Buyer's Remorse
Revenge twice over: at high cost!17 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Bednar
"I assured her that her face was perfectly fine for now"... and with that line I was hoping and praying for the clever twist at the end - I think there would be a few couples squirming in their seats listening to this monologue and a lot of women feeling vindicated!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
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"I assured her that her face was perfectly fine for now"... and with that line I was hoping and praying for the clever twist at the end - I think there would be a few couples squirming in their seats listening to this monologue and a lot of women feeling vindicated!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
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Glad you enjoyed this revenge fantasy. Speaking of which, one reviewer made the excellent point that this should be spoken by the woman--the real-life guy would be furious, not finding humor in the joke being on him. Any thoughts? Cheers. LIZ
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I could see this played by one actor and portray both characters as I'd hate to give up some of his retorts... both have POV that could be explored and enjoyed by the audience. Simple black outfit but a scarf could be added for her, a hat for him. Or it could be two actors, dark stage, spot light on whomever is talking.
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Thanks! So, you mean that the monologue would be shared--swapped back and forth? (presumably with tweaking to the script)
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Yes. I think the full irony of the piece is best captured that way. A LOT of facial expression - could have the audience laughing a bit.
Comment from Alaskastory
"Buyer's Remorse" is very amusing. The story sweeps through right to the inspiring ending. Made me laugh as I'm sure every reader. The format you use is simple and surprises me because you get two (not just one) character portrayed.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
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"Buyer's Remorse" is very amusing. The story sweeps through right to the inspiring ending. Made me laugh as I'm sure every reader. The format you use is simple and surprises me because you get two (not just one) character portrayed.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2020
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Thank you--bonus much appreciated--even more so your lauditory remarks. I am so glad you enjoyed this--I had a great time writing it! Stop by anytime! Cheers. LIZ
(I'm polling the reviewers--do you think this would have been best narrated by the wife instead of the husband? One reviewer made the excellent point that the real-life guy would have been furious--that this comes across as the woman's revenge fantasy--indeed! If you care to weigh in on this, great--certainly, don't feel obliged to.)
Comment from lancellot
I think for this to work better, it would have to be more realistic. (It is not humorous) No woman at any age, much less 50, just comes home one afternoon after breast implant surgery and opens up with a nice new pair. That surgery is hard, and immediately afterward, a person is swollen and awful. Not happening in a morning without hubby knowing.
Then his badgering her at fifty to get them, plus saying to her the face will get done later. Only a fool would say such things. Also, not much of revenge, since he didn't do anything but speak. She actually did the surgery.
I'm afraid this monologue, doesn't seem like something a man would willingly share. It reads more like a woman fantasy of revenge. What is the joke? or funny part. A man losing his wife after 50 isn't funny, right?
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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I think for this to work better, it would have to be more realistic. (It is not humorous) No woman at any age, much less 50, just comes home one afternoon after breast implant surgery and opens up with a nice new pair. That surgery is hard, and immediately afterward, a person is swollen and awful. Not happening in a morning without hubby knowing.
Then his badgering her at fifty to get them, plus saying to her the face will get done later. Only a fool would say such things. Also, not much of revenge, since he didn't do anything but speak. She actually did the surgery.
I'm afraid this monologue, doesn't seem like something a man would willingly share. It reads more like a woman fantasy of revenge. What is the joke? or funny part. A man losing his wife after 50 isn't funny, right?
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Excellent points! It is indeed a revenge fantasy--not intended to be taken seriously--though it is based on a true case and the guy was indeed a fool to say what he did--perhaps this monologue would be better related by the woman rather than the husband (I hadn't intended to give the impression that this happened in a single day--she was purportedly on vacation--indeed the recuperation period is long and painful--one more reason I'd never undergo this, notwithstanding the sag. Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your thoughtful remarks--more meaningful than an auto-five with bland and tangential comments.Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Eternal Muse
Wow, it was so well written it held me spellbound until the end. A bit unexpected end, I must say. But all considered, I guess, that was to be expected.
I loved your descriptive imagery, your use of a dialog, the humor of the whole thing.
That put a big smile on my face:
"She walks in the door, opens her coat wide, flashes me a triumphant smile -- and a brand new set of 38-Ds."Happy birthday!"
You are a great writer.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Wow, it was so well written it held me spellbound until the end. A bit unexpected end, I must say. But all considered, I guess, that was to be expected.
I loved your descriptive imagery, your use of a dialog, the humor of the whole thing.
That put a big smile on my face:
"She walks in the door, opens her coat wide, flashes me a triumphant smile -- and a brand new set of 38-Ds."Happy birthday!"
You are a great writer.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Thank you for your lauditory words! So glad you found it humorous--such as intended, albeit quite darkly. One reviewer pointed out that in real life the guy wouldn't be so cavalier--indeed, he'd be steaming!--given that I wanted to convey humor versus anger perhaps I should recast it with the wife as narrator--she's the one who'd find this amusing, not he! Interested to hear your opinion--I'll be posing this to the other reviewers. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from R. Hiland
Well written. Good consistent voice. In my opinion a bit too much of the woman's perspective from the speaker--I'd expect him to be more of an angry bitchy jerk. He's too complacent--just an opinion...
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Well written. Good consistent voice. In my opinion a bit too much of the woman's perspective from the speaker--I'd expect him to be more of an angry bitchy jerk. He's too complacent--just an opinion...
Comment Written 02-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2020
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Excellent point! Indeed--a real-life dick such as he would be on a vicious rant. I wanted to make this a humor piece with a twist--perhaps I should have told it from the woman's perspective. Thanks for stopping by. Cheers. LIZ
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One reviewer pointed out that in real life the guy wouldn't be so cavalier--indeed, he'd be steaming!--given that I wanted to convey humor versus anger perhaps I should recast it with the wife as narrator--she's the one who'd find this amusing, not he! Interested to hear your opinion--I'll be posing this to the other reviewers. Cheers. LIZ
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The above is the content of what I'll be sending to the others--you are the (astute!) reviewer to whom I refer!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, what kind of all American male would I be if I helped to celebrate a story like this? Although, I must admit, I heehawed at your story and your friend's caribbean good-bye. You write so well, and who doesn't appreciate a little sinister side. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Well, what kind of all American male would I be if I helped to celebrate a story like this? Although, I must admit, I heehawed at your story and your friend's caribbean good-bye. You write so well, and who doesn't appreciate a little sinister side. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thanks for stopping by, Ric. Always a pleasure--boy, I had a ball writing this. Cheers. LIZ
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One reviewer pointed out that in real life the guy wouldn't be so cavalier--indeed, he'd be steaming!--given that I wanted to convey humor versus anger perhaps I should recast it with the wife as narrator--she's the one who'd find this amusing, not he! Interested to hear your opinion--I'll be posing this to the other reviewers. Cheers. LIZ
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Well, I'm not most guys, so I don't know how much help I could be. If she was that unhappy to begin with, chances are probably 70/30 he was an arse anyway. So, good for her. LOL.
Comment from BethShelby
Well, I would say that really was buyer remorse. i guess you don't always get what you pay for. I don't understand why a guy would those fake tits to play with anyway. I've got the Double Ds I love to swap for some nice Bs that didn't sag.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Well, I would say that really was buyer remorse. i guess you don't always get what you pay for. I don't understand why a guy would those fake tits to play with anyway. I've got the Double Ds I love to swap for some nice Bs that didn't sag.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thanks for stopping by, Beth. Always a pleasure--boy, I had a ball writing this. Cheers. LIZ (I've had saggy Bs since age 30)
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One reviewer pointed out that in real life the guy wouldn't be so cavalier--indeed, he'd be steaming!--given that I wanted to convey humor versus anger perhaps I should recast it with the wife as narrator--she's the one who'd find this amusing, not he! Interested to hear your opinion--I'll be posing this to the other reviewers. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Appreciably, I like this script, meant for a bare stage, a monologue in one act for a male, innovative and factually reformed; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this, never quit, keep writing, respectfully, ALCREATOR.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Appreciably, I like this script, meant for a bare stage, a monologue in one act for a male, innovative and factually reformed; well said, well done; enjoyed the read; thank you for sharing this, never quit, keep writing, respectfully, ALCREATOR.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thanks for stopping by--Always a pleasure--boy, I had a ball writing this. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Only you can come up with such a story, I laugh so much reading it. The revenge of kitty galore: "And under that she'd written: And I'm at that age when life is too damn short to waste on a dick like you. This bitch is outta here. And a big'Ta-Ta' from the 'girls.'
Thank you for sharing, and good luck with your writings,
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Only you can come up with such a story, I laugh so much reading it. The revenge of kitty galore: "And under that she'd written: And I'm at that age when life is too damn short to waste on a dick like you. This bitch is outta here. And a big'Ta-Ta' from the 'girls.'
Thank you for sharing, and good luck with your writings,
Comment Written 01-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020
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Thanks for stopping by, Iza. Always a pleasure--boy, I had a ball writing this. Cheers. LIZ
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One reviewer pointed out that in real life the guy wouldn't be so cavalier--indeed, he'd be steaming!--given that I wanted to convey humor versus anger perhaps I should recast it with the wife as narrator--she's the one who'd find this amusing, not he! Interested to hear your opinion--I'll be posing this to the other reviewers. Cheers. LIZ
Comment from Spitfire
Darn! I just used my last six. So well written. Clever how you worked her age into it. A wonderful build-up to the climatic moment. I kept thinking he'd feel her but he couldn't jiggle them and found no pleasure in the silicone taste. LOL
But your ending is exactly what I would do--
reply by the author on 16-May-2020
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Darn! I just used my last six. So well written. Clever how you worked her age into it. A wonderful build-up to the climatic moment. I kept thinking he'd feel her but he couldn't jiggle them and found no pleasure in the silicone taste. LOL
But your ending is exactly what I would do--
Comment Written 15-May-2020
reply by the author on 16-May-2020
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Thanks Shari! It's the thought that counts--thanks for thinking it! Cheers. LIZ
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One reviewer pointed out that in real life the guy wouldn't be so cavalier--indeed, he'd be steaming!--given that I wanted to convey humor versus anger perhaps I should recast it with the wife as narrator--she's the one who'd find this amusing, not he! Interested to hear your opinion--I'll be posing this to the other reviewers. Cheers. LIZ
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I think it is fine as is.
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Thanks for your feedback. Two other reviewers explicitly appreciated the male POV; I await the opinions of others who didn't comment on it one way or the other. Besides the one who suggested the switch, there was one reviewer who found it a distasteful revenge fantasy, not believable as told and not in the least amusing. Can't win 'em all.
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Hey, if it upsets someone, that's better than making him/her feel nothing.
