ice fire
Are they Satan's disciples roaring?25 total reviews
Comment from amada
Ice and fire are two very powerful words. I admire the way you introduce them in a metaphorical manner in this powerful poem of build and destruction. It is very well done with its recondite roots to creation.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Ice and fire are two very powerful words. I admire the way you introduce them in a metaphorical manner in this powerful poem of build and destruction. It is very well done with its recondite roots to creation.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much amada for reading my work. Your comments are encouraging, thank you. Your stars are wonderful.
Comment from kahpot
Your words have certainly given the reader an image and tested the imagination, (who's side is nature on) love your chosen artwork, a very well presented Haiku, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Your words have certainly given the reader an image and tested the imagination, (who's side is nature on) love your chosen artwork, a very well presented Haiku, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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kahpot, thank you very much for reading my poem. Your comments are encouraging, thank you for them. Your stars are awesome. My poem did what it was intended to do - make readers think.
Comment from karenina
Used to be if someone wrote a Haiku and it was not about nature the Haiku "masters" would tear the writer's effort apart... Things have eased up on both theme and syllable count...although I still prefer (and therefore admire) your adherence to the 5-7-5 traditional syllabic count. You've given real substance to the abstract painting... and food for thought as well!--Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Used to be if someone wrote a Haiku and it was not about nature the Haiku "masters" would tear the writer's effort apart... Things have eased up on both theme and syllable count...although I still prefer (and therefore admire) your adherence to the 5-7-5 traditional syllabic count. You've given real substance to the abstract painting... and food for thought as well!--Karenina
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much Karenina for reading my work. Aha, your comments are noted and much appreciated. Nature and religion were the heart of this work. And, this Hai Ku did what it was supposed to do - make readers think. Thank you for your wonderful stars.
Comment from victor 66
We have made too many mistakes with our home on this planet. Can we be forgiven and things made right? I fear not. Man is just one species on this earth and we have not done well during the period when we were the caretakers. This is a very good message falling on very deaf ears. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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We have made too many mistakes with our home on this planet. Can we be forgiven and things made right? I fear not. Man is just one species on this earth and we have not done well during the period when we were the caretakers. This is a very good message falling on very deaf ears. Best wishes.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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victor, thank you very much for reading my poem. Your comments are inspiring. Your stars are awesome. This piece did what it was supposed to do - make readers think.
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You are most welcome, Henry.
Comment from Frank Jauregui
I agree with the question intimated by your 5-7-5 poem. Reminds me of (Psalm 9:17) that says, the nation that forgets God shall be turned into hell. Your syllable count was spot on, however in your second line- do you think Satan's disciples' foul roar, instead of "a roar" would be more descriptive?
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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I agree with the question intimated by your 5-7-5 poem. Reminds me of (Psalm 9:17) that says, the nation that forgets God shall be turned into hell. Your syllable count was spot on, however in your second line- do you think Satan's disciples' foul roar, instead of "a roar" would be more descriptive?
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thanks for reading my piece Frank. Your comments are inspiring. Your stars are awesome. I'm going to write the last two words in the second line the way they are in the Bible.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
I often hear people say they don't believe a loving God would punish us with disasters. Don't they read their Bibles!? You have made good use of your seventeen syllables.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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I often hear people say they don't believe a loving God would punish us with disasters. Don't they read their Bibles!? You have made good use of your seventeen syllables.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much for reading my poem Janice. Your comments are encouraging. And, your stars are awesome.
Comment from Bicpen
Interesting commentary with a seasonal and adequate imagery no idea whether it adheres to the haiku formality but should be a good competitor. All the best in the competition.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Interesting commentary with a seasonal and adequate imagery no idea whether it adheres to the haiku formality but should be a good competitor. All the best in the competition.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Bicpen, thank you for reading my poem. Your comments and suggestions are right on. The stars you have given me are wonderful.
Comment from susand3022
Hi Henry, I really like this Fire and Ice Haiku you have written. You have a couple of technical things to fix before the contest, then everything will be perfect.
-First, let me just let you know that it's a common misconception that a Haiku must be 17 syllables in a 5-7-5 format. It doesn't. It can't be over 17 syllables. It can be less but as long as it follows the long-short-long format that's really all that's required. In fact, as far as the Japanese are concerned, the shorter, the better. If you could write a 1-2-1 it would be brilliant! LOL
-Capitals and punctuation: Haikus never use either unless they're necessary... Satan's, God's (both Cap and apostrophe are necessary) eliminate all caps and commas in the first line. Haiku never uses commas or periods (unless Mr. or Mrs.) like that.
- The title: The title of a Haiku is always written as follows... Haiku(the first line or first few words of the poem) so yours would be:
Haiku(ice fire quake and wind)
The only other suggestion I have is to leave the word "a" out of the second line... it doesn't seem to make any sense there.
I really liked this Haiku. Good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Hi Henry, I really like this Fire and Ice Haiku you have written. You have a couple of technical things to fix before the contest, then everything will be perfect.
-First, let me just let you know that it's a common misconception that a Haiku must be 17 syllables in a 5-7-5 format. It doesn't. It can't be over 17 syllables. It can be less but as long as it follows the long-short-long format that's really all that's required. In fact, as far as the Japanese are concerned, the shorter, the better. If you could write a 1-2-1 it would be brilliant! LOL
-Capitals and punctuation: Haikus never use either unless they're necessary... Satan's, God's (both Cap and apostrophe are necessary) eliminate all caps and commas in the first line. Haiku never uses commas or periods (unless Mr. or Mrs.) like that.
- The title: The title of a Haiku is always written as follows... Haiku(the first line or first few words of the poem) so yours would be:
Haiku(ice fire quake and wind)
The only other suggestion I have is to leave the word "a" out of the second line... it doesn't seem to make any sense there.
I really liked this Haiku. Good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you Susan for reading my poem. Your comments and suggestions are right on, and I appreciate them. I would like to see more reviewers with your knowledge. I would have preferred to use the gerund roaring, but several reviewers of an earlier work of mine objected and said I was a lazy writer. And I, as you, was taught to use no capitals or punctuation in a Hai Ku, but many reviewers rate it otherwise. Thank you for your awesome stars. But, this work has made many readers do what I intended - make them think.
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There's only one way to write a Haiku. lol Japanese poetry actually has very strict rules. They just don't always follow them here. Talk about lazy poets! Tell them that next time they call you that for using ing at the end of the word. lol
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I ain't no hack. I'll edit the thing and do it the way I believe it should be done. Thank You.
Comment from Bill Pinder
Interesting poem written for this fire and ice writing. Thank God that we can be saved by his grace, but He still says that the world will end in far. As far as the specifics involved, who knows? Bill
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Interesting poem written for this fire and ice writing. Thank God that we can be saved by his grace, but He still says that the world will end in far. As far as the specifics involved, who knows? Bill
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you for reading my poem Bill. Your comments are inspiring. Your stars are awesome.
Comment from jaded831
Excellent haiku. With all the changes with the earth due to global warming, we never know if we are all going to be swimming for our life. We don't know who is controlling it. I do believe the spirits have something to do with it.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Excellent haiku. With all the changes with the earth due to global warming, we never know if we are all going to be swimming for our life. We don't know who is controlling it. I do believe the spirits have something to do with it.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much for reading my poem. Your comments are inspiring and your stars are wonderful.
