Comment from cdefan

Excellent

Great Chapter! The beganning to what will be an exciting book with many more great chapters to come, I'm sure. This character sounds quite evil and mischievous.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020

Thank you, cdefan :)

It will be creepy and dark, but my story always ends with that 'good feeling.' Good always wins in the end.

Hope you stop in to read more of my Breedline adventures.
Sincerely,
Shana :)

Comment from fm wright

Exceptional

You have definitely created an interesting character in Joseph. The story starts out on an eerie note, perfectly setting the stage for what is to come. The artwork really helps set the tone. Wonderful job.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020

Thank you, Faye :)

I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this story here, but everyone is so helpful and I need all the advice I can get. I am having fun with Joseph and the Shadow's character. It's fun to dig deep into your alter-ego and be the bad guy every once in a while. LOL!
I also bring some of my experience's into this book. It's good therapy actually to get to tell your story in a fictional book.

Thanks again,
Shana :)

reply by fm wright on 24-Feb-2020

Yes, it is very good therapy. I am currently working on some short pieces, though I hope to develop some of my ideas into longer works.
Hugs,
Faye
P.S. Look forward with eagerness to your next posting.

reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020

Thank you, my friend :)

reply by fm wright on 25-Feb-2020

You are deservedly welcome.

Comment from ngage

Excellent

Wow! You already have the sixth series started? This one looks interesting and mysterious. The new character seems like a serial killer. The Shadow sounds evil but very captivating. Looking forward to finding out more with this entity.

Great writing, Ms Shana!

Nate

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020

Thanks Nate :)

So excited you read my first chapter in this new book. This one is going to be somewhat creepy with the serial killer. It's fun to create new villains and a whole new adventure for the Breedline.

Thanks so much!
Shana :)

Comment from Mistydawn

Exceptional

I'm so in love with this story already. It's so well-written, descriptive, interesting. I love how you got into his head. The way you gave us a little backstory on how he came to be.This promises to be a very interesting story. The only downfall is I have to wait a week to find out what happens next. Great job I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020

Thank you, Mistydawn :)

Oh, I am so happy you enjoyed this first chapter! I was pondering on the idea of posting this book in FanStory. I was afraid everyone might be tired of the Breedline adventures. But everyone is so helpful and I need all the advice and feedback I can get. You see things I don't see. Everyone makes a difference in my writing.
I have to say, Joseph and the Shadow's character is fun to write about, although it's disturbing in many ways. Joseph's childhood is similar to my own except I'm not a killer and I'm not possessed by an evil entity. LOL! But some of his experiences are my own. Writing about it is good therapy in a lot of ways. I hope I continue to entertain here.

Thanks so much!
Shana :)

Comment from royowen

Exceptional

I think from previous knowledge, a trauma in one's life, like one's mother being abused, or oneself being likewise abused can create an opening for a demon to enter one. If one looks around there seems to be an inordinate amount of murder suicides at large. You've written another fantastic episode Shana, albeit a beauty, just such a case. Many talk of voices talking to them, telling them to kill, many attribute it to God. Beautifully written my dear friend, well done, your capacity for creation is amazing, blessings, Roy
Typo : As he drudged up. Dredged? 2: During his father's trial and (with) no other...

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020

Thank you, Roy :)

I was debating the idea of posting another Breedline story here. I hope everyone is not burnt out. LOL! But I get so much advice and feedback that is so helpful and encouraging. And I need all the help I can get. Thanks for catching my typos. You see things I don't see.
I agree with the abuse trauma. Joseph's story is my own, except I'm not a serial killer and I'm not possessed. LOL! But still, his life of abuse is what I had. I think writing about it is good therapy. I have moved on in life and now I can tell my story (adding supernatural and fiction) through Joseph.

Thanks for your support!
Always your fan,
Shana :)

reply by royowen on 24-Feb-2020

Thanks for sharing Shana, I too carry scars from my childhood, I guess that?s what I feel so strongly about it. Even men have suffered, but we are such solitary creatures that we tend to be silent about, it should be exposed. Well done for that. Thank you for bravely sharing.

reply by the author on 25-Feb-2020

Thank you my friend :)

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

"A Darkness Within"
This tells the story, Ian incredibly Horrid way.
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly!
...
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2020

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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020

Thank you, Doctor Ricky 1024 :)

Glad you enjoyed the chapter. Although it's disturbing, it will give readers a good feeling from time to time within the story. In the end, good always triumphs evil.

Thanks again,
Shana :)