The Enigma
A 15 syllable poem9 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
Diana,
This is a very romantic verse you shared with us. The artwork and clip just add to its overall presentation.
Like your contrast between close and far away for their relationship.
Since you added a period at the end, consider capitalizing 'we.' Otherwise IMHO, the period becomes unnecessary.
Mark
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
Diana,
This is a very romantic verse you shared with us. The artwork and clip just add to its overall presentation.
Like your contrast between close and far away for their relationship.
Since you added a period at the end, consider capitalizing 'we.' Otherwise IMHO, the period becomes unnecessary.
Mark
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Ok, thanks for the suggestion as I used a comma, so i wasn't sure! appreciate your stars and helpful feedback! xoxo
Comment from Drew Delaney
What a gorgeous picture you've added. The tone of the poem seems depressing in a sense. Our choice of whom we love sometimes bring us more heartache than it's worth. This felt deep.
Drew xx
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
What a gorgeous picture you've added. The tone of the poem seems depressing in a sense. Our choice of whom we love sometimes bring us more heartache than it's worth. This felt deep.
Drew xx
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Thank you, your stars and feedback is most appreciated :) xoxo
Comment from Teri7
This is a very nice and well written 15 syllable poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive words with very nice imagery. Very nice music that went well with your words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
This is a very nice and well written 15 syllable poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive words with very nice imagery. Very nice music that went well with your words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this. Love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Thank you Teri, your stars and encouraging feedback are most appreciated! xoxo
Comment from Ricky1024
"The Enigma"
Is a 15 Syllable Poem Contest Entry rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and flowed well with no Grammar y.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
...
Thanks and good luck with this.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
"The Enigma"
Is a 15 Syllable Poem Contest Entry rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and flowed well with no Grammar y.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
...
Thanks and good luck with this.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Thanks Ricky, this was a tough one for me. Sadly, i got a 2 star initially from a "new member", so i revamped it a bit. My first "2" ever! Ugh LOL! appreciate your supportive review! xoxo
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This poem says much in just a few words. You are telling what love is and how distant it can become if you don't communicate. Your image is breathtaking.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
This poem says much in just a few words. You are telling what love is and how distant it can become if you don't communicate. Your image is breathtaking.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much! appreciate you could get the meaning of this! :) xoxoxo
Comment from Bicpen
It is to myopic with a twist or even a mere second thought it could prevail in a champion of the sport but unfortunately it is reduced to mere face value and is quite a down grade not releasing the full potential of the first initial two lines with a poor conclusion and poor imagination. The syllable count is correct and though difficult at times to consume such wisdom in such short and announcement it can be done just needs to be clearly thought through and delivered in a good and wholesome charm. This one is a worthy winner of any competition.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
It is to myopic with a twist or even a mere second thought it could prevail in a champion of the sport but unfortunately it is reduced to mere face value and is quite a down grade not releasing the full potential of the first initial two lines with a poor conclusion and poor imagination. The syllable count is correct and though difficult at times to consume such wisdom in such short and announcement it can be done just needs to be clearly thought through and delivered in a good and wholesome charm. This one is a worthy winner of any competition.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Good morning! I have revamped this a bit. I guess I wasn?t in my most profound writing place last night lol! Thanks for reviewing! xoxo
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anytime ...
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
The artwork you choose is magical. It captured my attention as well as you words from the start. That is one of my favorite songs by prince. It the true meaning of your poem for sure.Thanks for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
The artwork you choose is magical. It captured my attention as well as you words from the start. That is one of my favorite songs by prince. It the true meaning of your poem for sure.Thanks for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Thank you! Appreciate your stars and precious feedback! xoxo
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My pleasure, have a nice day.
Cookie
Comment from lyenochka
I think I understand what you're saying - perhaps it's because humans have such varying moods and even with our loved ones, we can feel very close or very far. Interesting music, too. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
I think I understand what you're saying - perhaps it's because humans have such varying moods and even with our loved ones, we can feel very close or very far. Interesting music, too. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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The picture shows a couple close but overplayed with separation. It was hard to interpret with the right words. Thank you for your stars and feedback! xoxo
Comment from JP Writer
I'm sorry not to feel inspired to assign this more stars, but it just doesn't work for me. I understand the limitations of a 15-word poetry prompt, but for me to buy into your premise that the closer we move toward love the farther we become, I need some reason. What keeps them apart as they draw closer: Egos? The stress of daily life? Something else? Also, consider using stronger verbs than "move" and "become." Vibrant verbs can do a lot of heavy lifting with very few syllables!
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
I'm sorry not to feel inspired to assign this more stars, but it just doesn't work for me. I understand the limitations of a 15-word poetry prompt, but for me to buy into your premise that the closer we move toward love the farther we become, I need some reason. What keeps them apart as they draw closer: Egos? The stress of daily life? Something else? Also, consider using stronger verbs than "move" and "become." Vibrant verbs can do a lot of heavy lifting with very few syllables!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2020
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Thank you, I sincerely appreciate your point of view. I will look this over and see how I could improve it! it was actual meant to express the picture with the double exposure of close and far. xoxo
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I wish I could assign you six stars for so graciously receiving my critique, which must sting. But your attitude and willingness to rethink your piece will serve you well as your writing evolves. That's worked for me, especially during my decades as a journalist with very tough editors, most of whom were not gentle, but did teach me valuable tools and lessons. Write on!
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Believe me, I totally understood what you meant and no sting! :) I think it is much better now and describes the emotions in the picture better! Humbly appreciated!
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Yes, much better! Not quite profound, but certainly better. Keep writing!!!
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LoL! Thank you! If you have a chance, you may like to read some others I have done which are much more profound. I?ve done 88 poems just since the year started, so I guess being profound Is a little lacking tonight! :). xoxo
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I will certainly check out more of your work... it's late tonight, but I'm making a note to do so tomorrow. I'm impressed that you've posted so many poems. And also, I'm truly honored you have become a follower!
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Thank you. I appreciate! xoxo