Charlie Cannot Listen
Talking to Charlie about his life16 total reviews
Comment from Justin Chopin
A very realistic piece Therese. I admire your ability to take this Charlie character and make him into this troubled soul who you as a person want to help but also realize the more you help him the more likely he is to push away and continue on his path to self destruction and death. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
  |
A very realistic piece Therese. I admire your ability to take this Charlie character and make him into this troubled soul who you as a person want to help but also realize the more you help him the more likely he is to push away and continue on his path to self destruction and death. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much!
Comment from royowen
As a former one of them, I somehow think I'm living because I had the best therapy ever. But this is an undeniable fact, that's what an addict does, deludes himself into believing the addiction is not that bad, next thing, you're dead, it's even happened to one or two famous, gifted people. Beautifully written, putting yourself into the chair, you are an overcomer yourself Terry, deserving of admiration, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
|
As a former one of them, I somehow think I'm living because I had the best therapy ever. But this is an undeniable fact, that's what an addict does, deludes himself into believing the addiction is not that bad, next thing, you're dead, it's even happened to one or two famous, gifted people. Beautifully written, putting yourself into the chair, you are an overcomer yourself Terry, deserving of admiration, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much Roy! I have known quite a few. Some made it, some did not. Very sad.
-
Yes indeed.
-
Yes indeed.
Comment from lance michaels
I loved this story, as I can relate to the problems of addiction. I was a heavy alcohol abuser for forty years and it took losing everything good in my life to make a change. Excellent!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
|
I loved this story, as I can relate to the problems of addiction. I was a heavy alcohol abuser for forty years and it took losing everything good in my life to make a change. Excellent!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
-
I am glad you made the change! Thanks for the nice review.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Terry. This is wonderful story. You chronicled Charlie's life and you did not include the inevitability in the story.
You had a glimmer of hope but then Charlie turned out the lights. It's well written and flash fiction has to finish strong because of the brevity of the story. This finishes strong.
Robert
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
|
Hello Terry. This is wonderful story. You chronicled Charlie's life and you did not include the inevitability in the story.
You had a glimmer of hope but then Charlie turned out the lights. It's well written and flash fiction has to finish strong because of the brevity of the story. This finishes strong.
Robert
Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much! I appreciate it.
Comment from w.j.debi
It so sad that robs addiction robs us some otherwise wonderful people, and that it also robs them of their lives, in more ways than one.
You did a great job with this story. It was told with empathy and insight.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
|
It so sad that robs addiction robs us some otherwise wonderful people, and that it also robs them of their lives, in more ways than one.
You did a great job with this story. It was told with empathy and insight.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for your kind remarks!
Comment from Janet Foor
Charlie cannot listen is a sad story of an addict. Unfortunately, the world has many Charlies and their stories are heartbreaking to their families and friends.
Well done Terese
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
|
Charlie cannot listen is a sad story of an addict. Unfortunately, the world has many Charlies and their stories are heartbreaking to their families and friends.
Well done Terese
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much for your kind remarks.
Comment from A. Miller
I feel like the last paragraph, unless its a true story, is added abruptly and feels out of place. I get the point you're making that there may not be a tomorrow when it comes to addiction but writing a story such as this should be informational and shed light on the situation not just portray a sad scary image that can't be helped. I think that in creating stories there should be lessons and help guide someone onto a better path or help the person who is affected and trying to help the addict. You could end it this way but maybe not so abruptly so its not like "well actually he died"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020
 |
I feel like the last paragraph, unless its a true story, is added abruptly and feels out of place. I get the point you're making that there may not be a tomorrow when it comes to addiction but writing a story such as this should be informational and shed light on the situation not just portray a sad scary image that can't be helped. I think that in creating stories there should be lessons and help guide someone onto a better path or help the person who is affected and trying to help the addict. You could end it this way but maybe not so abruptly so its not like "well actually he died"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020
-
I am sure you were right. I wrote this at midnight when I had to get up at five so I didn?t polish or even go over it. My daughter is a Heroin addict, now three years clean and happy and healthy. So many kids she was doing drugs with are dead now. This is definitely not my best work. Please go to my portfolio and read The Wolf At The Door.
Thanks for your honesty.
Comment from RodG
Some people--Charlie is an excellent example--will not heed. Advice. We see Charlie whose ragged appearance alarms the narrator. To give your story more OOMPH try using dialog instead of telling us they argued. This might also build more sympathy for a Charlie.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020
|
Some people--Charlie is an excellent example--will not heed. Advice. We see Charlie whose ragged appearance alarms the narrator. To give your story more OOMPH try using dialog instead of telling us they argued. This might also build more sympathy for a Charlie.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020
-
Yes this is not my best work. I wrote it at midnight when I had to get up at five. Thanks for your honesty
Comment from papa55mike
We try to say the right words to help people, but if they refuse. What a wonderfully written story. I haven't seen this contest.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020
 |
We try to say the right words to help people, but if they refuse. What a wonderfully written story. I haven't seen this contest.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 25-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020
-
Thanks so much Mike! The two reviews before yours were extremely poor because I didn?t have enough oomph in it. This one makes me feel better. My daughter is a heroin addict addict and has been clean happy and healthy for three years. What people didn?t realize, and I didn?t wanna go into it because it made me sound defensive, was that so many of the kids she did heroin with are dead now and I had many of of the scenarios in the story. I would see them on the street and stop and talk to them and they would say I was right and of course they would take help from me and then they would disappear. The next thing they were in the obituary. I think you have to live it to really get it. It?s a living hell. Thank you so much!
Comment from zanya
Yes a story of our times, sadly - well portrayed here in this prompt - how life's struggles can take a terrible toll - the illustration is powerful in its impact
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
|
Yes a story of our times, sadly - well portrayed here in this prompt - how life's struggles can take a terrible toll - the illustration is powerful in its impact
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for such a nice review.
