Cat Warms Empty Chair
haiku contest21 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
You gave an excellent Haiku, one that catches us completely off guard, and we can see the scene in our mind's eye, and it does not go away.
Thank you for returning to Fanstory.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
  |
You gave an excellent Haiku, one that catches us completely off guard, and we can see the scene in our mind's eye, and it does not go away.
Thank you for returning to Fanstory.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
-
Thank you very much for the review 😊
Comment from Gail Denham
The empty chair apparently represents some grieving for a mission person in your life. The cat takes the place. This is sad. Right now we're dog-sitting two extra dogs who think our recliners are their domain. They miss their big family of our grandkids. but they're used to us.
The loss comes through in your poem. Blessings.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
 |
The empty chair apparently represents some grieving for a mission person in your life. The cat takes the place. This is sad. Right now we're dog-sitting two extra dogs who think our recliners are their domain. They miss their big family of our grandkids. but they're used to us.
The loss comes through in your poem. Blessings.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
-
Thank you very much for the review.
Gypsy
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Haiku Poetry Contest.
This short verse tells a clear story.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
I think this is a good entry for the Haiku Poetry Contest.
This short verse tells a clear story.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Thank you very much, Sharon. :)
Comment from rspoet
Hello Gypsy,
This is an excellent haiku in the traditional 5-7-5 form
with very fine concrete imagery
and good grammatical connection of lines one and two.
The cold raindrops are a good kigo for winter.
Excellent use of contrasts and comparison in the warm/cold; rain/tears and empty though occupied by the cat suggests a missing person.
The satori is an excellent extension of thought .
My one suggestion would be to drop "outside"
as it is redundant (that's where rain falls) and replace the two syllables
with a descriptor for fall like "gently" or "softly."
This would also increase the connection/contrast of tears and rain.
Beautiful presentation and art work.
Very well done
Robert
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
Hello Gypsy,
This is an excellent haiku in the traditional 5-7-5 form
with very fine concrete imagery
and good grammatical connection of lines one and two.
The cold raindrops are a good kigo for winter.
Excellent use of contrasts and comparison in the warm/cold; rain/tears and empty though occupied by the cat suggests a missing person.
The satori is an excellent extension of thought .
My one suggestion would be to drop "outside"
as it is redundant (that's where rain falls) and replace the two syllables
with a descriptor for fall like "gently" or "softly."
This would also increase the connection/contrast of tears and rain.
Beautiful presentation and art work.
Very well done
Robert
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for the outstanding review and kind words. I will change the word, it makes sense. Thank you so much for the six stars.
Gypsy
Comment from dovemarie
Dear Gypsy, This is a short, sweet, yet sad haiku about the cat warming an empty chair of his or her owner, a chair that must have been filled at one time with a loved one - a husband, son, friend, etc. Good luck in the contest. Dove
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
|
Dear Gypsy, This is a short, sweet, yet sad haiku about the cat warming an empty chair of his or her owner, a chair that must have been filled at one time with a loved one - a husband, son, friend, etc. Good luck in the contest. Dove
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
Yes, that is what it means. Thank you for the review 😊
Comment from Ulla
Hola Marival, I loved this sweet little haiku. And I'm learning all the time. I liked it a lot and it just convey the sentiment of a cold winter's day. God luck in the contest. Un abrazo, Ulla xx
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
|
Hola Marival, I loved this sweet little haiku. And I'm learning all the time. I liked it a lot and it just convey the sentiment of a cold winter's day. God luck in the contest. Un abrazo, Ulla xx
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
Thank you very much for the review 😊
Comment from royowen
A beautifully written Haiku Gypsy, I've always been fascinated by cats, they ate wonderful people, in many ways their indifferent natures mirror our own, sweetly put together, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
|
A beautifully written Haiku Gypsy, I've always been fascinated by cats, they ate wonderful people, in many ways their indifferent natures mirror our own, sweetly put together, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
Hello, Roy, you wrote that cat's eat people hahaha....it was obviously a little error but it's very funny in a good way. Thank you very much for the review. :)
-
Yes it was a typo Gypsy, it was supposed to be ?are? not ate...but that could be true too, heh heh
Comment from Mark Valentine
"empty chair" - There is so much implied in those two words - that the chair's owner is no more, that the cat is in mourning - amazing how 17 syllables, in skilled hands, can say so much. This should do well in the contest - sorry I don't have a six to amply reward it.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
|
"empty chair" - There is so much implied in those two words - that the chair's owner is no more, that the cat is in mourning - amazing how 17 syllables, in skilled hands, can say so much. This should do well in the contest - sorry I don't have a six to amply reward it.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
Hello, the woman is mourning her dead husband. The cat sleeps in his chair. :)
Thank you for the excellent review.
-
Thanks for the backstory - great haiku!
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Hmm, do cats cry with moisture, or only with their yowls? Is she sad because she can't go out? I know cats can't stand a closed door, any door, it doesnt't matter where it leads. She's glad to have a warm chair to snuggle in, but that's not enough. This captures the complexities of a cat.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
|
Hmm, do cats cry with moisture, or only with their yowls? Is she sad because she can't go out? I know cats can't stand a closed door, any door, it doesnt't matter where it leads. She's glad to have a warm chair to snuggle in, but that's not enough. This captures the complexities of a cat.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
the woman is crying because her husband died, thus the empty chair
Thank you for the excellent review.
-
Oh, I thought the cat was crying. T he cat probably misses him too.
Comment from June Sargent
Oh, how touching and poignant! An empty chair has a cat to warm it. But her her lonely heart has no one left to warm it. Hence, the cold dripping tears fall like rain. Beautiful haiku! I ran out of sixes. This certainly deserves one.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
|
Oh, how touching and poignant! An empty chair has a cat to warm it. But her her lonely heart has no one left to warm it. Hence, the cold dripping tears fall like rain. Beautiful haiku! I ran out of sixes. This certainly deserves one.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
thank you very much for the review
