even read one 222299.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello my friend
, the bad guy and the victim
....He Follows, She Stumbles...is a fine poem for the Tyburn poem contest. I hate hyenas. they are nasty animals. The presentation is good.
gypsy
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Hello my friend
, the bad guy and the victim
....He Follows, She Stumbles...is a fine poem for the Tyburn poem contest. I hate hyenas. they are nasty animals. The presentation is good.
gypsy
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Gypsy, thank you. I don't like hyenas, they are stalkers after their victims.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Interesting form of poetry and not so easy to obtain.i think you completed the task admirably and still conveying a story. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Interesting form of poetry and not so easy to obtain.i think you completed the task admirably and still conveying a story. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you Iza! Never wrote one before in this genre!
Comment from victor 66
Mystery author,
Never having written a poem in this format and having only read a few, I feel that you have followed all the conditions of the prompt and I think this is a very good entry in this contest. I wish you luck.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Mystery author,
Never having written a poem in this format and having only read a few, I feel that you have followed all the conditions of the prompt and I think this is a very good entry in this contest. I wish you luck.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much. This is my first in this genre. Never saw it before.
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You are most welcome. It's a very good habit to be able to try new things. I wish you well in your writing.
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Thanks, appreciated.
